Dru Johnston

A senior at Whitman College and a former Webelo, Dru D. Johnston was unfortunately killed by facebook due to Mark Zuckerburg’s new added “Kill!” feature. In his last moments Dru wanted to express that he is not angry at Zuckerburg, and that this new feature is probably for the best and he knows that the public will eventually get used to it, much like the newsfeed. No one is quite sure how Facebook managed to kill an actual person, but rumor has it that his computer brutally beat him to death. The binary bruises support this claim.

During his time at Whitman, Dru was normally very confused. Friends will remember his ineptness and his inablilty to use things like toasters always let his “friends” laugh at his expense. We only use the quotation marks because he had few friends.

You can find his picture in the dictionary right next to the word: “Dru.”

Dru will be remembered by his extended family, his cat Snowtiger, and his collection of little porcelain bears. He has a lot of them, one for every season, one for every month and one for almost every emotion you can think of. His favorite was “Furious Bear” but it was only slightly more loved than his second favorite: “Bi-Curious Bear.”

He will also be remembered by God, because that is who is going to be with for the rest of his spiritual life. He will be in heaven. There he will enjoy his time shooting hoops with Magic Johnson and playing football with Gandhi. Heaven is the best place ever, and no one should feel sorry because he is in Heaven, the Florida of the afterlife.

A wake will occur for him on Friday in Kimball. There will be beer.

Students opt for varied summer internships

Working with a favorite writer from a favorite magazine, following the research of a Nobel Prize winner and hiking through the Alaskan wilderness: these are but a few experiences that internships have offered the students of Whitman.

Brett Addis, a sophomore Biology/environmental Studies major, applied for an internship with the National Science Foundation and was accepted to do work based out of Juneau this summer. “Brief projects I’ll be working on are studying the migration patterns and genetic flow of Boreal toads, a pilot study of the forest canopy and studying the costal estuaries and the river otters that live there,” said Addis.

Addis grew up hiking and camping in western Montana, but claims she has never done outdoor activities as intensely as she will this summer. The internship offers Addis mostly field research. “It’s an opportunity to get out there and actually participate in a real research project; I don’t really have the opportunity to do that at Whitman,” said Addis. Addis has tentative career plans to be a field biologist. “I want to dip my toes in the water and see if I like it,” Addis said.

Sophomore Melissa Andreas is headed to her hometown of Corvallis this summer to work on an internship she found through Oregon State University. “The program is meant to encourage undergraduates specifically to do internships,” said Andreas.

The project Andreas will be working on is an extension of the research that won last year’s Nobel Prize in biology.

“This is absolute cutting-edge stuff,” said Andreas. The research is on how plants respond to viruses and what genes are involved in the process. “It’s about how viruses and plants do the dance of death,” said Andreas.

The internship gives Andreas the chance to stay with one project from start to finish, similar to work done in graduate school. A recently declared biology major, Andreas is looking forward to the impact this will have on her future in regards to science. “I’m pretty psyched about it,” Andreas said.

Sophie Johnson, junior and editor-in-chief of the Pioneer, was recently accepted as a summer intern at The Nation magazine in New York City.

While working in Chicago last fall, Johnson discovered that The Nation offers internships and decided there was no harm in applying.

After a nightmare of calling to find out that The Nation had not received her application and a mad dash to resend her application materials that very night, Johnson was reviewed and accepted as an intern at The Nation. “I couldn’t believe it,” said Johnson.

Knowing that this particular internship was highly competitive, Johnson already had a summer job lined up in her home town of Portland. “I was hoping to work at the Willamette Week,” she said.

Forty percent of the internship at The Nation is made up of duties such as photocopying and helping with other desk work. The majority, however, involves working with her favorite writer for The Nation for the duration of the summer. Johnson hopes to choose to work with either Patricia J. Williams, who writes about race and rights, or Eric Alterman, who writes about liberal media.
The Nation will provide Johnson with a weekly monetary stipend.

“This is like the ultimate summer internship for me. I think I will basically die from happiness when I get there,” Johnson said.

Teal and Josh talk summer movies: Summer flips and flops

With summer comes lemonade, bikinis and, of course, the inevitable summer blockbusters. Through the hustle and bustle of summer madness, it is difficult to know which flicks to anticipate and which to stay far, far away from. Luckily, we are here to help. Use this guide of upcoming summer films to guide you when you find yourself trying to beat the heat in a nice, air-conditioned theatre.

Delta Farce (May 11)
Boris: I would rather be shipped to Iraq than watch a movie where Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and DJ Qualls are shipped to Iraq.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (May 25)
Boris: I haven’t really heard anything about this movie, though supposedly it’s based on two obscure prequels. Pirates are so 1692, so it’s probably a good bet to stay away from this snoozer.

Day Watch (June 1)
Greyhavens: The preview for this Russian movie from “visionary director” Timur Bekmambetoc is somewhere along the lines of “300”: even if the movie sucks, we’ll be dazzled. Subtitles probably won’t mesh well with a visual style that looks like “The Matrix” mixed with “Kingdom of Heaven,” and talk of “the chalk of fate” seems laughable, but the bevy of stunts––including a hilarious sequence in which someone drives a Ferrari sideways across a building––look to make this a worthwhile stop.

Paprika (June 1 in Los Angeles)
Boris: This psychedelic film involves a team of scientists entering the dreams of patients to ascertain who stole an important device. While the anime style may be off-putting for some, the trailer is spectacular. At the least this film will be a fascinating look at the subconscious underpinnings of life and will display some disturbing and bizarre scenes, but I think it could easily become a classic years down the road.

Hostel 2 (June 8)
Boris: Why?

Fido (June 15)
Greyhavens: Probably the most delightfully unexpected preview out there right now: in a charming, pastoral Canadian town, people rise from their coffins as the undead––so they can be maids and servants for the townsfolk. Without giving away an inkling of plot, the delightfully deadpan preview shows a mix of zombie horror and quaint humor somewhere between “Night of the Living Dead” and “The Stepford Wives.” The tag line is “laugh your head off.”

Black Sheep (June 22)
Boris: Another great-looking film hailing from New Zealand. Sheep outnumber people by an obscene amount in New Zealand, so it’s only natural that a Kiwi would contrive a film in which mutant zombie sheep run amok through the country. Judging by some of the humor I saw down there, this black comedy has the potential to be hilarious.

Evan Almighty (June 22)
Greyhavens: What a delightful surprise it is for the folks in the sequel business when a bit player in a hit film goes on to become a star big enough to support his own movie. Steve Carrell, who played Jim Carrey’s rival newscaster in the underrated “Bruce Almighty” and then found fame with “The 40-year-old Virgin,” is the next to be contacted by Morgan Freeman, a.k.a. God, in this part two. Charged with building an ark, Carrell will undoubtedly go through the usual trials and tribulations (like a beard that insists on growing fast enough to make him look like a certain other ark-builder) on his way to discovering the true meaning of his task; with any luck, director Tom Shadyac, who brought good-natured humor not only to “Bruce” but “Liar Liar,” “The Nutty Professor” and the original “Ace Ventura” will make things entertaining along the way.

A Mighty Heart (June 22)
Greyhavens: Angelina Jolie, in her continuing mission to prove that movies can be more than escapism (or is she just trying to make up for “Tomb Raider?”), stars in this examination of the real-life kidnapping of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl in Pakistan in 2002. Based on the book written by Pearl’s wife, and shot in a grainy, jerky, vérité style, this could either be a harrowing, eye-opening and thoughtful experience, or just harrowing. In the vein of “The Constant Gardener” and “The Last King of Scotland,” it will undoubtedly not be much fun, but the real question is whether it will have something worthwhile to say.

September Dawn (June 22)
Greyhavens: This one may not be very good (what has Jon Voight done in the past ten years anyway?), but it has something to do with Mormons, the massacre of 120 people, and a lot of historical cover-ups back in the late 19th century, so it ought to at least cause a commendable flurry of protests from the requisite religious groups on either side. Some guy who’s been in a lot of T.V. movies plays Joseph Smith.

Live Free or Die Hard (June 27)
Greyhavens: This #4 is almost enough to make me forgive them for the new Indiana Jones movie. The trailers, appropriately, wait to show Bruce Willis’ grizzled mug until about halfway through, so that you realize––oh, shit, THAT’s what this preview is!––just how much more bad-ass he is than the police, the SWAT team and whatever international terrorists have just been shown. At 52, Willis doesn’t seem any less able to kick butt than he was 20 years ago and good thing, because America seems to be hip-deep in thickly-accented megalomaniacs. Too bad Alan Rickman probably won’t be making an appearance. Best bonus: Willis’ new sidekick is that scrappy kid from the Mac vs. PC commercials.
Boris: Live free or die hard. Those are some pretty heavy options. Personally, I think I’ll choose live free, though I’m pretty sure the movie will be chock full of people dying hard.

Eagle vs. Shark (June 29)
Boris: I had the good fortune to see the short this movie is based on while studying abroad in New Zealand. It should be noted that while the film involves the romance between two socially awkward store clerks; the original short by director Taika Waititi starred two small children. Why this should be mentioned is because in the short Waititi showed a great understanding for that fine line between awkward and touching that is superbly caught in a relationship between adolescents. “Eagle vs. Shark” looks like it hits on some of the misfit jokes that made “Napoleon Dynamite” a hit, but also exhibits a heartwarming touch that was absent from “Dynamite.”

Transformers (July 6)
Boris: As easy as it is to rip into Michael Bay, it should be said that he can certainly direct some kickass action scenes. While his romance scenes are painfully stilted (think “Pearl Harbor” or “Armageddon”) and his dialogue concerning honor and duty is laughable (think all of his movies), robots feel neither romance nor honor and only destroy shit. As long as the dialogue given to Shia LeBeouf is minimal and the dialogue given to John Turturro is the rest of the movie, I have high hopes for this one.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (July 13)
Greyhavens: Some people might care that this little arthouse bonbon is coming out. I don’t really.

Interview(July 13)
Greyhavens: I know little to nothing about this movie save that it’s directed by Steve Buscemi, stars Steve Buscemi, and is about two people who are closed up slowly opening to each other. Buscemi plays a reporter who follows a glitzy Hollywood actress around for an evening and if his twitchy charm doesn’t get to her it will undoubtedly get to us. There’s pretty much nobody in the movies these days more likeable, or worth watching, than Steve Buscemi, so mark this one on the calendar even if, at present, it’s only a title.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (July 2)
Boris: Because awkward homophobic humor is all the rage right now. This could be a great way to present some social commentary on the difficulties facing gay marriage and adoption, but it will probably involve a lot of “uncomfortable” man-on-man makeouts and a furthering of gay stereotypes. Watch all the good work from “Brokeback Mountain” wash down the drain. Hollywood is progressive my ass.

