News Bits

by Alex Henke
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

Castro found alive, walking—resurrection technology to be barred from US soil
The presumed-dead and formerly presumed-not Communist Cuban dictator Fidel Castro released a video earlier this week showing him walking and reading a newspaper. Experts who declared his death earlier this month now expect the recently resurrected corpse of Castro to bar any sharing of this newfound death-to-life technology with the US due to trade embargos. “Shit, you mean I could die from Cuban cigars and then come back?” said oh-so-lonely President Bush. “Maybe if I live forever, people will like me in the future. Oh, hell . …” Then, the executive said, “Let there be no embargo,” and there was no embargo. In other news, amen.

Michael J. Fox goes to Iowa to promote stem cell research, Iowa lures celebrity into state to promote Iowa
In celebrity news, Michael J. Fox is campaigning for embryonic stem cell research in the otherwise unremarkable state of Iowa. Iowans are reportedly glad that their state will be garnering national attention for the time being, as 75 percent of their tourism income relies on a celebrity visiting and/or flying over the state most known for being the “face” in the chef-like shape in the middle of the U.S. map. Radio pundit and, yes, fatty fat Rush Limbaugh reportedly stooped to previously-reached lows by suggesting that Fox’s wavering on camera was an act and not his Parkinson’s Disease. After being corrected, Rush went on to apologize by calling Fox a Democratic shill who exploits his disease. After being told to sit in the corner and be a good little fat-boy, Rush Limbaugh escaped his holders. He is presumed to be on an opiate/food binge. Gasoline station food marts and Mallomar manufacturers should be on the lookout for a crying, pathetic shell of a man.

Florida physicist disproves Dracula using math, America increasingly skeptical of Florida Ph.D. requirements
During last Tuesday’s ghostly fun, a professor at the University of Central Florida disproved the existence of ghosts, zombies, and Dracula using math and physics. “I did this in order to increase the skepticism to the obviously nonexistent,” said Professor and self-proclaimed genius Costas Efthimiou. “That, and I need to publish something, but it can’t be something too hard or my head will hurt.” Professor Efthimiou’s efforts are starting to bear fruit. “I have become more skeptical to the obviously nonexistent,” said a randomly surveyed American person, Bob Randomperson. “… Ph.D. requirements in Florida. Shit, they’re giving away doctorates like hymens at a frat party. I bet I could become the head of the English department at UCF because I know what hymen means. Fuck it; I’m quitting my job as randomly surveyed and/or interviewed person.” In other news, the Pioneer needs you for a super-special, super secret job! Apply at backpage@whitman.edu.

Not so (post)secret

A few years ago Whitman College was ranked high in the catagory of “Happiest Students.’ Year after year, our ranking continued to slip and we always wondered why. Thanks to the postsecret exhibition in Stevens Gallery, we now know. Man, Whitman College, you’ve got angst. I mean, I know we all got problems, but damn. Well, we want to help you. But we can’t help you if we don’t know you. So, we thought we’d use this week’s issue to break down this whole anonymity thing. We’ve got our hands on some unused postsecret submissions and we’ve decided to publish them with names. Also, we thought we’d throw ours up here for good measure. Enjoy! And seriously … just take a deep breath.

George Bridges, President

Ron Urban, Registrar

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dru Johnston, Back Page Editor

 

 

 

George, Fictional Character and friend of Lenny

 

Stephen Carter, Back Page Editor

Swim team places third at NWC relay meet

by Marcus Koontz
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

Regarding two recent October swim meets, Whitman swim team coach Jenn Blomme touted the team’s strong sportsmanship.

The Oct. 27 Northwest Conference Sprint Pentathlon and the following day’s Northwest Conference Relay provided an opportunity to practice diligence, win success, and grow as a team.

“Our swimmers came into the meet with a confident and relaxed attitude, and we had some fast early swims,” said Blomme. “We also got a better idea of where we need to work.”

In this season opener, the Missionaries had sophomore Ysbrand Nusse place sixth overall and first-year Eric Molnar place 11th.

This is the best performance the men’s team has had during a season opener.

In the women’s team, Erin Pettersen placed in 12th with three others finishing in the top 20.

Later, excitement filled Whitman fans when the grouping of men’s and women’s swim team scores placed them in third place at Saturday’s Northwest Conference relay meet, just trailing behind Whitworth and Puget Sound.

“I really think we had the most excited and united team at the pool,” said Blomme, “For the most part, we swam good early season times.”

Whitman will host meets at the new Paul Harvey Pool for the first time this coming weekend.

Whitman will host Lewis & Clark College at 6 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 3 and Albertson College at 1 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 4.

Cross-country runners earn conference honors

by Christina Russell
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

The Whitman cross-country team kicked up their heels and headed west last Saturday, where they ran in the Northwest Conference Cross-Country Championships at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma.

The NWC is comprised of George Fox University, Lewis and Clark College, Linfield College, Pacific University, Pacific Lutheran University, University of Puget Sound, Willamette University, Whitworth College and Whitman. “We faced everyone,” said captain Sam Clark. “But the teams we were gunning for in particular are Lewis and Clark, Whitworth and Linfield.”

The team brought runners for both the men’s 8k and the women’s 6k events. The men concluded the conference with 138 points, five points short of Whitworth, who finished fifth, and 19 points behind fourth place George Fox. Willamette won overall with 40 points. In the women’s 6k, Whitman earned 126 points, three points more than fifth place Whitworth and 11 more than third place Lewis and Clark. Again, Willamette claimed first with 50 points.

Standout performances included senior Clark, who placed ninth overall with a time of 25:11 and claimed all-conference honors, alongside all-conference honors winner first-year Missionary Sara McClune, who ranked 14th in the women’s division with a time of 22:23. Between Clark and McClune, this is the first time in 11 years that Whitman has earned all-conference honors in both divisions. “What I am most excited about is how much we’ve improved from last year. We were competitive at the Conference meet this year,” said head coach Malcolm Dunn.

Other notable runs include junior Brian Woods, who got 20th with a time of 25:32, and first-year women Yasmeen Colia and Michela Corcorran, who claimed 19th (22:43) and 20th (22:44), respectively. Senior Caitlin Kearney, who has been out because of a serious stress fracture, was able to overcome her injury in order to run a personal best time of 23:25. All nine female runners earned personal best times, in addition to Whitman’s top six runners, who each clocked in with personal bests of the season.

Up ahead for the cross-country team are two more weeks of season, which will conclude with the West Region Championships in Chino, California on Nov. 11. “The course overall was very flat and fast,” said Clark on Saturday’s run. “[In Chino] the course [will be] slower and hillier, which will make for a very different race.”

Volleyball beats #1-ranked PLU

by Lizzie Norgard
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

The weekend ended with excitement for the Whitman’s volleyball team, as the women won home matches against both PLU and UPS.

Whitman played against Pacific Lutheran University on Friday night, handing PLU their first defeat of the season. The Missionaries won 3-2, cinching the victory in the last three games. The scores were 27-30, 21-30, 30-24, 30-28, and 15-11.

Though the Missionaries lost the first two games of the match, they were especially determined to beat PLU.

“To come back from a two game loss to the number one team takes a lot our courage and determination,” said senior Kate Borsato. “We hadn’t won a fifth game yet this season, and that match was the perfect game to do so.”

Whitman’s women maintained their strength on Saturday night, when they beat University of Puget Sound 3-0. The scores were 30-28, 30-17, and 30-26.

Spirits in Sherwood were especially high after Saturday’s match.

“We were extremely motivated to beat those girls, as they have beaten us twice previous this season,” said Borsato. “It was a really fun win; smiles were on the court the entire time.”

Water waves for Walla Walla heat waves

by Lizzie Norgard
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

On Nov. 7, Walla Walla voters will decide if they will pay to build a new aquatic center. Complete with water slides, a wave pool, and a wading pool for small children, the aquatic center would especially benefit youth and families during the hot Walla Walla summers.

The bond proposal for the new aquatic center asks voters in the Borleske district to pay $7.42 million for the project over the course of 25 years. Funding would come from local property taxes, amounting to $23 per year per $100,000 of the resident’s property value. If the proposal is passed the aquatic center will be built on the site of the former Memorial Pool, next to Borleske Stadium.

The current proposal is a modification of a previous aquatic center proposal, which failed on the ballot three years ago. The prior proposal for a $9 million aquatic center would have been built on a different site and been funded partially by sales taxes from people throughout the county.

Though the 2003 proposal failed and there are rumors of debate over the new one, support for the aquatic center in the Whitman community appears strong.