Skinwalkers (July 27)
Boris: I’ve always wanted to be the prize in a fight between two tribes of werewolves. Since werewolves obviously find me uninteresting, watching this happen vicariously is the next best thing.
Greyhavens: This just looks unpleasant. Cool poster though.

The Simpsons Movie (July 27)
Boris: While some people may disagree with me, I don’t think the Simpsons have been funny for about ten years. Back in their heyday this movie was an oft-mentioned wish for many Simpson fans, but now it seems like the creators are trying to cash in on a dying franchise. The fact that rumors have floated around that Bart will show full-frontal nudity only confirms my suspicions. Really, who wants to see that?

Greyhavens: Let’s just pray they don’t screw this up. Some say the T.V. show has been dead for a while now, so this is either the thing that will kill it for good or the thing that could resurrect it. My guess is it will be a home-run, since the series has always had a keen eye for the cinematic, and nothing shows off what is so sublimely funny about “The Simpsons” like Homer’s gag with the hammer on the roof in the newest preview. It’s all about anticipation, and … the unexpected!

Rush Hour 3 (August 10)
Greyhavens: Am I the only one that thought these movies were great? Bring it on!

Superbad (August 17)
Boris: Whether this movie is good or bad, some lazy film critic is going to use the title or a derivative of the title in a review. Michael Cera has endeared himself to many a fan of “Arrested Development” as super awkward George Michael, so a movie where Cera plays a super awkward youth trying to get himself and his best friend laid before school is out sounds promising. Although this has certainly been done before (“American Pie” for example), from what I’ve seen and heard I have high hopes that “Superbad” will be supergood (italics to show how clever I am).

Penelope (August 17)
Greyhavens: A modern-ish fairy tale about an unfortunate princess born with a pig’s snout, the public’s horrified/fascinated relationship with her, and the one boy who doesn’t run away. Sounds like the makings of a hackneyed disaster, but if Christina Ricci has taught us one thing, it’s that she’s not stupid and this story probably won’t be either.

Wristcutters: A Love Story (August 31)
Greyhavens: With the most attention-getting title of the summer and a preview that says nothing and quite a bit at the same time, this one could turn out to be just about anything. Set in a strange sort of way station in the afterlife reserved for people who have committed suicide, it’s the story of a boy named Zia who tries to find a girl named Desiree and figure out what this non-life is all about. Widespread critical acclaim and an older Patrick Fugit, the star of “Almost Famous,” suggest this teen-romance-black-comedy-surreal-road-trip-movie will be worth a look.

The Nanny Diaries (September 7)
Boris: This movie was shitty when it was called “Uptown Girls.”

Trade (September 7)
Greyhavens: Somewhere between “Babel” and “Traffic,” the preview for this murky exploration of modern slavery and kidnapping cranks the wailing soundtrack up to 10 and threatens to overload on “Crash”-style syrup, but that’s not to say that the movie itself might not turn out to be really important and thrillingly-made to boot––after all, it’s the first outing from director Roland Emmerich (“Independence Day,” “Godzilla,” “The Day After Tomorrow”) where he doesn’t blow up a city. Keep a watch out for critical reactions around late August.

Sunshine (September 14)
Boris: While the premise sounds a little thin (astronauts go to jumpstart THE SUN because it’s dying), Danny Boyle has shown himself to be a great director (“Trainspotting” and “28 Days Later” come to mind). The visuals in the trailer look spectacular and the thought of astronauts going slowly insane the closer they get to finishing their goal sounds intriguing.

National Treasure (December 21)
Boris: Okay, this movie isn’t actually coming out until December but I can barely contain my excitement. This time good ol’ Nic Cage (who hasn’t made a bad movie EVER) is searching for the missing pages of John Wilkes Booth’s diary to uncover the truth behind the Lincoln assassination. Turns out it was actually planned by Saddam Hussein. Who knew?

Stephen Carter

Known to his friends as the exterminator, Stephen T. Carter unfortunately left this world on May 5th due to knee surgery complications in conjunction with a bear attack.

In his tenure at Whitman, Stephen has become friends with many people, one or two of which he actually likes.

He came to Whitman College to study English but became a Politics major after accidently checking the wrong box on a registrar’s form and never noticing.

Stephen spent seven semesters as a writer or editor of the Back Page, but it was only until his fourth semester that he realized the page was supposed to be ironic. When not writing, Stephen enjoyed spending all of his free time alone in his room, only coming out to tell people to be quiet and to buy Dido CDs.

Stephen was known around campus as an active member of the community. He served two terms as President of the Gardening Team and was the co-founder (along with Chuck Cleveland) of the Whitman’s premier freestyle rap battle group, “The Fuckz.”

Stephen will be remembered by his close friends, his family, and his estranged two-year old son, Billy, a mistake that he never publically acknowledged.

Services for Stephen will be held at the local Safeway on Rose on May 20th at 4pm. As per Stephen’s last wishes, everybody who attends will recieve a vial of Stephen’s ashes to discreetly rub into the fresh produce.

Finding WW jobs is no piece of cake

Finding a job in Walla Walla during the summer can be like trying to look for a needle in a haystack.

“Finding a job here is hard,” said German professor Susan Babilon. “Trust me, I know. I’ve lived here for over ten years!”
Seemingly more difficult is trying to find a full-time position that will pay over the minimum wage per hour.

While Whitman’s Career Center Web site speaks on its ability to find summer jobs for students, it has little to offer those who wait until May or June to begin applying. Only one or two on-campus jobs are listed.

Likewise, many off-campus positions the Web site lists have either already been filled or require year-round commitments. The Plant Company, for example, has already filled its part-time summer positions. Similarly, 26brix restaurant prefers workers who will commit themselves to working year-round, something that most Whitman students simply can’t commit to.

The Career Center’s advice on finding a summer job is to “just keep looking.” The job listings will change from day to day and it can behoove an eager job-searcher to give it a daily check. Recently added to the list was a month long full-time position at the bookstore. Other positions are expected to be added soon.

Other options for people looking for jobs include the classifieds section of the Union Bulletin and the student listserv. From these sources students can find jobs that might not be listed on the Career Center’s Web site.

Professors and other residents of Walla Walla often have a better idea of where jobs availability. The YMCA, for example, offers summer day camp positions that aren’t listed on the Career Center’s Web site. Likewise, some people may be looking for house-sitters or people to watch their pets.

Hot Hot Heat: Best of the best of summer live music

Whether you want to pack your bags for a major festival or just see who’s making music in your own back yard, summer is the time to ditch academia for the far-more-interesting world of rock ‘n’ roll.
Here’s all the information you’ll need this summer for the most promising (and not-so-promising) imminent performances.
And yes: Hot Hot Heat is playing this summer. So the headline isn’t a total misnomer.

Pitchfork Music Festival

Pack a windbreaker, because Chicago is the place to be if you want an inexpensive but utterly fantastic summer music festival. The Pitchfork Music Festival is perhaps your best bet if you’re looking for flea market-shoppin’ indie kids who spent all their money on button-making machines; the festival is $15 for a Friday pass and $25 for a Saturday or Sunday pass. The headlining acts this year are splendid: Sonic Youth, GZA/ Genius and Splint on Friday; Yoko Ono, Cat Power and Clipse on Saturday; The New Pornographers; Stephen Malkmus and De La Soul on Sunday. Other groups on Saturday and Sunday to get worked up about include Grizzly Bear, Girl Talk, Of Montreal and recent Whitman performers Menomena. I think if I could go to any festival all summer, this would be the one. First of all, Yoko Ono is vastly under-appreciated. Her latest release “I Am A Witch” was one of the best albums of the year, featuring mixes by such eclectic artists as Peaches and the Apples in Stereo. Second, the non-headlining acts are probably some of the most phenomenal that this summer will see. The Ponys, The Twilight Sad and Deerhunter particularly excite me. Chicago is also one of the downright awesome-est cities in the known universe. If you go, be sure to check out the Chicago Diner: THE best vegan restaurant in the United States; and go to one of the legendary improv shows the city offers. Besides music, the festival offers tents and activities from WLUW radio station (apparently it’s an enormous record fair) and DEPART-ment, which offers all hand-crafted goods from all over the country. Plus, I’ve really been getting into Sonic Youth lately and you should too.

DATE: Friday, July 13, Saturday, July 14 and Sunday, July 15.
WHERE: Chicago, Illinois
TICKETS: Friday Single Day passes are $15. Saturday or Sunday Single Day passes are $25. A limited number of weekend packages are available as follows: Friday, Saturday and Sunday three-day passes are $45 Saturday and Sunday two-day passes are $35.
WEB: pitchforkmusicfestival.com

Sasquatch Festival

You needn’t go farther than the Columbia River Gorge for a solid music festival: Sasquatch offers West-coast hippies a musical outlet with headlining acts Bjork, the Arcade Fire, Sarah Silverman, the Beastie Boys and Interpol. Honestly, I kind of hate Sasquatch. All those poser kids who want to be into music go and they get their parents to put up the cash to send them. And they all wear Birkenstocks. I think they’re annoying and that’s because 1) I’m a music snob and 2) I go to Whitman, so I get bored of the Sasquatch attendee “type.” Furthermore, the lead acts this year aren’t really that great. They’re pretty overblown, in my opinion. I raised these concerns to my friend Andrew Hall. “But Andrew,” I protested, “Sasquatch really isn’t that great.” “But Bjork!” He said. And he had a good point. “Good point,” I said. “But do you really need to see Bjork?” And of course Andrew did need to see Bjork because who doesn’t need to see Bjork? So I said, “Do you really want to see Bjork while standing next to a bunch of kids in Birkenstocks?” Andrew replied, “I have this one friend who wears Birkenstocks. His name is Chris. Sometimes I stand next to him. Then he says, ‘Why are you standing next to me?’ And I say, ‘I don’t really know.’” And that was that. So to recap: Go to Sasquatch if you wear Birkenstocks or you really, really have to see Bjork. Or, if you’re like me and you get a huge hard-on for Sarah Silverman, that might be a reason to go. Also performing (and definitely worth seeing if you have the cash): M.I.A., Neko Case, The Hold Steady, Grizzly Bear, Electrelane, the Two Gallants, Mirah, the Blow, the Polyphonic Spree, Spoon, Blackalicious, The Dandy Warhols, Patrick Wolf, Michael Showalter, The Helio Sequence and Minus The Bear.
DATE: Saturday, May 26 and Sunday, May 27.
WHERE: Columbia River Gorge Amphitheatre
TICKETS: $65 (plus $1 charity) per day until May 21, when the price goes up to $75 per day.
CONTACT: info@sasquatchfestival.com
WEB: sasquatchfestival.com

Bonnaroo

This is a big festival. I mean, it’s really big. It’s four days, four stages and big name upon big name upon big name. It’s also in Tennessee, which means you have to do some trekking to get there, but if you’re looking for a place to blow your wad (literally and figuratively), this might be just the spot. Performing this year are so-famous-they’re-cliché acts like the Police, Tool, the White Stripes, Ben Harper, Widespread Panic, the Flaming Lips and the Decemberists. I think the reason to go to a festival like this is to go and say you survived. In 2007, Bonnaroo is the closest you’ll come to a rock-centered, bourgeois Woodstock you can get. Worth catching, too, will be the Little Ones, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Apollo Sunshine and Regina Spektor. On the other hand, RX Bandits will be there. So … that might be a reason to miss the show.
DATE: June 14 to 17.
WHERE: Manchester, Tennessee
TICKETS: Four day passes will be sold at a limited special rate of $184.50 each. There is a limited allotment at this price. When the first allotment is sold out, ticket price will increase to $199.50 and then again to $214.50.
WEB: bonnaroo.com

Summerfest

The Web site says Summerfest is “The World’s Largest Music Festival.” I guess that’s possible. Summerfest isn’t really that much to write home about, unless you really, really like mainstream radio. The show is long (June 28 to July 8 ) and it’s so cheap ‘cause it’s heavily commercialized and about a zillion people show up (there are terrifying pictures of this on the Web). The acts are so-so. Middle school flashback-inducing headliners include the Violent Femmes, Def Leopard with Styx and Foreigner, Blue Oyster Cult, The Fray, OK Go, the Goo Goo Dolls, Sister Hazel, Built to Spill, Heart, John Mayer with Ben Folds, Tool, Bon Jovi, Peter Frampton and Papa Roach. Really brings you back, huh? Especially Sister Hazel. I mean, whatever happened to Sister Hazel? Oh, that’s right. They booked a show at Summerfest. I think I’d go to see “Weird Al” Yankovich (I’ve seen him three times before and he is hands down the best performer in modern America) and B. B. King (obviously). The festival also boasts that they will have “All four original members of Asia.” Hot damn. All four original members of Asia? What are those? China, Japan, Korea and India? Clearly counterbalancing the rare wonderful aspects of the festival will be undeniably shitty bands like Augustana (you know… “I think I’m going to Boston… I think I’ll start a new life… I’m really, really boring”), Blue October (more boring) and the All American Rejects (downright laughable.) You can get cheaper beer from the Apex and just turn on Walla Walla’s 98.3 FM (The Key) to get the same experience. Trust me.
DATE: June 28 to July 8
WHERE: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
TICKETS: Evening and weekend adult admission tickets purchased at the gate will be $15. Children’s and Senior’s tickets are $3. Advance ticket sales are $14 available through Ticketmaster now through June 15, 2007. Two Day Passes are $20 now through March 31, 2007. $23 from April 1 through June 15, 2007.
WEB: summerfest.com

And in Portland and Seattle…

The Bad Plus
May 18, Dimitrious Jazz Alley, Seattle
The latest release from the Bad Plus is SO GOOD. They’re this awesome jazz outfit that has found just the right fusion of jazz, blues and rock ‘n’ roll. For instance: on this one they cover David Bowie and Tears for Fears. Like I said: Awesome.

RJD2
May 18, Neumo’s, Seattle
Do not pass up an opportunity to see RJD2. It’s an experience worth having: Trust me. This is the original and unequivocated cut-and-paste hip-hop that evokes, well, everything and it is absolutely the best there is.

Hot Hot Heat
May 20, WaMu Theatre, Seattle
I honestly only put this in here because it’s summer and the band is called Hot Hot Heat.

Brandi Carlyle
June 1, Moore Theatre, Seattle
Brandi Carlyle has been making waves lately for her soulful, original vocals mixed with a passion that channels female folk stars of the ‘60s. It’s a kind of Janis Joplin meets Joan Baez kind of sound, which is pleasing and surprising. Plus, she does a great cover of “Hallelujia” by Leonard Coen.

Mirah
June 8, Aladdin Theatre, Portland
This is totally un-P.C. of me, but when I first saw Mirah perform I thought she was chubby. And that disappointed me. I think that’s because her voice is so small and fragile I just assumed she would be too. She is, however, a wonderful performer and very well-dressed.

CSS
June 8, Doug Fir Lounge, Portland
Oh. My. God. If you haven’t yet had the pleasure of discovering the too-cute-for-words Brazilian chick electro-dance band, you are soooo missing out. Lyrically, this band is phenomenal (that is, when they’re not singing in Portugese, which is awesome for its own reason). For instance, they have a song called “Meeting Paris Hilton” which basically consists of the words, “I went to the bitch. The bitch was so hot. She came to me and said, ‘Do you like the beach, bitch?’” It’s rad. Plus, in concert, they have sick dance moves. That they ask you to participate in.

The Wrens
June 9, Crocodile Cafe, Seattle
The Wrens are by far one of the best bands of the ‘90s, but because of problems with their label, they had trouble releasing albums until very recently. “Meadowland,” released in 2003, was a solid record that got the band back on the map and now they’re finally back on track touring and making sweet, sweet music.

Laura Viers
June 9, Aladdin Theatre, Portland
Viers has released a really mature album within the last month. If you weren’t sure before, she is definitely a rising force in indie pop music.

Hot Chip
June 11, Wonder Ballroom, Portland
Hot Chip had one of the most talked-about albums of last year, fusing mellow electronica with dance pop. It’s a unique sound which makes for a fantastic show. There will be much dancing and lots of cute boys in Converse Sneakers. Plus, the Wonder is a great venue, with ample room to move.

Blue Scholars
June 14, Music Millenium, Portland
You may remember this startlingly talented rap outfit from a performance last spring at Whitman. They were awesome, weren’t they? They totally blew your socks off. So take the opportunity to enjoy a free CD release concert at this hip independent record store.

Grizzly Bear
June 25, Crystal Ballroom, Portland
What began as a home-recording experiment for Bostonian Edward Droste grew into one of the biggest things to hit college radio airways in years. They sound like Animal Collective meets Sufjan Stevens, so no wonder they’re so popular.

M. Ward
June 30, Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, Portland
Definitely take this opportunity to seethe stunning Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall (stare up at the beautiful ceilings; marvel at the lovely sculptures and lounge chairs) and one of the most talented guitarists in modern music perform. M. Ward is a musician’s musician and you’ll be in shock when you see how fast his fingers can move (and how well he can whistle!)

Lifesavas
June 30, Doug Fir Lounge, Portland
Portland favorites Lifesavas pretty much revolutionized indie hip-hop for the City of Roses. They’re eclectic and quirky and really, really good performers. They did a rap cover of an Elliott Smith song for last years “To: Elliot Love: Portland.” Need I say more?

The Two Gallants
July 2, Roseland, Portland
There is no better way to anticipate the 4th of July than to go see this sometimes-political always-beautiful alternative folk band perform. I can’t get through a blurb about the Two Gallants without saying that my boyfriend worships (seriously: worships) them for their intricate-yet-simple lead guitar parts and heartbreaking, spellbinding lyrics. This stuff will absolutely blow you out of the water. Do yourself a favor and get a ticket.

Kelly Clarkson
July 11, Rose Garden, Portland
Seriously you guys. Kelly Clarkson has kind of started to rock. I mean, we knew she was going places from the beginning, but could any of us really have imagined? This reminds me of the time I went to see Avril Lavigne because my friend’s dad had won tickets. And that was about the best show I’ve ever been to in my life. There’s just something about tweenage girls in eye makeup, overpriced T-shirts and angsty pop princesses that is really inviting.

American Idol in Concert
July 28, Rose Garden, Portland
Sanjaya will be there.

Old Crow Medicine Show
August 17, Oregon Zoo, Portland
Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking: They only show suck concerts at the zoo. And that’s sort of true. But actually, Old Crow Medicine Show is great if you’re itching for a little modern bluegrass music. They definitely have street cred. Think the Avett Brothers meet Blackalicious. Sort of..

Note strangely found on both bodies: Stephen and Dru wish to apologize to…

Over our few years writing this page, we have offended a lot of shitheads… and we know it, and not just on the paper, in real life too. So, we feel like we owe an apology to several people for several different things. So, without further ado, we apologize to:

-Every alumni ever who has thought this was a real page. But really? You thought it was a real page? The constant use of the word fuck didn’t throw you at all. Bravo.

-Everyone who got offended by that last apology…
-Hoobastank… we’re sorry you suck so much
-Hootie, but not the blowfish, the blowfish are all dicks.
-The tri-delts… sorry, our bad… the former tri-delts
-The men of Tau Kappa Epsilon
-The men of Beta Theta Pi
-The men of Phi Delta Theta
-The “men” of Sigma Chi
-Santa Clause. You are real.
-China. We wouldn’t trade you for all the tea in you.
-The father
-The son
-And to a lesser extent the holy ghost.
-Pearl Jam… one we time we heard Creed on the radio and thought it was you… we were very sorry…
-U.J. Sofia, for Dru’s astro presentation
-Stephen’s son. Look Billy, I send your mother checks. That doesn’t mean I love you. I didn’t mean to confuse you.
-Chairs. We know our weight keeps fluctuating and you don’t know how to prepare for us. Thanks for being you.
-Matt Aliabadi. There, we mentioned you. You owe us $5. Are you happy, Matt?
-The people who are building the bridge. We are sure you are trying your hardest.
-Matt Cooley. We are sorry you are you.
-The music department for that piano we thought was a urinal. And for the water fountain we thought was a bidet.
-Philosophy majors. We feel like we have been pretty hard on you on the Back Page and we are sorry for that. But mostly we are sorry because you will never amount to anything.
-Sophie and the copy editors. You all did a great job at catching and correcting our spelling errors. But we still hold that “bawling” should be spelled “balling.”
-To the ten or so people who were conned by Dru into giving them their life savings… of course you didn’t know it was Dru… PYRAMID SCHEME!
-The Sociology Department. Thanks for being you.
-The audience of The Machinery of Night.
-To our mothers… labor sucks… we understand that now…
-Swiffer Vacs… we underestimated your sucking power… you REALLY suck.
-To anyone who read that last horrible pun
-Snape… we don’t know if you actually are evil… we will wait until June 21st… we will wait very anxiously
-40 percent of the whitman population… the 40 that are ugly!
-Devo. You would be so easy to make fun of but we never really got around to it. Thanks for being you.
-Everybody who has been yelled at while walking down Isaacs. It was actually us. Sorry.
-Bon Appetit and people on meal plans. We took your spoons.
-The entire Whitman College community. Thanks for letting us attempt to entertain you for three years. But mostly, thanks for being you.

Whitman without Whitman: Walla Walla summer

“Am I staying in Walla Walla over the summer? God, no!” said first-year Allison Gill.

Many other Whitman students had similar reactions to this question, expressing the belief that there is not enough to do to occupy their time when school is not in session.

Those who actually have spent summers in Walla Walla think otherwise.