Rebecca Sickels, who runs the Whitman mentor program and teaches yoga at the Juvenile Detention Center, sees the benefit of the aquatic center for at-risk youth in particular. “I look at our at-risk youth and I wonder what other options in this town they have other than hanging out at Coffee Perk? A lot of sports or other programs are too expensive. Over 60 percent of our public school children are living at or below the poverty line. Where can they spend time doing something healthy and productive and not participate in unhealthy risky behaviors? A reasonably priced public pool,” Sickels said.

Chemistry professor Ruth Russo said that the benefit of a public pool for the entire community is well worth the cost to taxpayers. “The cost per hundred thousand dollars is a very good value for the money, compared with other non-essentials people spend money on: $4 drinks at Starbuck’s; cable TV; gas-guzzling cars; or an evening movie at the theater,” Russo said.

Film professor Robert Sickels also supports the proposal. “For a town that touts itself as being a great place to raise kids, it seems insane to not have a public pool. As a dad with a little girl who I regularly haul to Milton-Freewater, I’d really like to see it pass this time,” he said.

Platforms for WA State Senate candidates

Mike McGavick, Republican

Slogan:
“Northwestern voice of civility”

Status:
He has never held an elected office. He is the former Chairman, President, and CEO of Safeco Insurance.

Platform:
Education
McGavick wants to invest in early childhood education, excel educational standards with acts such as No Child Left Behind, increase grant, and make the US more competitive with other nations.

War on terror
McGavick wants to work to root out radical terrorism and support our troops. He is committed to deterring nuclear programs and to addressing North Korea’s nuclear testing. He believes we cannot retreat from our moral obligation in Iraq and we must fully implement the 9/11 Commission’s recommendations.

Immigration
McGavick believes we need an overhaul of our nation’s immigration system, beginning with securing our borders and creating a rigorous path to citizenship.

Health care
McGavick wants to control healthcare costs by putting patients in control of their health care decisions and helping the uninsured gain care.

Environment
McGavick believes environmental conservation and productive development are not mutually exclusive. He says we can protect and improve our environment while allowing responsible human development. McGavick is against the removal of dams in Eastern Washington, and he wishes to curb human contribution to climate change.

Fiscal responsibility
McGavick believes Congress must make tough choices to get the deficit under control. He also advocates a non-partisan approach to Social Security.

In the news:
The Democratic Party filed a complaint with the Federal Elections Commission alleging that his $17 million severance in cash and accelerated stock options given by Safeco (his previous employer) amounted to an illegal campaign contribution to his Senate campaign. The ruling is still pending.

Maria Cantwell, Democrat

Slogan:
“Putting us forward”

Status:
Incumbent, originally sworn into office in 2001.

Platform:
Economic growth
Cantwell says she is committed to helping middle class families in our changing economy. She has worked to boost small businesses and create jobs in both traditional and new areas.

Security at home
Cantwell believes that the government’s highest priority should be to keep all Americans safe. She has fought to increase border security, to develop new technologies for civilian protection from unseen threats, and to better equip our ground troops.

Security in the world
Cantwell believes that we must keep our country safe and secure by using our power and influence to promote freedom and democracy.

Energy independence
Cantwell is the Senate Democrats’ leader on Energy Independence and is working to end our addiction to foreign oil by 2020.

Clean environment
Cantwell considers hersef one of the nation’s strongest environmental leaders. She has supported policies to hold corporate polluters accountable and to protect our pristine roadless areas from logging and road construction.

Affordable health care
Cantwell supports programs to provide affordable coverage, to guarantee children access to health care, and to provide medication and care to the elderly, disabled and chronically ill.

Responsible government
Cantwell considers it a priority to keep the government clean and accountable to the people it serves.

Quality education
Cantwell wants to invest necessary resources and use the best technology in implementing a comprehensive strategy for K-12 education and higher education.

Protecting our rights
As we enter the information age and more personal information becomes publicly available, Cantwell is committed to protecting our privacy. She believes privacy rights are more important than ever.

Secure retirement
Cantwell believes we have a responsibility to protect Social Security and Medicare and to stand up to special interests to get health care costs under control.

In the news:
As Cantwell pulls ahead in the polls, she has come under fire for her unwillingness to grant McGavick additional time for televised debate. Editorials in the Daily Olympian and the Yakima Herald-Republic have rebuked Cantwell, claiming that she is afraid to confront McGavick.

Robin Adair, Independent

Slogan:
“Unexpected Candidate, Uniquely Qualified”

Status:
Adair has not held an elected office.

Platform:
The Economy
Adair warns of a Congress-constructed “sub-economy” that has replaced the classic economy. She believes that removing money from circulation decreases economic growth, and foresees this resulting in the collapse of our economy. She says the poor and middle class will take the brunt of this collapse. She believes congress should adopt a natural economic method to avoid destabilizing, abrupt changes.

The Constitution
Adair claims that American rights are under attack by the government. According to her campaign literature, she is anxious to “take action” on issues of torture, and the alleged “removal of Habeas Corpus.”

Iraqi War
Adair says that the United States should withdraw to Kurd territory and keep only a “career” presence in Iraq. She believes that if we pull out entirely, Iran will invade and more will die.

Corruption
Adair accuses Congress of allowing bribery to influence legislation and voices concern for how these irresponsible decisions will effect our future generations.

Social issues
Adair offers an economic model to make Social Security profitable in 17-20 years, to make insurance affordable, and to clean up Medicare.

Environment
Adair says we need to clean up pollution with innovative technology.

Immigration
Adair believes that illegal immigrants are hurting our sense of community and increasing crime rates. She advocates border patrol and better knowledge of who is entering.

In the news:
On occasion, respectful acknowledgement of Adair’s candidacy is made in the news. Many have denounced her status as a “serious candidate.”

Bruce Guthrie, Libertarian

Slogan:
“It’s time for real change”

Status:
Guthrie does not hold an elected office. He is a lecturer in the Department of Management at Western Washington University.

Platform:
A Policy of Peace
Guthrie says he wants to get America back on the path to Peace by ending the occupation of Iraq, reducing troops permanently stationed abroad, and keeping an all-volunteer military.

A culture of freedom
Guthrie’s campaign literature emphasizes maintaining individual freedoms. He claims that the current administration has ignored this important value through domestic spying programs, passing the Patriot Act, and ignoring individual rights to medical care.

Restoring faith in democracy
Guthrie is committed to counteracting recent cynicism about democracy. To do so, he will work to ensure fair elections, pursue and prosecute allegations of corruption, and restore checks and balances.

National Deficit
Guthrie voices concern about the financial state our country is leaving our children in. He denounces deficit spending and the irresponsible politicians who are allowing it to happen with an increasing frequency.

Support veterans
Guthrie is prepared to re-allocate resources from other spending areas in order to keep our promises to Veterans.

Social Security
Guthrie believes that by ending war in Iraq, cutting corporate welfare and making responsible financial decisions, we will be able to keep promises of Social Security benefits to our senior citizens.

In the news:
On Oct. 1, The Seattle Times reported that Guthrie will loan his campaign a substantial part of his life savings—nearly $1.2 million. The loan was an attempt to meet the fundraising requirement for inclusion in KING-TV’s debate among the candidates. Guthrie participated in the Oct. 17, 2006, debate alongside Cantwell and McGavick. Dixon was barred access.

Aaron Dixon, Green Party

Slogan:
“We have a choice: a grassroots run for the senate”

Status:
Dixon does not currently hold an elected office. He is an American activist and former captain of the Seattle chapter of the Black Panther Party.

Platform:
Out of war, into communities
Dixon says he is committed to ending the nation’s many unjust wars. He believes that peace and justice cannot be obtained through war. Furthermore, he wants to redirect resources currently used for war to aid in the rehabilitation of communities at home.

The war on drugs
Dixon challenges the war on drugs as a successful policy. He wants to reform criminal justice, including repealing the laws that ban drug offenders from housing, food stamps, access to their children, college assistance and the right to vote. He believes that following rehabilitation, a person should be effectively returned to society.

Attacks on civil liberties
Dixon opposes all legislation that will give the government more intrusive powers with regard to the civil liberties of free persons.

The environment
Dixon wants to dramatically reduce global carbon emissions in the next few decades through aggressively regulating and reducing emissions, as well as increasing investment in environmentally sound systems.

Economic foreign policy
Dixon does not support policies that advance globalization. He pushes for fair trade rather than “free trade.” He supports economic relationships of equality, not domination by capitalist countries.

Relations with developing world
Dixon believes that the paternal and punitive relationship with our Latin American neighbors must end. He also believes that Africa needs development based on fair trade relationships and the ownership and use of its rich natural resources for its people. He wants to introduce legislation that will push for enforceable norms of behavior by both international organizations and private corporations, to reduce Western control in the developing world.

National defense
Dixon says he supports nuclear disarmament and the end of funding for Star Wars and the militarization of space.