“It can be a lot of fun if you try,” said junior Rand Biersdorff. Biersdorff spent the last summer in Walla Walla and said it was enjoyable for her.

“My favorite part of the summer was just getting to know other Whitties who also stayed,” said Biersdorff. “I’d run into people I recognized from campus, and we’d start talking and end up hanging out.”

Sophomore Aisha Fukushima also spent the last summer in Walla Walla and enjoyed spending time with other Whitman students.

“I got together with a bunch of other juniors and we planned bowling parties every Monday,” said Fukushima. “They also had the rock climbing wall open in parts of the summer and I learned how to rock climb.”

Fukushima enjoyed “discovering Walla Walla” on her own time. She went to the bird aviary at Pioneer Park and biked around the wheat fields.

Walla Walla is host to many summer events as well, several of which are not open the rest of the year. Many of these events are free and weekly.

The Farmer’s Market is open on Saturdays and Sundays from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. all summer long. Visitors can shop from local merchants and enjoy music and a pleasant atmosphere.

The Summer Sounds Downtown, at the Plaza at First and Main streets, is put on from 5 to 7 p.m. Thursday evenings, from May 31 to Aug. 30. This is a free weekly musical event, featuring musicians from across the nation as well as local artists. The music covers genres such as rock, R&B, blues, jazz, folk Celtic and gospel.

There are other summer events which happen on a one-time basis.

The Multicultural Arts Festival will take place on June 17 in Pioneer Park, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Admission is free for attendees to celebrate music, dance, games, stories and food.

The 23rd Annual Walla Walla Sweet Onion Festival takes place July 21 and 22, with food, wine, live music, a horse show, a recipe contest and more.

The Walla Walla Community College Foundation 2007 Outdoor Summer Musical is happening July 12-14, 19-22 and 26-29 at 8 p.m. at the Fort Walla Walla Amphitheater. Rogers and Hammerstein’s “Cinderella” will be performed. Tickets for children cost $6-20 and for adults $12-20, depending on which night the ticket is purchased for.

On Aug. 4-5, the YMCA is hosting the Peach Basket Classic, a 3-on-3 basketball tournament. Hundreds of teams sign up yearly, with ages ranging from children to adults.

Of course, there are also activities that one can participate in during the summer that are available all year long. But with the extra time away from school, now might be the time for interested students to take advantage of them, such as exploring Main Street, visiting the various museums and art galleries around town, biking around the town and wheat fields or visiting Pioneer Park, as suggested by Fukushima, visiting the Blue Mountain Casino, swimming in Lake Bennington or just getting to know other Whitman students.

Required Reading: Best books for the beach, bathtub and back yard

I can tell you haven’t been pleasuring yourself lately. What’s that you say? Too much work, too tired, anxious, busy to spend that extra hour in the evening indulging in that one guilty something that sent you under the covers as a child with a flashlight? Whitman is supposed to have one of the happiest student bodies in the nation, but I see through those superficial smiles, those nimble frisbee-clad fingers out on Ankeny couldn’t form a thumbs-up sign that would convince me. Hell, Bon Appetit keeps us overfed, but when was the last time you satiated your mind with a nice, long, page-turner of a pleasure read? With summer just around the corner, give yourself the time you deserve to crack open a good book. Stop off at Powell’s Books before you catch your flight home and stock up. Just in case the prospect of choosing a winner to take with you for those summer months is too daunting for you to handle, I’ve made things simple. Here are some books, whose main commonality is that they are guaranteed to keep you occupied.

The Giving Tree
by Shel Silverstein
This book makes me cry a little every time I read it. Maybe you’re working as a nanny this summer, or perhaps you don’t believe the lie that the only books with substance are the ones without pictures. Like the famous spiritual text the Tao Te Ching, this quick, “easy” read could be read in half an hour, or it could take a lifetime. Confront life’s impermanence and our tremendous capacity to give, all in a wonderfully illustrated tale of a boy and his favorite tree.

Cradle to Cradle
by William McDonough and Michael Braungart
In “Cradle to Cradle”, McDonough and Braungart propose a solution to the current industrial system, one that renders the inefficiencies and wastefulness things of the past. By mirroring natural cycles, they argue that things like household products, industrial systems and buildings can be revolutionized. This book is so inspiring. Oh, and this is the best part: the book itself is a physical manifestation of the new design theory. It isn’t made out of trees, but instead this new synthetic material that is both waterproof and durable. When you are done reading it, you can boil it in water so that the ink comes off, and then you can use it as a journal! Now that’s recycling.

Love in the Time of Cholera
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Love is a disease. It is suffering, a trap, a plague. Oh, but it’s so good. This is the book to read if you are spending the summer apart from your significant other. Marquez’s tale is one of unrequited love, and is so beautiful, raw, and all-consuming you probably shouldn’t read it on the beach because you will neglect for hours to re-apply your sunscreen and burn to a crisp. Even if you do, it won’t matter to you, because you will be so utterly enveloped in this dense, emotional novel that you will cease to fret over life’s more trivial concerns. Here’s a favorite quote: “Together they had overcome the daily incomprehension, the instantaneous hatred, the reciprocal nastiness, and fabulous flashes of glory in the conjugal conspiracy. It was time when they both loved each other best, without hurry or excess, when both were most conscious of and grateful for their incredible victories over adversity. Life would still present them with other moral trials, of course, but that no longer mattered: they were on the other shore.”

What is the What
by Dave Eggers
I haven’t actually read this yet, but if it is anything like “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius,” his earlier work, it promises to be epic. Eggers writes about Valentino Achak Deng, a refugee from the civil war in Sudan, who is now living in the United States. He merges the fictional realm with non-fiction elements told to him by Deng, creating a memoir that was described in New York Magazine’s book review as “a portrait of a character that forces us to examine our world and ourselves, and how our struggle for identity is more of a collective battle than we’re often willing to admit.”

East of Eden
by John Steinbeck
You probably read Steinbeck’s other classic, “Grapes of Wrath,” in high school. Well, don’t find yourself bumbling into middle age without having known the depth of “East of Eden.” I could tell you what this book is about in one word. Ready? Life. The idiosyncrasies of the characters leave you wondering how one man, so very long ago, could have had so much figured out about human nature. If I were you I would listen to this novel as a book-on-tape while taking an epic road trip with people you love. Time will pass without asking permission. Just be careful if you’re driving not to get so caught up in things that you swerve into oncoming traffic.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
by J.K. Rowling
Our children are going to ask us some day, “Where were you when ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’ came out?” Are you prepared to answer them? Granted, there is a lot of hype surrounding this series, but come on, there are no rules to summer reading. If you are that embarrassed, you can always swap book jackets. No one will give you an, “Aren’t you five years too old to be reading that?” look if they think it is Moby Dick or something. And hey, maybe Rowling saw Daniel Radcliffe’s play in London this year and was inspired to write a chapter involving Harry exposing himself to Ron and Hermione. In case you haven’t been keeping tabs, the official release date is July 21.

First spring Farmer’s Market expands variety

The Farmer’s Market is expanding its territory. On Saturday, May 5, the first Farmer’s Market for 2007 took place. There were more stalls than in the fall; the variety and the visitors began at 10 a.m.

It was easy to find Whitman students in the crowd.

“I really like the Farmer’s Market. I usually just look at the stuff and sometimes buy some fruits. Most of all, I really enjoy the atmosphere. I understood that the first Farmer’s Market for the year will be today, and that’s why I’m here. I guess it was a word of mouth advertisement,” said sophomore Julia Leavitt.
For the springtime, however, the greatest variety is in the green vegetables such as fresh onions, garlic, spinach and asparagus. There were also several plant starters for gardens.

“Yeah, I also enjoy the atmosphere, and I actually bought something—this fresh bunch of onions,” said sophomore Regina Fitzsimmons.

This opening Saturday of the Farmer’s Market was the first time for Marianne, a Walla Walla resident, to expose her hand-made earrings and other jewelry pieces. The Blue Mountain Humane Society also hosted a stall.

Some of the other vendors included The Midnight Oil Shop, offering different kinds of aromatic soap and fragrances; the J. Franklin Willis photography stall, offering over 200 different photography postcards, separated thematically, and in different sizes and the Wally’s artistic wood working stall, offering different wood-carved products.

The Octopus Garden Honey stall was selling raw local honey and beeswax candles, produced in an Apiary in Dayton, Wash. “I’ll be here every Saturday from now on. I can’t bring my bees here, because it’s illegal in most states, but I can bring the honey,” said Susan Hosticka.

The Sweet Onion Food Co-op, a food cooperation started by Whitman students, was also represented.

“This is a grocery store, offering organic products and owned by people who shop there. It is more like a group of people, member of this cooperation, that purchase products directly from a wholesale distributor. There is a membership fee of less than $2 per month letting people be part of the buying club,” said senior Belén Seara.

As usual, for this opening Saturday of the Market there was a live music by Dave Cool Katz.

The Farmer’s Market will be open every Saturday from 10 a.m. at the corner of 4th and Main street, until the fall.

The whittie who wasn’t: Reflections of a not so stereotypical Whitman student

I have never run Beer Mile, nor have I gone to Dragfest. I have never owned an iPod Nano, nor am I writing this on an I-whatever shiny white Mac laptop. I have never played Frisbee Golf, nor have I ever been good at Ultimate. I am not from Seattle, and while I was born in Portland, I don’t really call it home anymore.

I have eaten more fast food than organic food, and the fact that something comes in a package or can has never stopped me from eating it. I have never owned Chacos, nor have I ever worn anything made by Patagonia. I have never gone on an OP trip, and the few times I have camped in my life I could always think of things that would be far more enjoyable—like watching C-Span. Two of the three Nalgenes I have called my own were given as gifts by Whitman departments, and the third I stole from my Freshman year roommate, Lazaro.

I have never gone skiing, nor snowboarding and generally enjoy a warm beach more than a damp forest. I shower regularly and hate having my shirt off in almost all situations. Very few people would call me a hippie and my being a Democrat doesn’t really reflect that concept, either. I don’t think Republicans are the root of all evil and find some of the “liberals” around me to be more close-minded than any conservative I have met. I am not a rabid atheist with little appreciation or knowledge of the beautiful faiths in this world, and I find more spirituality walking into a church, mosque, synagogue, or temple than I do out in “nature.” I readily and freely admit my privilege, instead of attempting to deny it and ignore how I can use it to improve the world. Oh yeah … and I am not exactly white.

All those things that I have done or not done, believed or not believed, or owned or not owned are things that seem to separate me from typical Whittie status. Or, perhaps they separate me from stereotypical Whittie status. Some of those things I regret not doing, some of them I am proud of. And only a few do I judge others for having the alternative. I mean, Chacos …. really? Can you blame me?

Looking back, it would have been easy for me to feel alienated and lost, given all the things about me that just don’t seem to fit very neatly into this community. Each of the things listed above are all things that have been told to me, explicitly or implicitly, as keeping me from being a “true” member of this community.

Now that I am preparing to leave, I began to ask how it is possible that I manage to be counted among our statistically happy population. Given that there certainly is a presumptive Whittie identity that for several reasons I just don’t fit into, how can I still feel like I am a part of this place? After some reflection, I think I have come up with two reasons:
One, for every person that made me feel like I didn’t belong, there was a student, professor, staff member, or administrator who went out of their way to make me feel welcome. My friends here embrace me for who I am and remind me every day that not only do I belong, but that there was no place else I could be. They made me realize that there was something about this place that I had to experience, something I had to be a part of in order to come out with a better understanding of who I am.

Second, I realize now that the presumptive stereotypical Whittie identity is complete and utter crap. Nobody embodies it entirely, and in fact nobody embodies a majority of it. There are things about being a member of this community that I embody, and most things on my list are things that I don’t do but others do and are right to do so, because it is right for them. Although, I will continue to judge you if you own Chacos, but not too harshly.

Diversity has become more or less of a buzz word this year. It means something different to everyone—pun very much intended, by the way. To me, it has more to do with highlighting and celebrating difference, all the while sharing something profound in common. Our commonality is that we are all here, and that a part of us always will be. You can’t take the Whitman out of me and President Bridges giving me that diploma will only take me physically out of Whitman.

We are all in the leaves that cover the grass in the fall, and we are in the vines that creep up Sherwood in the spring. We are all in the books in the library, and in the red brick of the Reid Campus Center. Students, professors and staff all share that we lived here, in this community and that it has meant something. Exactly what can never be quantified, but it need not be. We will find our own diverse answer.

ASWC calls for student participation

Every year each student pays ASWC dues, called the “Activity Fee,” of just over $300. The Associated Students of Whitman College (ASWC) controls this fund, deciding what and who to spend it on. “Every Whitman college student is a member of ASWC,” states the Web site (whitman.edu/aswc). This membership grants free membership to all ASWC events; “ASWC also serves all members by representing their interests as the student government of the College.”
You are a member of ASWC. Use that membership.

Voting is a good place to begin. Two deadlines were extended this year due to lack of student interest and/or participation. In the class of ’10, 193 students voted. In the class of ’09, 172 voted. That figures to approximately 50 percent of the class. In the class of ’08, however, 98 voted. That is approximately 27 percent.

“There’s a real disconnect between ASWC and the majority of the student body,” said junior Chase Cooper, who serves on the ASWC Nominations Committee and in the House of Clubs as the IFC representative. “There is an incestuous ASWC elite.”
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For ASWC to have “any semblance of a democratic system, students must know and care about it,” said Cooper. Student awareness legitimizes student government and is essential to accountability. “Senators are an under-utilized resource,” said Cooper. Students can contact their representatives to express concerns or complaints.

Next year, for the first time in Whitman history, a student representative will serve on the Board of Trustees. ASWC has been pushing for this since the 1970s. The details of this position (the hiring process and so forth), are still under consideration and will be finalized over the summer. The Board of Trustees serves as the check on the President.

“Students at Whitman often participate in so many activities that they cannot give 100 percent to each one,” said senior Laura Hanson, Hiring Chair. “Certain positions, like Pioneer Editor-in-Chief and KWCW Manager, are filled by dedicated individuals who will give 100 percent.” Hanson said that to raise student awareness ASWC is working with Admissions to include information about student government in first-year orientation. “ASWC News,” a column appearing weekly in this publication, has also sought to bridge the divide between ASWC and students and to make information more accessible.
The ASWC Web site (whitman.edu/aswc) has up-to-date information on various positions, as well as in-depth information about the organization of ASWC. “ASWC news,” however, on the home page, was grossly out-of-date. The last entry was posted on Dec. 4, 2005.

Cooper believes that it is every student’s responsibility to stay informed and duty to themselves and the Whitman community to contribute.

“We’re all capable of understanding,” said Cooper. “Be aware; take active interest—it’s your money.”

Whittie of the Week: Pioneer’s Editor-in-Chief Sophie Johnson

Much like the elves in Santa’s workshop, the editors of the Pioneer work late nights behind the scenes to make sure this paper comes out every Thursday. The “head-elf” is Editor-in-Chief Sophie Johnson. Johnson is this week’s Whittie of the Week for her hard work, diligence and unique personality.

Johnson discovered journalism at the tender age of 3. She diligently recorded the day’s events with crayon drawings and then compiled them into a “Sophiegorian.”

“There was an Oregonian and I didn’t understand why there wasn’t a Sophiegorian so I started one. By the time I was seven and knew how to use the computer I distributed the Sophiegorian all throughout my house,” said Johnson.

In fifth grade Johnson started another newspaper called “Kidz Newz.” Together with a few friends, Johnson wrote ground-breaking stories about how great “Babysitter’s Club” books were or how her sister lost a tooth. She gave the stories to her dad, who made copies that Johnson distributed throughout her elementary school.

Johnson was one of the rare few who enjoyed middle school. She especially liked eighth grade. Johnson gave her eighth grade graduation speech wearing all black and dyed blue hair. She spoke about how all of us must feel like “bruised purple iris in a field of roses.” Looking back, Johnson imagines all the parents must have thought she was “totally goth.”

Johnson came to Whitman for the library. She doesn’t understand how people can dread going to the library; Johnson loves to spend her Friday and Saturday nights there.

“I like to go there when nobody else is there, go down the aisles, look for interesting books, pick them out and read them. There are such amazing books out there. I mean you should just spend a couple of hours doing that because whole new worlds will open up to you,” said Johnson.

The library isn’t Johnson’s only odd hobby; she is also a big collector. She collects Sweet & Low packets as well as spatulas. Johnson currently has 325 spatulas and welcomes additions.

Johnson also really likes paper. After taking Book Arts at Whitman, she began making stationary out of old books found in thrift stores. It’s not uncommon to find Johnson sitting in front the television, watching a movie and sewing paper.

Johnson is in the “Sweet Adeline” a cappella group and plays in a band called the Esplanades. An esplanade is a cement path by the water, as Johnson explained. Johnson loves the one in Portland for the dichotomy made by the path separating the beautiful river from the graffiti-covered freeway.
Johnson became vegetarian at an early age after her mom gave her crab for dinner. She asked why it had a face and was horrified to discover that the crab had once been alive.

As a sophomore in high school, Johnson became a vegan. According to Johnson, “Not only is veganism really really good for you, it also is a really worthwhile cause. It’s about workers rights, environmental rights; basically every big domestic issue. Meat and dairy processing factories have some of the worst worker’s rights in the country.”

Johnson is a proud member of Action for Animals as well as Peace Coalition.

“I like to go to the Peace Rallies and write mean editorials about them,” said Johnson.

She has also written an editorial about birds. She has two bird tattoos as well as two live birds that live in an aviary in her basement. Not only can Johnson identify every bird in Walla Walla, she can also do hilarious renditions of their calls.

How certain is uncertainty? Understanding reports on climate change

The Fourth Assessment Report from the Intergovern-mental Panel on Climate Change contains over 900 pages. And that’s only the section that outlines the physical science basis of global warming. If you haven’t yet done so, when you get around to evaluating the IPCC’s scientific claims, don’t forget to check the citations as well.

The abridged version of this Fourth Assessment Report given in many mainstream media sources, that global warming is “unequivocal” and has “very likely” been enhanced by human activity in the last 50 years, is easy enough to swallow. Do we really need to check the sources? Even if you don’t take Al Gore’s word as gospel or sing in the liberal choir, the IPCC’s confident claims about global warming are based on decades of climate science compiled from scores of researchers. And the IPCC wouldn’t distort science with a political agenda, would it?

As a person with little background in science, I struggle with how to evaluate global warming claims. Setting aside the heresy of global warming denial, it would be poor thinking to take at face value such extreme, earth-shattering statements made by a former politician and the media without probing them at all. But how does a person like me, unfamiliar with climate science, go about judging these statements? And lacking perfect knowledge about how to do so, how does one follow out the clear call to care for the environment?

Since the IPCC seems to have the authority to say whether global warming is something to be concerned about or not, the least I can do is read what it has to say about it. The physical science explanations in the Working Group 1 section of the Fourth Assessment Report are relatively simple to follow. But even if I read the entire 900-page report and understand in scientific terms what it is telling me, it doesn’t necessarily follow that the report is founded on good science. And unless I learn more about climate science, I have no way of knowing.

But why not accept the global warming hypothesis on authority, if there is really the consensus among scientists that Al Gore claims? Scholarly articles abound that either take global warming for granted or provide new evidence for it, but there are some that challenge certain aspects of the theory.

The most troubling criticism of the IPCC’s work that I have read questions the accuracy and predictive ability of current mathematical climate models. In a March 21 presentation by Canadian climatologist Tim Ball, available on the George C. Marshall Institute Web site, Ball argues that the models used to simulate the entire climate are too simplistic to accurately map its chaotic and complex phenomena. “They are an extremely cloudy crystal ball and they oversimplify poorly-understood climate processes, for example, precipitation and transport of energy,” Ball says. If you know something about climate models, you may read Ball’s critique and find obvious flaws. But to the non-scientist, his presentation is just as compelling as the IPCC’s.

Ball’s flame is only fanned by the Geophysical Fluid Dynamics Laboratory (GFDL), whose climate models are used in the Fourth Assessment Report. An article on the GFDL Web site entitled “Why Climate Models are Imperfect and Why they are Crucial Anyway” acknowledges their over-simplicity and excuses it by saying they are better than they used to be, and that there “is no viable alternative” for predicting future climate conditions. Even as a layman, this defense is unsatisfying.

So should I ignore fringe critiques like Tim Ball’s? Sourcewatch.org says that Ball has worked for the Natural Resources Stewardship Project, which is allegedly controlled by energy industry lobbyists, and Friends of Science, which has received funding from oil companies. Even if these connections discredit Ball’s research, it would again be sloppy thinking to assume that any critique of climate models is funded by oil companies and therefore preemptively dismiss it. In any scientific statement either supporting or critiquing global warming, the bottom line should be the science itself, not who presents it or how many people agree with it.

But as far as the layman is concerned, consensus and connections do matter. If I’m not going to study climatology, I have to keep looking for agenda-free climatologists to explain the science to me, and, if that is possible, it may be the best I can do.

The worst thing I could do would be to act as if science is the only source of information about how to care for the environment and seize on the vestiges of “uncertainty” as an excuse for inaction. Our relationship to the environment is what is really at stake in the discourse about global warming and our responsibility to care for it is not up for debate. If you aren’t completely sure that environmental responsibility means cutting carbon emissions, it’s time to follow out what it does mean.