Health Care
Dixon believes we need a single-payer health care system and he supports legislation to provide every person in the nation with complete preventative, acute and chronic health care coverage.

The spoiler issue
Dixon wants to break the myth that a vote for him is either pointless or amounts to a vote for another candidate. He says his opponents do not represent Washington’s interests and that voting for them sends the message that you support their constant betrayals.

In the news:
On Oct. 17, Dixon was arrested for trespassing at KING-5 television studio in Seattle, in protest of his exclusion from the televised U.S. Senate debate being filmed there. A KING video of the arrest showed Aaron Dixon being led out of the lobby by officers and then placed in the back of a police car in handcuffs, as dozens of his supporters chanted “Let him go!” Dixon did not meet the sponsors’ criteria of public support or fundraising to participate in the debate.

Correspondence from France

by Emma Wood
France

It’s not my calendar but instead my grammar teacher, Madame de Pous, who serves as my measure of time. Blue eyeliner brightens her leathery face as each Monday she reminds us: “You’ve been here four weeks now … five … six. If you haven’t started speaking French yet, it’s time. You didn’t come to France to go out drinking with other Americans.” Yeah, that would be stupid, I scoff—forgetting that other Emma who spent her samedi soir on a marathon tour of the downtown bars.

Seven weeks it is now. No longer a vacation. I’ve been here to watch the trees at the Fac transform into red-hued beauties (oh! I was scared they didn’t have fall in France). I’ve been here for a birthday—my 20th!—a day full of “joyeux anniversaire”s from people who didn’t exist in my world last August. I’ve been here long enough that I suddenly, magically, understand the benediction my Very Catholic family recites each night before we eat.

Scariest of all, like the Velveteen Rabbit, the people here have started to be real. I miss them when there’s a day with no “textos.” I have people with whom to eat too many croissants, take bike rides, watch clouds. People who write me fairy tales for my birthday, about papillons and all things magic. I don’t know when it happened, really. Seven weeks of tram rides and confusion and feeling too American and ashamed of my Chacos and deprived of “your mom jokes”—and suddenly this place is my own. I’m scared to come home. The tiny French roots have finally sprouted, and I’m in love with my Franco-Brazilian capoeira instructor, who chants and frowns like an Indian chief, with the girl in my lit class who packs picnics for lunch, even with Madame de Pous. And that creepy guy in my art class who stalks around while the rest of us stay still, feverishly sketching from every angle—damn it, I’m going to miss him too.

But, to stay here? To miss the fluffy pink Walla Walla spring? And that moment when, with the trees, the Venus statue looks almost passable … and my grandmother … my mother. I, the utterly-independent college student, have thousands of threads to draw me back home! Poof poof … (that’s the French form of eeny meeny miney moe) … poof poof, time will tell.

I have one last thing to teach you: “He loves me, he loves me not,” en francais. “Il m’aime; un peu; passionnement; a la folie; pas du tout.”

Correspondence from Spain

by Sally Sorte
SPAIN

Portugal is appropriately located on the West Coast of the Iberian Peninsula in relation to the Spanish East Coast, which fits the laid-back attitude of its inhabitants. Lisbon is to San Francisco as Madrid is to NYC—Lisbon even has its own golden gate bridge.

In Portugal, without Halloween or Thanksgiving to splice the holiday season, Christmas lights and decorations are already being hung over the streets and sweet steam billows upwards from carts of roasted chestnuts in cobblestone intersections.

We struck gold with our hostel, which had Internet, comfy beds, a wide selection of DVDs in various languages, videogames, and 24-hour check-in and came with breakfast. The temperature was in the 70s as Lisbon is Europe’s hottest capitol, so we were wearing flip-flops and tank tops in the middle of fall. Our luck continued when we went to the train station and learned that the company was celebrating its 150th birthday so we got to ride for free. We went to the quaint, gingerbread town of Sintra and climbed ancient towers while a minstrel played “Green Sleeves” in the castle courtyard, looked up the palace’s double chimneys that were shaped like kerosene lamps at circles of blue sky, and explored the village that was straight out of Belle’s provincial life.

The nightlife in Portugal was equally impressive. The streets in the clubbing district were full of revellers that preferred ‘aire libre’ to smoky bars. We sampled local cuisine, collaborated with a graffiti artist and free-styled with some Portuguese gangsters.

One thing I don’t understand is why we call the capitol of Portugal “Lisbon” when its populace and all the street signs refer to it as “Lisboa.” Like when I tell people from which of the 50 states I spawn and they take a few seconds and then say, “Ohhh, you mean Oregoooooan.” No, I mean Oregon, like I was mining and uncovered ore again; I wouldn’t say ore all gone. My Spanish friends understand; they do not live in Spain, they live in España. Names shouldn’t translate. Of course, on the good days when my Señora remembers his name, she calls my Bostonian roommate, Andrew, “Andrés.” People also get confused with my name since phonetically it’s a Spanish verb conjugated in the preterite ‘yo’ form. I guess in Facebook terms, I should just take “whatever I can get.”

Another befuddler is that in Madrid I could dress for the Space Party and be ignored on the metro, but if I eat an apple on the way to class people will stop and stare. I can’t masticate fruit, but Spanish couples are allowed to eat each other’s faces all the time? “Pay Day Ah” occurs in the elevator (“ascensor” yourself!), on the street (you “calle” that a goodnight kiss?), in the park (the “césped” is becoming a cesspool!), in the car (“coche” her another time), in the promenade (go inside and then make a “paseo” at your crush), on the bench (put that in the “banco” and let it gain interest until tonight), and everywhere in between (“entre” yourself indoors, por FAVOR!). Hey, at least I’m left without an appetite.

From a broad.

Correspondence from Chicago

by Sophie Johnson
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS

It is getting colder. The days are getting shorter. The wind is getting stronger. Finally. I know I’ve been waiting to employ “the layered look” (sooo chic right now) since mid-June.

Before I go any further, I must preface this column by telling you that while I think of myself as pretty progressive (sweat shops = bad; negative body images = bad; expensive clothing in general = bad), I have a weakness for fashion magazines. I’ve been putting off admitting it for far too long, and now I feel I need to embrace my love for couture, eclectic fabrics, and Harper’s Bazaar. And on the record: I hated “Project Runway”’s Jeffery throughout the whole third season (glaring neck tattoos? Dumb!), but his final collection was the best.

Naturally, a perk to living in Chicago is taking trips to Wicker Park to check out the skinny, skinny girls (how I love the skinny, skinny girls; they’re just like hangers for beautiful clothes) in their hipster outfits. I obviously knew that my wardrobe was going to quadruple while I was here, so I intentionally did not bring very many clothes. This was just the excuse I needed to invest in a slew of vintage-y sweaters from the myriad resale shops scattered around the city. After extensive research (read: staring at the skinny, skinny girls for hours), I have deemed myself a fashion deity. As the Pioneer does not currently have a regular fashion writer, I pen this column for the good of Whitman-kind.

Let us start with the basics: No, Whitman students, you do not have to wear Carhartts. Nor do you have to wear Birkenstocks, tie-dyed t-shirts, or linen pants. I looked in the Whitman Students’ Handbook, and contrary to popular belief, these are not requirements to fulfill your status as a student on this campus. The administration does not necessarily want you to wear ugly clothes. So go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief. Then I suggest you find a Goodwill donation center post-haste.

I guess it is okay to own sweat pants and sweatshirts (I personally like the bookstore’s semi-new version of the “gold” Whitman College sweatshirt), but it is certainly not okay to limit yourself to them. One day a week (preferably following a legitimate all-nighter) is the maximum amount of times any single person should wear sweats or pajamas. I know that life is hectic, so I grant your waistline one day of breathing room. But that’s all.

This is where a reliable pair of jeans becomes necessary. As I do not constitute “khaki” as a legitimate color (let alone something that should ever be worn under any circumstances), the only option for comfortable day-to-day wear is denim. This can be tricky, I know. I like Levi’s, but that’s because I have big hips.

Skinny jeans are all the rage right now, and while some argue this is nothing more than the re-marketing of the vastly unflattering tapered jeans of the early ‘90s, I think they’re miraculous. I don’t know about you, but I have always been rather proud of my calves. I am pleased to be able to don denim that shows off their shape without being impractical for winter. The close fit is very warm, and they can double as leggings under mini-dresses. What a fantastic resource!

But it does bring me to a very difficult topic: the jeans tucked into the boots look. I have heard from reliable sources that this look is somewhat ubiquitous among the fashionably-forward on campus these days, and has gained popularity even among some of the fashionably-flawed. This is certainly controversial.