No hesitations on ‘hook up’ culture

A couple of weeks ago this paper had a feature section on sex, with two articles on the pros and cons of casual sex. For this, my last column, I would like to weigh in on that discussion. Now, being a couple of years older than most of you I have had more time from which to sample … the, uh … offerings of life. However, also having been raised Catholic (and once a Catholic, I don’t care what Bill Maher says, you may leave the shame, but it never leaves you) the… sampling of those … offerings was rarely an uncomplicated act.

So while I do proscribe to the right of women to explore their sexual identity with the same freedom that men have traditionally been allowed, I wonder if somehow my generation has shot ourselves in the foot with our current interpretation of “sexual exploration.” I’m specifically addressing the new idea of “hook up” culture.

We hear that phrase all the time, usually tossed off casually, “oh yeah, and last night I hooked up with so and so … whatever.” Now maybe I am leg-shackled by Catholic guilt and maybe I do have a rather obsessive issue with germs, but shouldn’t physical communication be a little more … consequential than that, for both males and females?

But since, for better or worse, males typically haven’t been socialized to place the same level of importance on physical intimacy that females have, and extensive empirical evidence (and by evidence I mean the countless phone calls from wide variety of upset female friends I have received the day after “hooking up” that always start with “why doesn’t he call/like/love me”) cites that in “casual” situations females are typically left holding the emotional (and sometimes fetal) bag.

Now I am not saying that women cannot crave or enjoy the pure physical release that “hooking up” can sometimes provide, though it usually doesn’t because “hooking up” is typically an occurrence that happens under the influence and despite the plethora of problems that go along with making such decisions while in an altered state — drunk sex is RARELY good sex.

I am also not saying that women should be held to different societal standards and be forced to endure unpleasant labels should they pursue physical relationships in a manner men have co-opted as the sole purview of the masculine.

What I am saying that having lived a bit of that experience and having had (and currently having) female friends who are exploring this particular avenue — it doesn’t seem to be working. If anything “hook up” culture has made it easier for certain males to embrace their most problematic socially constructed instincts and left a lot of females even more confused.

Ladies, this does not mean we have to return to the days of “marriage first” or scarlet letters but maybe we should treat acts of intimacy, that have the ability to reek havoc on both our physical and emotional state, less casually. Rarely is the answer to a pressing social issue to be more thoughtless and that is exactly what “hook up” culture translates as — thoughtless (again, usually inebriated) acts of physical intimacy.

Men, I recognize that you also aren’t always the “enemy” in this battle. I know a lot of males who regard this behavior as highly problematic and refuse to partake in the spoils of this particular facet of post-modernism. Men who find the meaning of their own sexual journey complicated by the inherent thoughtlessness of “hook up” culture.

The semi-unconscious, over-arching theme of my columns this semester has been mindfulness, what it really means to consider situations we find ourselves in and the larger implications of those circumstances and our reactions to them. I have yet to discover a situation in which less thoughtfulness helps, and sex and intimacy are no exception.

The end goal of physical intimacy does not have to be “happily ever after” or even a relationship, but shouldn’t something that is so communicative, that has the ability to touch us on so many levels, that can be so damn great be held in just a little bit more regard than a “hook up?” Shouldn’t we also be holding each other in a little more regard too? Shouldn’t we regard our fellow humans (and ourselves!) as something more than just receptacles for hormonal release?

Congratulations fellow seniors — go forth and be mindful. Everyone else, revel in your summer. Thanks for reading.

College Place Wal-Mart: An investigative look

It took overcoming many hurdles for the Wal-Mart Corporation to open its store in College Place in 2001 after first expressing interest in 1994. With the support of the city government, and in opposition to local retailers and citizens groups, Wal-Mart has become part of the College Place landscape and was expanded in 2005.

The key to Wal-Mart’s success is described by first-year JJ Ooi. “You can find literally anything in there. It’s cheaper, convenient, and has a large variety of merchandise,” Ooi wrote in an e-mail.

Garett, a first-year, has shopped at the College Place Wal-Mart only once. Garett was looking for decorations for his fraternity house.

“We tried going elsewhere but trying to buy X-mas lights in February is tough, Wal-Mart was the only store that had some in stock,” he said.

The Wal-Mart Corporation runs 6,775 stores in 16 countries. The company is the biggest retailer in the United States, Canada and Mexico with the $315 billion revenue in 2006. Wal-Mart stores take pride in their low prices and a large assortment of merchandise.

The company has come under criticism for its labor and competition practices. Wal-Mart executives have gone on the record with strong anti-union statements and policies.

Other criticism stems from the practices of the company’s suppliers. More than 61,000 companies in the United States alone provide merchandise to the retailer.

In late February Fair Trade Campaign, a social justice and labor rights group affiliated with the Campus Greens, hosted representatives of worker groups in Colombia, India and Wal-Mart employees in Florida.

“People know that Wal-Mart is bad, but finding out specifics can still be eye-opening,” said Chloe Tirabasso, member of the Fair Trade Campaign, commenting on the response to the presentation from Whitman students.

The presenters accused Wal-Mart of underpaying and mistreating its retail employees and disregarding worker abuse by the suppliers overseas.

Other critics point out the company’s retail practices. Wal-Mart stores are usually placed close to major traffic veins and require large parking spaces for their costumers.

The College Place Wal-Mart store was constructed on a previously undeveloped property between College Avenue and Larch Street in southern College Place. The original development proposal called for closing access to State Route 12 from both streets and construction of a new crossroad.

A citizens group called foul on the basis that the proposed street would in effect pass through the store’s parking lot and facilitate access to the store. Further concerns included investments by the City of College Place in the road alterations. Blue Mountain Audubon Society questioned the environmental impact of the development.

The City Council of College Place welcomed the arrival of the retailer. “College Place receives about one-third the real estate tax revenue of the average like-size Washington city,” wrote Thor Bakland, the city mayor at the time, in letter in support of Wal-Mart, dated Dec. 8, 1997.

“To ensure that our citizens receive adequate public services, we must develop a commercial base for tax revenue,” Bakland wrote in the same letter.

The new access point to the Highway 12 was eventually constructed, but only one of the pre-existing ways, Larch Street, was cut off.

Wal-Mart aggressively addresses these and other criticisms of the company. A Web site dedicated to facts and figures about company highlights its efforts towards sustainability and social responsibility.
The company views its sheer size and economic influence as a major tool in ameliorating many of the problems related to its impacts on the environment, costumers and employees.

“Folks in Wal-Mart believe that the company can make the world a better place. Historically it was low prices,” said Scot Case in a phone interview from his Pennsylvania office. Case is a consultant advising companies on changing and improving their environmental practices and helped Wal-Mart design its environmental strategy.

“Now they are so big that their actions can have huge impact,” added Case.

For example, a decision to prohibit drivers from idling the distribution trucks would save 10 million gallons of gas a year, according to an informational video on the company’s web site. The practice change would also reduce the Wal-Mart’s emissions of carbon dioxide by 100,000 tons.

Consumer pressure is not the only factors pushing for environmental improvements of the company’s performance. Wal-Mart took heavy losses during Hurricane Katrina.

“Wal-Mart realizes that this is a biggie. Global warming is destroying business,” said Case.

Increasingly efficient practices benefit the corporation both directly and indirectly. More efficient stores save energy costs upfront, but energy saving appliances can give savings to the consumers. Case estimates that the costumers save about $30 to $40 per each compact fluorescent light bulb. These savings translate to extra money to be spent on other purchases at the Wal-Mart stores.

Citizens report corrupt cops

“There are a couple of corrupt cops in Walla Walla,” said Nick* as he began to describe two police officers. “And they pretty much do what they want and don’t get in trouble.”

Nick speculated that one of these “corrupt cops” favors family members even when he knows that his relatives are getting into trouble.

“One of them actually has a nephew in one of the Walla Walla gangs and he doesn’t give his nephew any trouble. His nephew hit someone in the head with a bat and never got in trouble.”

Nick claimed that the other mentioned officer is prejudiced against certain groups or families.

“If he doesn’t like a certain family or person, he will put them in jail for nothing. I was arrested once for the weekend for something my brother had done. The officer didn’t like my brother so he arrested me instead.”

With regards to the other officers on the Walla Walla force, Nick said that “quite a few are really nice and really like to help. Others just want to get their quota and don’t really care who gets in trouble.”

Although some cops might be corrupt or only care for their quota, Nick said that the crime rate has definitely improved in recent years.

“The cops are starting to get better at the crackdown on crime in Walla Walla. A year or two ago, things began to change and get better.”

For the most part, Walla Walla officers are known for cracking down on speeding in particular. Nick points out that some officers are prejudiced against certain drivers with particular vehicles.

“If one person is a mile per hour over the limit, they’ll pull them over. They go after sport bikes more than cruisers and Harleys.”

Andrew*, a Walla Walla community member and Narcotics Anonymous attendee, said that cops are not the only crime policing entities that are corrupt.
“I think the courts are more corrupt than the cops. Walla Walla is a small town. It’s got a small town community. I was about to break into this house, but all I did was take the screen off. It was the house of this rich girl that went to my high school. When I got to court, I got locked up for a lot longer cause her parents had a lot of power in town.”

*Names have been changed to protect identities of those in the article

Awareness crucial in creating change

News media gets blamed for cultivating fear in this country.

As well it should: News sources report violent crime disproportionately to how often they really occur—especially regarding race and youth. The Berkeley Media Studies Group did a study in 2001 which found that “depictions of crime in the news are not reflective of either the rate of crime generally, the proportion of crime which is violent, the proportion of crime committed by people of color, or the proportion of crime committed by youth.”

This is dangerous, the study said, because 76 percent of the public form their opinions about crime based around what they see or hear in the news.

So now the Pioneer is running a lead story about two Whitman students shot at with BB guns while riding their bikes and another lead story concerning a car vandalism—both incidents which could be considered hate crimes. The question that immediately comes to mind is, “Is Whitman really a safe environment for students?”

Overall, it is.

That doesn’t mean that incidents like these do not deserve front page coverage in the Pioneer, nor are these kinds of incidents completely unique to this campus. Several students complained of being sexually or physically harassed by Walla Walla community members at DragFest last week. Reports come in almost weekly of racial and sexual slurs being shouted at students from passing cars.

There’s another side to all of this, of course.

On April 20, Whitman students and Walla Walla community members gathered on the tennis courts to hold a freestyle rap battle for the second week in a row. According to students who attended, Whitman security asked the students to leave and shut off lights on the courts, warning that the rap battle would be shut down anywhere it was attempted on campus. Many saw these actions as blatant attempts to exile non-Whitman students.

Clearly, there’s a problem here. Whitman at times is so disconnected from the Walla Walla community that the result can be dangerous.

We don’t need protection from the Walla Walla community; we need conversation. The Whitman administration and students alike have a responsibility to not only treat this community with respect, but to make efforts to bridge the growing gap between “Whitties” and “townies.”

There have been efforts. Dozens of Whitman students tutor and mentor local children through America Reads/ Counts and the Whitman Mentorship Program. Local theater companies like the Little Theatre of Walla Walla and the Walla Walla Community College Theatre have seen a few Whitman student performers within the past year. President George Bridges has reportedly sent letters to community members inviting them to talk to him about any concerns they may have with Whitman.

But more must be done. First and foremost, we as a community of Whitman students must raise awareness about hate crimes on and off campus. Regardless of perpetrator or victim, hate crimes are unacceptable. Period. Students need to educate themselves about what constitutes a hate crime, how often hate crimes still occur and what can be done about it.
By running lengthy stories about hate crimes on campus, the Pioneer is not trying to cultivate an atmosphere of fear; we are trying to inform Whitman students of the kinds of things they deserve—and need to—know. If Whitman students are starting to feel unsafe about the environment they live in, then something has to be done about it.

Ten days until Commencement

On Sunday, May 20, the class of 2007 will graduate from Whitman College, walking across a stage assembled on the south lawn of the Memorial Building and receiving their diplomas. Commencement will begin at 11 a.m. and will be followed by an outdoor luncheon. About 365 seniors are expected to graduate this year. “We have the highest graduation rate for Whitman private liberal arts colleges in the Pacific Northwest over a five-year period—about 88 percent,” said Jed Schwendiman, associate to the president. “It’s significantly lower for most other colleges.”

As is academic tradition, there will be a baccalaureate service held the Saturday, May 19 at 2:30 p.m. in Cordiner Hall. Speaking this year are classics professor Dana Burgess, English professor Sharon Alker, associate dean of students Clare Carson and Stuart religious counselor Adam Kirtley.

“Traditionally a baccalaureate is a religious service. At our secular institution, it will not be a religious service,” said Burgess, who will be making a speech entitled, “Sophomoric No Longer.” “They can talk about whatever they want,” said Schwendiman of the baccalaureate speakers.

That is not to say that themes of spirituality will be left entirely out of the equation. “My approach is going to be generally espousing the virtue of paying attention to those inner big questions, effectively allowing oneself to be removed from the big cacophony of life—things like finding a job, finding a partner—things that pervade our existence,” said Kirtley. He will be speaking in place of Dr. George Ball, former professor emeritus and Stuart religious counselor who retired last year.

The keynote address at this year’s Commencement will be made by Jeffrey Sachs, director of the Earth Institute, Quetelet professor of sustainable development and professor of health policy and management at Columbia University. Sachs, who is one of the world’s foremost economic advisors, will receive an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters.

The process of choosing a keynote speaker for commencement starts early: each year, faculty and the graduating class are asked to submit nominations for consideration.

“There are all sorts of submissions that are not very practical,” said Schwendiman. “Somebody suggested Robin Williams, and somebody suggested Bill Nye the Science Guy. But Bill Nye was around 30 to 40 thousand dollars and Williams over 100 thousand.” These submissions go to the honorary degree committee, made up of students, trustees and faculty, who select from among them the most suitable candidates. “Once the short list—10 to 15 people—has been approved, then I contact the agents of the speakers. We find somebody from the short list who fits the date and price.”

Sachs seems to be an appropriate choice for Whitman College, being known for his commitment to both economic development and environmental sustainability. “[The faculty] want someone who represents an intellectual or creative accomplishment; they’re less interested in pop culture and politicians.”

“The important part of the day is not the keynote speaker, it’s being with your friends and family, walking across the stage and receiving your diploma,” said Schwendiman.

The speakers from the graduating class will be politics major Stephen Carter and theater major Dru Johnston.

Schwendiman urged all seniors to check Whitman’s commencement Web site early and often for details and instructions about the big day. He also had advice for the class of 2008: “Walla Walla has added a few hotels in the past couple years, but even with the recent additions we will fill every single hotel. … It’s very important that juniors this year have their parents make reservations this year. The sooner they do, the happier they will be.”

July 21 yields conclusion to Harry Potter series: many answers to unresolved issues anticipated

A week before Harry Potter’s 17th birthday, the seventh book in the J.K. Rowling’s series, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” will be released to bookstores and libraries all over the world.

Junior Hayley Hillman has been an avid reader and devoted fan of the Harry Potter series for years. According to Hillman, there are a few basic questions “Deathly Hallows” will answer.

“What’s behind the veil?” Hillman said. The veil referred to Sirius Black, Harry Potter’s godfather, who fell behind in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic in the final chapters of “Order of the Phoenix.”

“What are the horcruxes? We know two confirmed horcruxes that have already been destroyed—Tom Riddle’s diary and Marvolo Guant’s ring. It is not certain that the remaining horcruxes predicted by Dumbledore are correct,” said Hillman.

Scholastic, the American publisher of the novel, has posed a series of these questions in an online poll. Two of seven questions that will be posted have found that a majority of Scholastic Web site visitors believe Harry Potter will live throughout the novel and 40 percent of visitors believe Professor Severus Snape is good and still a spy for the Order of the Phoenix.

“I think [Snape] is a double agent,” said Hillman. “He’s single-handedly set up this whole war.”

Rowling has provided fans with clues about the concluding novels. Harry’s eyes, which are described often to be like his mother’s, will be a key plot point, maybe in regards to something incredibly important to come out about Lily Potter herself.

Readers cannot expect anymore Quidditch matches, but they may anticipate the death of at least one character and a final showdown between Harry and Lord Voldemort.

Harry Potter and friends “will they or won’t they” moments shall be addressed as well. The end of “The Half-Blood Prince” saw Ron and Hermione finally coming together, while Harry pushed one-time girlfriend and long-time crush Ginny away to shield her from danger.

“Obviously, Ron and Hermione are going to get together … and so will Harry and Ginny, but he feels like he has to protect her,” said Hillman of the romances.

The 784-page series conclusion hits bookstores July 21. Scholastic printed 12 million copies of the book, which they emphasized was printed on paper that contained a minimum of 30 percent post-consumer waste fiber. “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” will have the record for the largest first-printing of a book ever.

In Britain, the books are to be delivered to stores sealed in crates bound by chains a day before its release.

Amazon.com agreed to store its supply of books in secret locations around the country prior to release. Printing presses have added security. Also debuting this summer is “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” in theaters. David Yates, director of the acclaimed “The Girl in the Café,” directs a returning cast and a few new stars in the fifth installment of the series.

“Avid Harry Potter fans are more excited about the movie than the book,” said Hillman. “Because when the book comes out, it’s all over.”

Groups work to keep city green

It’s not easy being green, especially for a small city in eastern Washington. For instance, water use, land zoning and city planning are all hotly disputed in the valley.

The Walla Walla river basin has rich water resources year round because of the many tributaries to the Walla Walla river flowing from the Blue Mountains. Plenty of water, soil fit for agriculture and proximity to the timber resources in the mountains made this place a bustling town early on.

Some of the oldest water rights in the state of Washington can be found around Walla Walla. Rights to use water for farming, household and industrial purposes in Washington are allocated according to the “first in time, first in right” principle. People who have historically used water are entitled to it.

Water could also be very destructive, as was proven in 1931, when Mill Creek sent its excess water rushing down the city’s streets.

The creek was channeled throughout the city and levees built along its sides. In 1942 the Army Corps of Engineers built Bennington Dam to divert flood water from Walla Walla.

There is a long tradition of citizen involvement in promoting the well-being of the people of Walla Walla. Pioneer Park, located less than a mile from the Whitman College campus, was established by a women’s service club in the first decade of the 20th century.

Significant environmental conservation efforts in the area started in the 1990s in connection with the dispute over the endangered spotted owl and logging of the old growth forests that the birds inhabited.
The spotted owl habitat was put under protection, much to the disapproval of the loggers.

“Habitat protection east of Cascades was very successful. Logging of old growth forests was reduced by 90 percent,” said Judith Johnson, who worked with the Audubon Society’s Blue Mountain Chapter at the time of the controversy.

Forest conservation had a larger impact than preservation of an owl species.

“The endangered species was the salmon, not the spotted owl,” said Johnson, who is now the program coordinator for Kooskooskie Commons, an organization dedicated to promoting dialogue among the Mill Creek and Walla Walla River water users.

Water diversion from the Mill Creek by the City of Walla Walla and other land users along the river leave water levels very low during the summer months, which reduces the survival rates of spawning salmon and other fish.

Several groups besides Kooskooskie Commons work to enhance the fish habitat. Walla Walla Basin Watershed Council is responsible for the part of Walla Walla river basin that is located in Oregon.
Tri-State Steelheaders is a regional fisheries enhancement group that has grown from being a fishing club into fish habitat protection and improvement organization.

Walla Walla Watershed Alliance aims to create dialogue between groups in order to find solutions. Watershed Alliance is a major supporter of the Water and Environmental Center currently under construction at the Walla Walla Community College.

Washington State Department of Ecology, which is in charge of maintaining the minimal water flow in the river for fish survival, has noticed the high level of cooperation in the Walla Walla valley.
“In most places it’s a fight; here that’s not happening,’’ said Jay Manning, director of the Department of Ecology, in an address to the Walla Walla Noon Rotary club in January.

As a pilot program for the state, water use has been left to the local users and interest groups to find out ways of providing the required stream flows in the river.

Urban growth attracts similar attention. Amidst the economic promises of growth, several developments have caused controversy, most notably the Pennbrook housing and hotel development at the east end of Walla Walla.

Walla Walla 2020, a citizens group, has challenged the growth stimulating practices of the Port of Walla Walla, an economic development agency with the authority to levy taxes in the county.
“How do people with very different values and backgrounds work together?” asked Amy Molitor, lecturer with Whitman’s environmental studies and athletics departments. “I think there is a commonality, but finding that core of understanding is the main challenge that Walla Walla faces.”

Both Walla Walla County and City are required to prepare a Comprehensive Plan accounting for development and maintenance of existing urban services. The plan has to be updated every 10 years and this year both governments are working on gathering public input for the scheduled updates.

Committee addresses holiday decoration concerns now

The Holiday Lights Committee was formed this semester after a Christmas tree at the Physical Plant sparked controversy on campus. The controversy underscored the need to address an issue that had been brought to the Whitman administration’s attention by a student petition last year.

The petition was relatively vague and asked that the administration look into getting holiday lights and decorations on campus.

“There was a petition that went out last semester by some students saying that they wanted to get info about getting holiday lights around campus—not necessarily affiliated with any tradition—just because, they said, it’s winter, and winter is depressing,” said first-year Stephanie Silver, a committee member.
But confusion at the Physical Plant catalyzed the formation of the committee.

“Right now the guideline is just to keep things moderate, not offensive, and welcoming to everyone. They have a tradition of having a Christmas tree, and they always ask everyone if it’s ok, but this year one of the supervisors would not let them have it,” said Silver.