Let me just get this out there: I have tucked my jeans into my boots before. My best friend, Kim (incredibly well-dressed), does it all the time. I think the key is that you have to be careful about it. First, it is important to choose the right boots. The look does not work with leather boots (too wannabe porn star), nor does it fly with Uggs (can anyone say “2005”?). Choose a boot that is understated but slouchy (Target has some great ones that all the indie scenesters are wearing right now), and make sure you are wearing very skinny jeans. If the boots-in-jeans look is seamless rather than bulky, it can look very sophisticated.

In terms of jackets, pea coats are always safe. But why be safe? Punchy red and green are the colors for coats this season (skip an ostentatious tweed; it’s on the way out). Get creative with cuts and styles (mid-length is very in). Sure you’re only going to be wearing it for one season, but what else are you going to spend your money on? Food? Food will only make you fat.

I think the looks for men are basically self-explanatory: Please dress like my boyfriend. I like him and he dresses well. Men’s clothes are boring.

In summation, I think it’s safe to say that, in a lot of ways, fashion is more important than anything in the entire world. If you look hot in what you wear, people like me are going to idolize you. And you know what my motto is: The better you dress, the more likely you are to end world hunger and war and stuff like that.

Distributing away the breadth of education

by Sarah McCarthy
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

When plotting my schedule for the coming semester, I first, carefully, make up a bizarre-world schedule—one full of classes that I am unqualified for, that I would not like, and that I would sooner drop out of school than take. This spring’s schedule includes: LIB 100: Use of the Library, SSRA 250-A (Intercollegiate Basketball-men), Advanced Printmaking, and, most importantly, Honors Thesis—BBMB. Once I finished cackling with delight at my bizarre-schedule’s bizarroness, I realized two important facts about my real schedule: first, that I am nearly done with my distribution requirements and second, that by all rights I should not be. To act truly in the spirit of distribution requirements, one must make up a bizarre-world schedule and then actually take one of the classes on it. I have desecrated this spirit in the most shameful of ways.

My first act of desecration was to take Astro 110 as my science with a lab. Astro 110 was, may I say, a delightful class taught by an extremely delightful person. It moved my soul, made me want to cry for the sheer beauty of the universe, and taught me the most important fact I’ve ever learned: that on Saturn, the rain is liquid helium. The class was many things, but a science with a lab was certainly not one of them. No labs occurred. It is impossible to exaggerate the extent to which there were no labs. Indeed, unless the word “lab” has been redefined to mean “worksheet,” not a single lab happened.

I tacked on my remaining two science credits by taking an even more tricky class, “Seminars in Nutrition.” The class met once a week, included no papers or a final, and, trickiest of all, it appeared as the impressive-looking Bio 427 on my transcript. The actual students in the class were an ungodly hybrid of both classics, theatre, and English majors hungry for distribution and, strangely enough, people going for honors in BBMB who needed a few more upper-level Bio credits. Mostly, we just stared at each other in confusion as BBMB people presented on the science behind macrobiotic diets and the classics majors talked about instances of feasting in “The Odyssey.” We were united, however, in our desire to use fats, oils and sweets sparingly. At the end of the semester, we had an awkward but nutritious potluck. Rarely has there been a more amazing class.

Perhaps my best trick of all has been fulfilling my alternative voices with a class that teaches me the foundation of Western civilization—Latin. Latin, like astronomy, is a great, maybe even a perfect class. In simply no way, though, are the voices of ancient Rome “alternative.” Have the voices of Ovid, Cicero, and Virgil been too long silenced? In upper-level Latin and Greek, both of which count for alternative voices here, you essentially just read things you did in Core in their original languages. This is all well and good, of course, but “alternative” it is not. I plan to take one of the “women” classes—women as composers, maybe, or women in ancient Greece for my next alternative voices. I will take them and not worry very much about whether a group that comprises 52 percent of the world’s population can really be considered “alternative.” To carry the logic further would mean that being a woman is really just a less-favorable alternative to being a man, but the course catalog cannot be blamed—it states that those classes are alternative and I blindly believe it.

In that this long saga of my schedule there is a point, and it is this: Distribution is silly. The fact that you are made to take SIX credits in every area is un-called for and simply bad manners—it’s a bit akin to the restaurant manager in “Office Space” demanding that people wear more than the minimum amount of “flair.” If you want us to take two classes in every subject, mighty Whitman, then just say so; but don’t make this dreadful policy that spawns two-credit quasi classes in which little to no learning occurs. Or better yet, realize that if you have to bend the rules enough that you can weasel your way out of as many requirements as I have, the rules need a change. The change is not stricter requirements but fewer of them. Change the number of credits to four per subject area and allow people to opt out of at least one of them. If they’re careful enough readers of the course catalog, they’ll manage to opt out anyways. Leave bizzaro-world schedules for bizarre world—allow people a little more time to take what they actually want.

Curing sickness by the spoonful

by Valerie Lopez
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

Aside from dispelling my irrational fears of having bronchitis or pneumonia (a big middle finger salute to whoever got me hacking phlegm for two weeks now), my friends provide a necessary anodyne relief to an irreverent strain of cold: spooning. Yes, hold the Nyquils, the Dayquils and the Robitussins. At this time of the year, cough syrup isn’t enough to get you well, when the culmination of school work and stupidlifeshitdrama consequently leads to psychosomatic detriments. Spooning is necessary.

(For those who are not entirely literate in “this generation’s” vernacular, spooning entails a horizontal hug where at least two individuals lie back to chest, and fit into each others’ nooks like little spoons in a drawer—source: urbandictionary.com.)

Because I unfortunately can’t pack my mommy into a suitcase and have her at my convenience, I unfortunately can’t receive mommy-love, therefore no mommy-spooning. Mommy-spooning is a category of spooning all on its own. Naturally, this doesn’t necessitate a biological mother but anyone you consider being mothered by. Being mommy-spooned entails a very childhood sense of comfort and safety, a physical reassurance that, despite all the mean kids in the play ground, the horrible math teachers, and the childhood fevers, everything in the world is going to be alright. The orientation of mommy-spooning resembles a fetal like position, physically depicting a deep sense of connection between a mother and a child. Man, I miss my mom.

Now, back to my college supplement to cough syrup. Friend-spooning is just as necessary to physical and emotional health as mommy-spooning because it provides an atmosphere conducive, but not limited, to the following: a. a comforting silence shared by all parties involved, b. DMCs (deep meaningful conversations), c. exchange of hilarious personal narratives, d. an opportunity to orchestrate bodily noises, e. tickling matches, f. much lovin’. You secretly know there’s nothing more delightful than playfully fighting your role in either being the Big Spoon or the Little Spoon, and in this realm of spooning a 200-pound guy is just as likely to be Little Spoon as is a 90-pound lad. The major advantage to this type of spooning is the unlimited number of individuals that can partake in the activity and—sometimes—the more the merrier. Friend-spooning is a platonic way of showing your friendly affections and care, which is most necessary when your friends are experiencing a virulent strain of life experience.

And then there’s the significant-other spooning. I am certain that most of you already know the merits of this category (although I really would like to say that spooning isn’t spooning if it leads to something else—that’s called foreplay). It provides a different sense of comfort; it physically reflects the romantic relationship shared by the two parties involved. And that’s fun too.

Obviously there’s no possible way I could trace the genealogy of spooning, but it’s not very difficult to understand its importance. Firstly, from the aforementioned categories of spooning, we can deduce that the delicate mechanics of spooning (as in platonic vs. romantic displays of physical affection) not only reflects the type of relationship you have with others, but, more importantly, the level of trust and affection you possess for the other individual(s).

The world is consistently in flux, unstable, and precarious as it bombards us with strains that permeate our emotional beings. Although we do need our allotted alone-time in order to recuperate, I believe that loneliness further aggravates us. Most of the time, a direct physical contact or a firm sense of physical presence of others is needed in order to remind us that we’re not alone and that we have other people who do care for us. Underpinning all spooning is warmth and security; when time becomes anachronistic and the harsh realities of the world dissolve.

Now that I think about it, it may be entirely possible that a poet was slightly misquoted: “Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast, / To feel for ever its soft fall and swell, / Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, / Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, / And so live ever—or else spoon to death.”

Perspective’s impact

by Marcus Koontz
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

“If you don’t do this, I’m going to beat your *expletive-deleted*. Get it done, I know you can do it, one of us has to make it.” That’s what my younger cousin Michael, a high school dropout, said to me the week before I came to Walla Walla for college. In his coarse words is hidden a hope that I carry. His isn’t the only one; the hope of my family, my friends, kids from my old neighborhood, and ultimately my race is carried sloppily on my back.

None of my immediate family, my grandparents or ancestors has attended college. I am the first in my line. In some ways I’m a poor selection for the job of moving us forward. I’ve never been particularly good at ‘school.’ But the lot of my family and the hope of others has fallen on my back because I have made it this far.

I was at the town hall meeting Sunday night and I heard many people asking about the ‘minority’ perspective. They wanted to know ‘how it felt’ or ‘what it is like’ to be a student of color at Whitman. I wanted to share one of those perspectives and I do so now.

My life has been rather different than many others that attend Whitman. It hasn’t been all smiles, sunshine and noodle salad. But instead of complaining or whining about how I’ve had it so bad, I wanted to use my life as example of a different perspective. Take this as a way to peer into the life of another so that you can expand your understanding of experiences of others. I don’t want sympathy or pity or otherwise, this is just a semi-academic way to let you step out of your comfortable life and glimpse the world in someone else’s shoes.

I was born in the early ’80s to two unwed parents. I am the quintessential bastard. One young white mother and an older black father were my lot at birth. I was only able to keep my mother, however, because a few short years later my father, still unmarried to my mother, died of cancer.

I have one older brother, who is also black and white, who was also born out of wedlock and whose father was never in the picture. Left with two little children, my mother had to fend for her and us with little in the way of education or resources.

The feelings of my mother’s family balanced between those that accepted us because we were family but disliked people of color in general, those who disliked all people of color, and finally some that thought race didn’t really matter. As we got older, feelings toward race started to soften, but there were still a few notable standouts.

One of my mother’s older sisters lived most of her life on welfare because she had three children out of wedlock and no skills to support them, and no will to work. My mom, however, had a tremendous will to work so that she could support my brother and me. This made her a scarce commodity around our house because she worked 60 hours a week as a graveyard janitor. But she made barely enough to keep us from eating top ramen everyday (though some weeks that is exactly what we ate, with a carrot or onion thrown in).

There were even times that we had to go to the food bank to have food to eat. I can remember feeling happy when we went to food bank because they would often give us the expired donuts from the supermarket bakery. I thought that they were amazing, especially in those weeks when we didn’t have enough to eat.

I can remember that I often said, “I’m hungry, Mom,” and my mom would reply, “No you’re not, you’re Marcus!” She tried to make light of an unpleasant situation and only now looking back do I realize the poise it must have taken.

I can remember my family not having a car for a period of six years. We walked everywhere. We took the bus to the grocery store and took the bus back home. Sometimes when we didn’t have money for food and bus fare, we would carry grocery bags all the way home. Picture my mom and two young children walking two and a half miles, each of us carrying two or three grocery bags. Sometimes we didn’t have enough money to pay the electricity bill or the water bill or some other various bills and those services were shut off. I can remember one particularly cold winter when we went for a month without any heat in the house.

We shopped mostly at thrift stores out of necessity. I remember one winter, when I didn’t have a decent winter coat, I layered four or five shirts and a sweatshirt and went out around my neighborhood with a snow shovel earning money. I earned 50 dollars after a few days and bought a new big, fluffy and warm coat.

During school (early elementary on) my mom didn’t have any opportunity to sit down with us to help us with our homework. She didn’t have time to help us form good habits or to keep us doing the things that were important to success in school. We ran the streets during the day and didn’t come home until evening when we would have to cook for ourselves and put ourselves to bed. My mom worked from the time we got home from school until early in the morning, and then slept until we were already off to school.

So of course the more I got older and the more responsibility that I had to take on, the less I knew what to do. I didn’t have a father, and my mom was always working, trying to keep us fed. My school career has been an absurdity; I’ve moved back and forth between honors or ‘gifted’ classes and classes for ‘problem children.’ Inconstant is the word that best describes my school career.

By the time I got to high school I felt more and more alienated from this system that seemed to understand me less and less. Sophomore year I got depressed and stayed home from classes most days. Later, I decided that I wasn’t going back to school. They didn’t seem to have a place for someone like myself and they didn’t want to take the time to learn what I needed so that I could learn.

I went and took the GED test a few months later and scored in the 90th percentile. After that I started to work. The time between then and now has gone like a blur, but during that time I started learning on my own. I read a lot. I got books on the subjects that I never got to take in high school. Learning was a way to journey outside my dismal surroundings.

Then, two summers ago, as I lifted up the shovel I was holding to plunge it back into the earth for the 500th time that day, I thought “Eureka!” and thought, “I should go back to school.” I researched all the schools in the area and unceremoniously said I wanted to go to Whitman. A few months later I moved to Walla Walla and started going to the community college.

I had to make a sacrifice or two. For example, I had to live in the basement of an office building downtown the whole time I went to the community college. A friend of my family offered to let me stay there rent-free, and I had very little money. It didn’t have a shower, bath or kitchen, but it was the best option I had to go back to school.

I did really well at the community college and after much coaxing and a little praying, I transferred to Whitman.

This is the general story of my perspective. It is made up of my educational, class, racial and family experiences. I don’t expect that these experiences are all unique to me. I’m sure some of you have had similar experiences, be you male, female, White, Black, Latino or other. The things that happen at Whitman are seen by me through my experiences. This is the aggregate of my experiences and they are the prism that I see the world through. What does your prism look like? How could that affect our interactions?

New restaurant offers unique, local tastes

by Chelsea Gilbert
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

After asking our party of five if we had eaten at Luscious before (we hadn’t), our waiter launched into a brief spiel about the concept behind the new restaurant.

The restaurant (located on Colville and Main) is built around the idea of seasonal cooking. Only local food and beverages are served, and all of the food is organic or sustainably grown. The menu changes seven times a year in order to utilize the different foods that become ripe seasonally. The Autumn-Crush Menu, which will run through Nov. 27, is their current menu. But don’t think the theme is limited to just the menu. The walls are covered with seasonal art entitled “A Luscious Harvest” by a local artist Todd Telander.

As soon as you walk in the door, it’s clear that Luscious is not exclusively a restaurant. Loosely divided into three different areas, Luscious features a deli with a casual eating area (the food in the deli and the food served in the restaurant is made from scratch daily), a small shop that sells organic jams, kitchen products and the like, and the restaurant itself. Luscious also hosts a full cocktail bar.

The restaurant’s interior is nice, but not fancy. There are no white tablecloths here—instead, they opt for a cozy, simple feel. The décor has the (arguably) beneficial effect of making you feel, once you step through the door, that you’re no longer in Walla Walla.

The restaurant is on the smaller side, though heated patio dining is also available. On a Thursday night, we noticed that the restaurant was busy, but not crowded enough to require a reservation.

For those of you who are of legal age, the menu boasts an impressive list of intriguing cocktails. “A Pearfect Pear” is as perfect as its name implies. The sweet, light green cocktail, complete with several slices of crisp pear tastes exactly like the fruit.

At $9.23, though, these cocktails do come at a steep price.

The “Dark and Stormy” is a drink for people who can hold their liquor. Though strong, it is not deterrently so. Its citrus tang is described by the menu as a “Caribbean concoction for contemplative cowboys.”

The “Naughty Boy Scout” turned out to be entirely different from what our dinner party had expected, though, in hindsight, perhaps we should have been warned by the drink’s description: “campfire +contraband = trouble.” The drink is served hot and tastes like you are drinking, well, a campfire. It would have likely tasted better if paired with a rich dessert to offset its strong taste.

The fact that Luscious pours local wines is hardly unique in Walla Walla. Even our waiter admitted that their commitment to local vintages was a downfall, saying the nearby winery in Dayton was nothing special.

From drinks, we moved on to appetizers (called Plates to Share on the menu). The cheese & organic fruit plate included an array of thin apple and pear slices, shelled almonds, warm bread and about three different types of spreadable cheeses. The plate could probably serve about four people comfortably and was enthusiastically approved by everyone at our table.

The Autumn salads are generally satisfying enough to eat as a meal—especially if you plan to order from elsewhere on the menu. Their dressings are light enough that they don’t overshadow some of the salads’ unique flavors—augmented by beets, goat cheese, green apples and pears—and are reasonably priced at around $12 each.

Our dinner party enjoyed a number of the entrées. The “Duck a la Walla” was moist. The “Molten baby back ribs” had the right balance of sweet and salty and were, according my dining companion, comparable to the ribs at The Backstage Bistro (a local restaurant that advertises its “world famous BBQ” ad nasuem).

The menu’s meatballs had the perfect amount of spice that didn’t overwhelm the palate. Not a meatball fan myself, I even found myself enjoying the restaurant’s refined version of an old classic.

The menu has plenty of vegetarian and vegan options available. There is a vegan vegetable lasagna, and a vegetarian risotto and polenta. The portions are not huge, but they’re nowhere near meager either. An impressive list of $5 side dishes is also available if you feel the need to supplement your meal with a little something extra.

The presentation of the meals is beautiful. The food is tastefully arranged on square white plates, and somewhat resembles the presentation found at 26brix.

Ordering dessert proved to be an exercise in frustration. There was no actual dessert menu (the menu says that their desserts change daily) and so the waiter listed off their selection.

First, we ordered a slice of chocolate cake. After a few moments, our waiter came back to let us know that they were all out of chocolate cake. Disappointed, but not discouraged, we ordered the cheesecake. Turns out they were out of that. Finally, we settled on the lemon bar which the waiter guaranteed us actually existed.

Though we were prepared to not like the dessert, it was undeniably delicious. The lemon bar can easily serve 2-4 people and had a side of delicious homemade whipped cream. Because of the generous sizes, I would suggest ordering dessert to share.

Everyone was happy with their meals, but the general consensus was that the food, while very good, wasn’t quite amazing. It is Luscious’ atmosphere, unique commitment to locally grown organic foods, and availability of vegan meals that makes it really stand out amongst the slew of other Walla Walla restaurants.

Sheehan Gallery exhibit ‘Goatsilk’ explores coexistence between humans and animals

by Sarah McCarthy
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

The most recent exhibit at the Sheehan Gallery, entitled “Goatsilk,” explores the intriguing question of how animals and humans will continue to co-exist in an increasingly technological age.

Two of the artists, Ben Bloch and Caroline Peters, were inspired by a “New York Times” article that explained how scientists were researching a way to mass produce spider silk for human consumption. The work that deals most directly with this question is “Portraits From an Ark,” a digital media piece which shows 55 participants getting their faces painted like different animals. Visitors to the exhibit say an animal’s name (anything from “sheep” to “blowfish”) into a voice-activated microphone and a one minute video begins to play. The participants look decidedly uncomfortable as a mysterious hand pokes and brushes their faces with thick paint, but become more relaxed and begin to imitate the actions of “their” animal, once it’s reavealed what creature they’re meant to resemble. The piece, Bloch and Peters write, “… reminds viewers that the act of becoming requires acquiescence and abandonment.”

Another intriguing piece, “Nexting,” is compromised of short film clips from the MTV dating show “Next.” The show usually involves a contestant and five “daters.” When the “dater” begins to bore or annoy the contestant, the contestant says “next!” and another dater is sent in to finish the date. The piece, then, is comprised of six-second clips which show the “daters” delivering a snide remark to the contestant who has rejected them. After they have finished their line, their faces are distorted into a large and exaggerated caricature of themselves. As the artists write, “Besides being humorous, these distortions give a glimpse of the oft repressed horror that results from being ‘discovered’ and then rejected.” Anyone who is disillusioned with the self-centered cattiness of reality TV is sure to enjoy this work.

Other works include “Pressing the Vessel,” which shows a mouse in its last few minutes of life the paired with the voice-over of an evangelical sermon. The piece is meant to address “the moat between our idea that life is sacred, and the isolation that seemingly takes over at the end of life.”

These pieces, along with six others, will be in the Sheehan Gallery until Dec. 8

‘Hard Candy’ portrays shocking storyline

by Erin Salvi
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

I’m not sure that I have ever felt more uncomfortable for 105 minutes straight than when I watched “Hard Candy.” In a good way.

Directed by David Slade, and recently released on DVD, this film will have you squirming in your seat. Still, you won’t be able to look away for a moment—which is a pretty impressive feat for a film that essentially has only two characters and a single setting. Promoted as a drama/thriller, it’s difficult to pin down exactly which genre this movie belongs to, as it is rather unlike any drama or thriller I have ever encountered.

The film begins when a 14-year old girl and a 32-year old photographer who have been chatting on the Internet for three weeks decide to get together in person—already a cause for concern for the viewer. At a coffee shop, they hit it off in person just as much as they did online, and sexual innuendoes begin to crop up on both sides of the conversation. Hayley (Ellen Page) and Jeff (Patrick Wilson) soon decide that they should go back to his place to get to know each other a little better.

Cue the “Lolita”-like plot to take over, right? But it doesn’t. At least, not exactly. While the audience has been tricked into assuming that Jeff is the one with the power in this situation, as he is much older and supposedly more mature, the seemingly vulnerable and naive Hayley has been making plans of her own. Taking Jeff entirely by surprise, she gains complete control in a game of cat and mouse that grows more and more horrifying by the minute and takes the film in a direction far away from that which the beginning seemed to promise.

The script of this film is, in itself, quite a piece of work. It delves into a number of different psychological issues, including what the appeal is of meeting people over the internet and how far someone will go to fulfill a vendetta against another person. Despite the extreme circumstances, the dialogue feels natural, though this may be due in part to the excellent delivery of the actors. Page and Wilson capture these unbalanced characters to perfection. Page’s wide-eyed, innocent face creates an excellent contrast to the vindictive, manipulative young girl Hayley proves herself to be, and Wilson’s transition from a reserved pedophile to a terrified victim is seamless.

Slade’s camerawork also assists in adding to the general uneasy feeling of the film. Close-up shots of the actors’ faces and purposely unsteady, swirling shots of the house help to confuse the viewer as much as the strange and terrifying interactions between Hayley and Jeff do. But this confusion carries a little too much of the film, even to the very end, and the purpose of the movie is difficult to pin down. It implies that it deals with pedophilia, when in fact it is dealing with one girl’s idea of what should be done to pedophiles, which is complicated by the fact that the girl is herself a very disturbed human being. Still, the film is provocative and gripping, and worth watching if only to see Page give such a brutal, masterful performance. Just don’t watch it alone, because this candy is anything but sweet.

Walla Walla gets scary for Halloween weekend

by Andrea Miller
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

North Haunted House

Roaring chainsaws, an inverted William Shatner mask famously known as the face of Michael Myers and a jaunty but horrifying clown—these are the bare essentials for all entertainment but especially entertainment in the forms of haunted houses or corn mazes.

The annual North Hall Haunted Hospital opened its doors for just three hours on the night of Oct. 28. Admission was a suggested donation of $3 or cans of food, the proceeds from which are going to Save Wonderful Animals Team (S.W.A.T.) and Helpline.

S.W.A.T. is a program that provides animals with foster home care instead of the standard shelter care; the program relies on “volunteers [to] coordinate local resources to take care of immediate/emergency crises.” Helpline provides the community with emergency social services.

According to junior Jesse Lord, RA of North Hall, there were 50 to 60 people involved in the haunting, including tour guides. Lord said that the number of actors who came to help pleased him.

According to Lord, group leaders organized plans for a theme of each floor; the fourth floor was the burn unit, the third was the delivery/operating room, the second was the psychiatric ward, and the basement held the gory kitchen and a funeral procession.

“Gore is really important in everyone’s life,” said junior Kate Rosenberg, an actor for the Haunted Hospital. Rosenberg and a motley crew of friends cooked up shock and fear in the Gory Kitchen.

On the menu for the evening: Rosenberg intended to give the visitors’ “tear ducts some exercise.” She said it was necessary to have the “morbid on your mind for a solid three days prior” to the hours spent shocking and frightening visitors in the hospital.

Rosenberg said she counted “on the inspiration of the divine” to help her be the goriest kitchen cook possible.

Walla Walla Corn Maze

The Walla Walla Corn Maze opened its stalks in the middle of September and remained open for business through Halloween Day.

From Oct. 26 to 31, the maze was “scary.” Admittance to the maze cost visitors $6 and possibly their voices if they were prone to screaming in frightening situations. During the scary session of the maze, there were about 15 to 20 people lurking in the corn stalks frightening maze-goers.

According to the concession staff, it takes one week to stake and cut the maze. Someone creates a design, draws it on graph paper, stakes it out in the field and cuts the pattern out on riding mowers when the corn is about knee high.

Juniors Katie Avery and Hayley Hillman said that it took them and their friends about 45 minutes to find their way through the maze. Avery noted the difficulty in navigating a successful path because “it was hard to stay focused on the maze and what was coming next.”

The large numbers of people apparently detracted from the intended fear of the ghouls in the corn. Junior Beth David said that “the fact that it was so crowded made it not as scary.”

Junior Kramer Phillips claimed he “was brave, so [he] was not scared,” but friends recalled him jumping five feet into the air and screaming as a man behind bars greeted him and also heard him squealing in a high-pitched voice “Where’s my group?!” after having escaped Michael Myers.

The cruxes of the maze were back-to-back encounters with Jason with his chainsaw and Michael Myers with his enormous knife.

The sounds of the chainsaw roaring over the synthesized version of the Michael Myers theme were more than enough to completely frighten any visitor. (Except for the twelve-year-old who whined, “This sucks.”)

Tully redefines imperialism

by Lizzie Norgard
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

“Is there a form of imperialism still in existence in the present, even though we passed through decolonization in the mid-20th century?” James Tully, Distinguished Professor of Political Science, Law, Indigenous Governance and Philosophy at the University of Victoria, addressed this question in his Oct. 26 lecture “On Imperialism.”

Tully argued that contemporary imperialism does exist but that it has taken place only “informally” since Western decolonization. He traced the history of informal imperialism to well before the Cold War, when Western powers began to establish newly exploitative relationships with formerly colonized nations.

Tully pointed to several reasons explaining why many people remain unaware of contemporary imperialism. He said that “the languages we use to describe the global order…tend to obscure the imperial features of the present.”

These languages include terms such as “globalization,” “democratization,” “modernization” and “development;” all of which were used by 19th century theorists to describe and justify formal imperialism and European expansion. Lacking that context, we use these terms unaware of their imperialist implications.

Tully also said that even contemporary critics of “new” Western imperialism, who fancy themselves “anti-imperialist,” in fact advocate a version of informal imperialism.

Critics of the “new imperialism” oppose its unilateralism, disregard for international law and preemptive military intervention. Instead, they recommend multilateralism, adherence to international law and democratization.

Tully mentioned two “wings” of imperialism that mirror this opposition, originally corresponding to the policies of Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson.

Unlike colonial imperialism, informal imperialism “permits self-rule, and eventual self-determination, within a wider protectorate or sphere of influence, while…inducing them to open their resources, labor and markets to free trade by establishing the necessary legal and political forms themselves…. You have imperial rule, but you allow local liberty.”

Dominated nations may be formally autonomous, and their relationship to formerly colonial powers may be “interactive,” but economic and military inequalities perpetuate the imperialist relationship. Imperialism can therefore work beneath the guises of multilateralism and democracy.

Tully said that informal means of imperialism include “recognition of quasi-sovereignty, unequal treaties, economic and military aid and dependency, civilization of natives by voluntary and religious organizations and Western legal, political, economic and military experts, and finally threats of military intervention if all else fails.”

Informal imperialism has historically followed colonial rule and prolonged Western hegemony over formally sovereign nations; Tully mentioned the 19th century British domination of Latin America as an example. He said that informal imperialism has also historically been called “free trade” and “open door” imperialism.

When asked by a student if imperialism is inevitable, Tully affirmed the concrete existence of pluralism. He said that “alternative civilizations persist beyond the reach of the West,” and that moving beyond imperialism would mean supporting the actual existence of these systems.

Tully said that although people say that another world is possible, “there is a stronger sense in which another world is actual.”

Film examines intersection of sexuality, faith

by Caitlin Tortorici
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

On Oct. 24 in Kimball Theater, Professor Melissa Wilcox presented her documentary, “Each of Us: A Documentary on Religion, Gender and Sexuality.” The film included interviews with six people of various sexualities, ethnicities and religious backgrounds in order to explore how these facets of identity intersect with religious beliefs and practices.

“The goal of the project was to see where the women were and what they were doing and why,” said Wilcox, who began her study after noting the dominating male population in GLBTQ religious organizations.

Wilcox sought to create a film that focused on women’s spirituality outside of traditional religion. “There are great films about what it is to be Jewish and queer, said Wilcox. “There are few films about what it means to be Christian and queer. There’s a film coming out now about how to be Muslim and queer, but there’s nothing asking, ‘What if it’s not so simple? What if you’re not just Christian, or not just Jewish, or not just Muslim?’”

Wilcox found Los Angeles a convenient and appropriate place to conduct her research. “I needed a large community, so that would be essentially it. L.A. is also interesting for a project like this because it is where the majority of LGBT religious movements were founded,” said Wilcox.

Of 29 people interviewed, Wilcox chose six whose stories best represented the religious diversity of the city. With the help of editors Rich Jones and Morgan Ross, Wilcox narrowed 40 hours of footage down to one.

New to the film scene, Wilcox apparently shot the film in the “wrong format.” Nevertheless, she hopes it will make television and the American Academy of Religion Film Festival.

For those interested in exploring women’s religion further, Wilcox recommended Karen McCarthy Brown’s “Mama Lola” and Joseph Murphy’s “Working the Spirit.”

Conchas to discuss minority dropout rates

by Marcus Koontz
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

On Monday, Nov. 6, Professor Gilberto Q. Conchas of the University of California, Irvine will present the results of his career-long research into socio-cultural processes within the school context.

Latino youth make up around 30 percent of the Walla Walla school district–and number that will only grow in the coming years, as the local Latino population grows. High school success is elusive to minorities, and to Latinos in particular, in the nation’s current school model.

According to Jay P. Greene, Ph.D. of The Manhattan Institute for Policy Research, the national high school graduation rate for Blacks and Latinos is around 50 percent, whereas it is around 75 percent for White students. This abysmal disparity raises the question: Do we want our schools to be successful at educating only some of our children?

Professor Conchas has been studying how students of color can succeed in our school systems. His recently published book “The Color of Success: Race and High-Achieving Urban Youth” uses a mixed methodology, part case study and part quantitative, to determine why some students of color succeed in school.

A recent book review by Grace Chiu in the UCLA Journal of Education and Information Studies said, “Conchas goes beyond conventional accounts of school failure and the lone superstar teacher and provides fresh insight into the cultural processes and structural forces that contribute to the high achievement of Black, Latino and Vietnamese high school students.”

Associate Director of Academic Resources Carole Hsiao was instrumental in bringing Conchas to campus for this lecture. Hsiao knows Conchas from a graduate school class she took from him at Harvard.

“One of the reasons a visit by Professor Conchas seemed apt is that the Latino population in Walla Walla is growing,” said Hsiao. “I thought that some of his messages about minority students’ success would be inspiring for those in the community.”

Hsiao says that Conchas’ message is different in “that he focuses on the positive side of the situation [and that is] important to [this] field.” Hsiao thinks that Conchas is unusual because “he is a proponent of allowing the student voice to be heard [and] he gives examples across racial lines to demonstrate his findings.”

When asked to comment on how this lecture might affect the recent debate about the ‘blackface’ incident, Hsiao said, “It was planned before recent campus events. I see that it will reinforce the idea that all sorts of people can succeed in the educational realm. [Conchas’] background dispels some of the misconceptions people can have about certain groups.”

When asked about how this lecture might affect recent debates about race, diversity and admissions here at Whitman, Hsiao said, “There is the potential for this talk to focus our attention on the ways that minorities can benefit an institution in an intellectual sense. The common misnomer can be that minorities are admitted to an institution for their affirmative action value rather than their intellectual contribution. There are many reasons that this talk and other work like it can give an institution like ours a sense of hope and understanding.”

The lecture will be held Monday, Oct. 6 at 7 p.m. in Maxey Auditorium.

Prentiss hosts annual Vegetarian Day

by Christina Russell
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

Last Wednesday marked Whitman’s annual Vegetarian Day, an event coordinated by Action For Animals in partnership with Prentiss Dining Hall.

For one entire day, all three meals in Prentiss were cooked entirely without meat products, many without using any animal products (such as egg or dairy) as well, in order to raise awareness for the animal and environmental abuses that are committed in the animal-food industry.

The event is intended to “show people how easy it is to have a well-balanced diet that is also plant-based,” said Action for Animals President Suzanne Zitzer.

Literature was displayed for students upon entering the dining hall, in order to garner an understanding for the implications of their decisions to eat meat, dairy, and egg products. Pamphlets from People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and Veg For Life: A Farm Sanctuary Campaign addressed issues like animal abuses in factory farms, the lack of regulation of free-range labels on products from the poultry industry, ways to consume enough protein while still being vegetarian or vegan and a political campaign to support an excise tax on meat.

In general, there was support for the day, even from those who weren’t vegetarian.

“It’s good to be in an environment where if you want to be a vegetarian you can,” said first-year Nadim Damluji.

First-year Emma Burghart agreed, saying, “I feel like I’ve thought about the issue before. It is a good thing; I’m supportive of it even though I personally eat meat.”

Those who had already made the choice to convert to a vegetable-based diet were excited. “I think it’s important for there to be a day where people question what they eat and also a chance for people to learn about what they are actually putting inside their body. I would wager that most people don’t actually know how the meat industry works, the conditions under which it operates,” said first-year vegetarian Ian Jagel.

In response to whether Action for Animals received any negative feedback, Zitzer said, “There are always people that say things like ‘Well, I like meat and therefore I won’t try’ or ‘I don’t see a need to because I like the way I eat now.’ People have tried to make it seem like we are forcing them to eat vegetarian, even though it is just the one dining hall, just an exploratory thing. We want people to know that these foods are out there, maybe just understand a bit more about people who eat vegetable-based diets.” Why is Zitzer a vegetarian? “I love fruits and vegetables. Being able to eat a large salad, it makes me happy. I feel cleaner in a way.”

While this event does happen every year, this season Zitzer specified that Action for Animals is interested in promoting the environmental reasons for consider vegetarianism. “We feel that is a way that we can reach the most people,” said Zitzer. “I know a lot of the students here at Whitman are very environmentally aware. One of the best ways to help out the environment is to not eat meat, because its production is harmful.”

Zitzer’s advice for those inspired to re-evaluate their diet is to access web resources, like www.vegweb.com and to do it gradually, “so that you don’t feel like you are depriving yourself.”

In addition to advocating the consumption of a plant-based diet, Action for Animals supports locally grown produce. Zitzer encourages students to “enjoy the fall harvest!”

Graduate schools for international affairs seek Whitman applicants

While graduate schools look for applicants with real-world experience, students ask: ‘What am I going to do after I graduate?’
by Andrea Miller
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

“So what’s next?” is a common question asked to the liberal arts student. For some, the answer might include further education pursuing “skills necessary to develop policy and become strong and effective leaders.”

On Oct. 25, the Career Center hosted an International Affairs Graduate Program information session. Representatives from five schools on a tour of the Northwest each gave a short description of their program and then answered questions from students.

Represented schools included the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs, the Public Policy and International Affairs (PPIA) Junior Summer Institute at Princeton University, the Fletcher School at Tufts University, the School of Foreign Service at Georgetown University, the School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS) at Johns Hopkins University, and the School of International and Public Affairs at Columbia University.

The Fletcher School and SAIS are both “stand alone schools,” meaning that their campuses are totally separate from the other schools and programs at their respective universities.

SAIS has campuses in Washington, D.C., Bologna, Italy—which is a smaller extension of the DC campus—and in Nanjing, China. All of the schools boast strong programs that can be developed into joint degrees and will definitely prepare students for a career in their respective fields.

Upon a student’s question about the ideal applicant, all five representatives strongly emphasized the importance of professional work experience. The representative from the Woodrow Wilson School, John Templeton, said that work experience in any sector is good “as long as [the student] shows progression in full time work.” He stressed that applicants must show that they are truly prepared for the graduate school experience and advised students to take the GRE and build relationships with people who would be willing to write letters of reference.

For more information about international affairs programs, go to www.apsia.org or visit the Whitman College Career Center.

‘Town hall’ meeting deals with issues of race relations

by Christina Russell
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

“The problem of the twentieth century is the problem of the color line,” wrote W.E.B Dubois in 1901. In an effort to address this problem here in the twenty-first century at Whitman, a “town hall” style meeting was held on race relations last Sunday in Cordiner Hall.

President Bridges began the evening by making a few remarks about the nature of race relations in America at large and how, as he put it, “the effects of the color line are everywhere.”

He then introduced Dr. Victor Chacon, the director of Multicultural services at Walla Walla Community College, who served as the moderator for the night’s discussion. When Chacon first invited people to line up at the microphones, no one moved, but soon one brave student asked a question and the meeting was underway.

The discussion focused first on whether or not it was possible to have the discussion in a way that didn’t make white students on the campus feel defensive. A senior named Paul suggested that it is important to separate the person from the action and that just because the action might have been racially insensitive or offensive doesn’t mean that the person is a “racist.”

Professor Julia Davis agreed and suggested that students here try to advance beyond the gut reaction of “I am not a racist” because such a response doesn’t actually advance the conversation in a productive way. In letting go of that initial response, Professor Davis said, students can actually step back and listen to their own language and discover what might be offensive rather than just assuming that because they didn’t have a racist intent that what they said was OK.

Another primary issue addressed was the divide between students who feel that they don’t have to “live race in everyday life” and those who unavoidably do. Senior Bevin Hall stated that as a white student at Whitman, she works to be aware and responsible for the privileges bestowed upon her as a white member of society and encouraged her fellow students to do the same.

Natalie Knott talked about how the most difficult part of being any kind of minority is dealing day in and day out with the little things, not the big issues.

Another student shared that she feels particular pressures to succeed as an African-American student at the school because of the unfortunate stereotype that people from her background always do poorly in college.

Though student response to the forum was generally positive, some expressed frustration about certain aspects. Sophomore Chloe Tirabasso questioned why there is a forum on this particular issue of race when there has been no forum to address the other –isms, particularly the debate that occurred last spring about the Bible passages put in students’ mailboxes.

One junior said that she had hoped the meeting would include a summary regarding the theme of the function and the actual actions of the two boys involved to clear up any confusion about what actually happened. She felt, also, that the moderator was too intent on bringing the discussion back to the “blackface” incident rather than moving it into a larger discussion about race at Whitman.

Hall reiterated what many other faculty members have said: that this forum is only the first step. It is a dialogue that both the administration and many students hope to continue throughout the remainder of the year.

Lazaro Carrion crowned this year’s Mr. Whitman

Event earns an impressive $7,224 for charity
by Caitlin Tortorici
WHITMAN COLLEGE PIONEER

Kappa Kappa Gamma’s biggest annual philanthropy event, the Mr. Whitman Pageant, pleased crowds on Friday, Oct. 27 in Cordiner Hall.

Under the judgment of professors U.J. Sofia, Melissa Clearfield, Kendra Golden, and Jeff Northam, fraternity members Nich Weinheimer (Beta Theta Pi), Rob Munday (Sigma Chi), Lazaro Carrion (Phi Delta Theta), Kyle Born–posing as “Borat”–(Tau Kappa Epsilon), and independents David Ozog, Dru Johnston, Tyler Kohlhoff and Matt Jenkens competed for the Mr. Whitman title.

Masters of Ceremony Sarah Beth Roberts and Renee Thibodeau carried the show as the eight contestants showcased their talents and modeling capabilities in the categories of formal and swimwear.

Prior to the competition, with the exception of “Borat” who expressed his desire to “crush all men in contest,” competitors felt more honor than competition. “I think Mr. Whitman is a unique opportunity for Whitman to coalesce into a united group to raise a lot of money for a great cause,” said Weinheimer. “It is an entertaining event, but at the same time, it is a legitimate fundraiser for kids who need support. The money for the kids is the only vote you need.”

David Ozog expressed similar sentiments: “I don’t think I’d like to be Mr. Whitman, to be perfectly honest,” said Ozog. “I only accepted the offer because the money I collect is going towards a very good cause, and the pageant should be a lot of fun!”
None can argue against the charity of the cause. KKG is working in collaboration with Whitman senior Egan Brinkman, who helped establish the Mboya Unit for the Cerebral Palsied in Mombasa, Kenya in 1995. Since its establishment, the unit’s student population has increased from six to 53. The money raised will help provide more educational resources for the growing organization.

When all was said, modeled, sung, danced and done, Lazaro Carrion took home the Mr. Whitman sash. Born/“Borat” was first runner up.

Carrion earned over $1,000 in his campaign, and high praise for his performance.

The “smooth talker” (so-called by MC Roberts) was off to a strong start, earning perfect scores from the judges with his quick wit and revealing outfits. Students and judges alike were equally wowed with his stand-up comedy routine.

“Lazaro’s comedy sketch was great,” said sophomore Megan Duffy. “He gave a unique perspective that you don’t hear much around here.”

Several students argued Born/“Borat” put on an equally amusing performance. “The accent was perfectly maintained throughout the contest,” said sophomore Dan Cryster. “The Kazikhstan national anthem was surprisingly entertaining.”

“I liked his interaction with the crowd,” said Becky Avila.

The dialogue did not end at the top two:

“I thought Dru’s skit was the highlight of the show,” said junior Kaitlin Phillips. “He managed to make everyone laugh without making them uncomfortable.”

“I was just pissed off that guy didn’t actually show us his PowerPoint presentation,” said first-year Matthew Beckett, referring Matt Jenkins’ decision to showcase a self-written song instead of a PowerPoint presentation on how to orally please a woman.

Students found the intermission equally entertaining. “I thought the Sirens gave a great intermission—much needed respite from the zaniness that was the show,” said sophomore Travis Meyers.

“I don’t know what the dance team does for the rest of the year, but I always look forward to watching them perform at Mr. Whitman,” said junior John Stewart.

Some students criticized the judges’ decisions. “I think that some of the scoring was whack,” said sophomore Julia Nelson. “They should have done it with more judges.”

Nevertheless, most were able to overlook injustices and enjoy the show. “I thought that Mr. Whitman was very easy to sit through because each of the guys had such different personalities and each performance was original,” said sophomore Seren Pendleton-Knoll. “And Lazaro Carrion was pretty darn sexy!”

The competitors left the event with a high morale. “I really liked bonding with those boys—I wasn’t expecting to,” said Tyler Kohlhoff.

Things are looking up for the Mboya as well. Due to unaccounted for ticket sales, the event earned considerably more than what was announced at the end of the show. The final total was an impressive $7,224.39.