Until now, there has been no formal guideline delineating appropriate holiday décor. President George Bridges sent an e-mail to faculty and staff asking only for tastefulness and respectfulness.
Supervisors interpreted Bridges’ e-mail message differently, leading to the ban of the Physical Plant’s traditional tree.

“It was one person’s interpretation of the paragraph [in Bridges’ e-mail]. Even the atheist in the office has fun decorating and isn’t offended by our decorations and he was offended that we couldn’t decorate,” said Ginny Clark, staff member of the Physical Plant.

The disparity in restrictions aggravated the situation.

“It was discriminatory to us. Our holiday time was really unhappy, and the Physical Plant deserves an apology,” said Laura Ealy, staff member of the physical plant.

The issue worsened when Physical Plant workers observed others decorating in ways they had been told they could not.

“It wasn’t all the offices that were told that, so some saw other people with the same decorations that they had wanted to put up and were told they couldn’t,” said Silver.

Administration sensitivity about holiday décor does not reflect past complaints from students, so the concern is preemptive.

“There haven’t been any complaints from students in the past, but there is the concern of whether it’s P.C., or if people will feel overwhelmed. During the holidays, anyplace you go you’re going to be bombarded, so maybe on this place on campus which is supposed to be your home, if you choose not to do things in your dorm or personal space, should you also have the right not to be confronted with that in more public spaces,” said Silver.

The committee must also tackle issues of logistics.

“So if you do want to have these holiday lights, who’s going to put them up, where do they come from, who pays for them, how long are they up for, where are they—all those types of really menial questions that need to be addressed,” said Silver.

But political correctness largely trumped logistics. “We basically decided recently not to worry about logistics and that if people want to put up lights that’s fine, but they have to figure out how to do it. The college won’t tell them ‘no,’ it’s just a matter of getting this approved by the student body,” said committee member sophomore Julia Leavitt.

Town Hall meeting yields changes

On Tuesday night Treasurer Peter Harvey, Dean of Students Chuck Cleaveland and Bon Appetit Director Roger Edens answered a second round of questions for about ten students and a few faculty members regarding next year’s proposed changes to the meal plan.

In light of ample student protest, Harvey proposed that a “guest account” be established on each student’s meal plan account, allowing five double-swipes per semester and one per meal.

Senior Ajay Abraham, junior Curt Bowen and junior Jeff Wilson each urged that the guest account allow for 10 double-swipes, rather than five. After brief debate, this proposal was accepted by the board.

Although the changing hours in the Reid Dining Hall were briefly contested, there was not enough protest to instigate any alteration in the proposed changes. Junior Gabrielle Arrowood expressed concern that students on sports teams and involved with theatre would suffer from the changed hours, but Harvey and Cleaveland stressed the “5 to 7” p.m. window for students to get food.

Tuesday’s meeting will be the last of the semester in discussing major changes. However, many such meetings and surveys are expected to be held in the fall once the changes are in place.

‘Spiderman 3’ bears complexities

The sequel. That reviled cow that pours money out of her teats. While sequels have a tendency to merely latch onto the success of their prequel and suck gullible moviegoers dry, successful franchises have become more and more prevalent in the last 10 years. For years movie pundits have announced “the summer of the sequel” with little memory that such a moniker was used the year before. However, this summer will prove to be quite the doozy as far as sequels are concerned. In the upcoming months we’ll get a new “Pirates of the Caribbean,” another “Bourne” movie, the next “Harry Potter,” “28 Weeks Later,” “Shrek the Third” — the list goes on. “Spiderman 3” fired the opening salvo, and while it has some issues, it certainly sets the tone for the months to come.

The plot to the new “Spiderman” is a little intense, so try to keep up with me. We pop back where we left off from “Spiderman 2” with Peter Parker/Spiderman (Tobey Maguire) established as the superhero du jour of New York City. However, trouble is brewing. Parker is having love issues with lady-friend Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) and problems with ex-best-friend Harry Osborn (James Franco), who has taken over his father’s villainous job as the New Goblin. On top of that, the real killer of Parker’s uncle Ben has been found, but through a freak science experiment he has been turned into the rampaging Sandman (Thomas Haden Church). Add to this an alien symbiote that latches onto Spiderman and enhances his strength and rage, a second love interest named Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard) and rival photographer Eddie Brock (Topher Grace), and what should be mindless entertainment has just become
a lot more complicated.

To director Sam Raimi’s credit, the movie doesn’t seem nearly as complex while you’re watching it. Although the shifts between different sections may be a little abrupt, Raimi proves to be adept at interweaving all the plotlines together to form a coherent narrative. Those looking for more destruction and mayhem need look no further, as Raimi jam-packs the movie with impressive CGI that looks surprisingly realistic, and a one-ups-man-ship that makes the action sequences in the prequels look like kids playing with action figures in a sandbox. While one doesn’t look to acting nearly as much in this kind of movie, Maguire is comfortable in the role of Spiderman, and the turns from Franco, Haden Church and Grace are icing on the cake.

Raimi certainly can’t be accused of not trying, but this unfortunately also proves to be a downfall for the film. While I can forgive the desire to make the film “bigger and better,” sometimes it’s just too much (as evidenced by the lengthy plot synopsis). The film could really have been fleshed out into two more solid movies that would have allowed for more nuanced character development.
As it stands, there’s a very distinct downshift every time the characters have a “serious” discussion, and Raimi prefers to give the life lessons in easy to digest form which utterly lacks in subtlety. One of the strongest points of “Spiderman 2” was the identity crisis of Parker and his relationship with Dr. Octavius, but that kind of heart is largely absent from “Spiderman 3.” Related to this is Raimi’s desire to keep every bit exciting, even if no action is happening, which often only ends in bizarre cheesiness. While it is admittedly humorous to watch emo badboy Parker hit on women (after being taken over by the symbiote), one can’t help but think that Raimi is overreaching for a laugh.

“Spiderman 3” is certainly bigger and more impressive than the prequels. While it loses some of its emotional oomph, it still entertains. If this is any indication of the months to come, we’ve got a lot to look forward to.

Grade: B+

KC Masterpiece Bids farewell

This is it. We have both finished our classes, and the sun beckons. Finals are a danger looming in the near future, but summer is calling and its siren song is far sweeter than the insistent pull of the science building or Olin. People are getting shot by pellet guns as cars drive by. It is officially the beginning of summer. Let the hedonistic revelries begin.

By the time you read this, you will already have stripped naked and run around Ankeny, despite your former protestations that you would never in a million years embarrass yourself like that. And the next day, you would have run Beer Mile as well. You might have even attended your first Beta formal. You may or may not have fallen in love recently. You might have watched your first duckling waddle its fat little way towards Lakum Dukum—finally, the rape has reaped its rewards.

Whitman is so full of life. Children flock to the campus in blue shirts for no explicable reason. People watch “Top Gun.”
Each different group and organization has a banquet in its own honor—people get embarrassing awards. The police break up at least three parties on Isaacs, and seniors start crying in the middle of Reid.

Ah, spring.

Soon we shall all go our separate ways. Some of us shall remain here in Walla Walla for reasons unbeknownst even to ourselves. Some of you shall return to civilization or Yakima. Amazing trips might happen in the future. After surviving their first year of college, freshmen shall return home, bright-eyed, and suddenly find that their high school friends really aren’t cool anymore. Their summer will be duller than they imagined and they will cry for Whitman. Seniors, having survived all of college, will all probably go to a random country. Forty-five percent will contract a random disease. Some of you might even get jobs. Sophomores and juniors will research biology or sleep.

However, if you wish your summer to have at least some excitement in it, please take to heart the following advice. KC Masterpiece would like to present our final list for the year: Scintillating Stuff To Do Over The Summer.

1. Cancer. Tanning is always in. That near death look is so hot right now.

2. Road Trip. Visit your school friends. Your high school friends won’t like you that much anymore. Also, it’s a great excuse to see the rest of Eastern Washington. Or, god forbid, the California coast.

3. Flee. You know those people you’ve been unsuccessfully trying to avoid all year? Good chance is that they don’t live in your hometown. If you were foolish enough to hook up with someone that is from your hometown, there are always mercenaries for hire.

4. Have Sex. Dear god, have sex. It’s summer. Hook up with that kid from your high school that you had a crush on, but who sort of has turned into a tool. You’ll feel like you have closure, but you won’t get too attached. Which leads into:

5. Have A Fling. Relationships with expiration dates can be liberating. Do whatever the hell you want. Use them. (This works even better if they’re from a foreign country.)

6. Work. A lame option, but a necessary one. Also, there are few things more exciting than cashing in a pay check or running your hands through a basket of money. Especially when you’ve crushed someone’s spirit in order to do so.

7. Birth Control. Work at a summer camp. You’ll get paid (vaguely), and you’ll never want to reproduce again.

8. Wallow. In your angst, in your bed, in your own filth, it doesn’t matter. Just complain while you’re doing it.

9. Watch Bad T.V. You’ve been studying all year, you have so much to catch up on. Coyote Ugly now has a reality show. Start with that.

10. Be Spoiled. Get your mom to make you sandwiches or lemonade. Your parents will probably want to pamper you (unless, of course, you’ve just graduated, in which case they’ll be dropping strong hints about you moving out of the basement). Take complete advantage of this. If they get annoyed, reminisce about your childhood until they get nostalgic. Then ask for ice cream.

11. Wreak Havoc. It’s better if there are fireworks and several laws involved.

12. Harry Potter. Who the fuck is going to die? Read the book, and then don’t stop talking about it for at least two weeks, especially around people who haven’t read it yet.

13. Bitch. All the anger has been accumulating in your system for a year, and unless you have a handy column to unleash in, you probably need to release some tension. Siblings are perfect for this.

14. Shower.

15. Cow Tip. Oh, come on. You know you’ve always wanted to.

What else is summer for but to revert to your most childish instincts? After you graduate and/or get someone pregnant, you’re going to need to think about the future. For now, just frolic.

Dragfest’s message impared by atmosphere, students say

Drinking, dancing detract from event’s serious message

Men in dresses and women sporting usually male-associated clothing flocked to Reid Campus Center on Friday night to celebrate Dragfest. Dragfest is a dance party, the last event of drag week—an attempt to familiarize students with what it means to be transgender and to raise awareness about issues surrounding transgender people and those that dress in drag.

Other events during Drag Week included a make-up session that was poorly attended and a transgender panel that took place on Tuesday night. While the dance can be a great way for students to begin the weekend, there are students that have objections to the concept or presentation of the dance party.

“The dance seems to be great fun for everyone. My point hinges on the fact that there’s a political goal involved.” -Alex Falcone

“The dance seems to be great fun for everyone. My point hinges on the fact that there’s a political goal involved,” said Alex Falcone, senior. Some students expressed that the ability of the dance party to raise awareness of the students on this issue is very low.
“I think the fact that it’s a drinking and a dancing party takes away from any political point you could possibly make. I think Drag Day would be a lot more effective,” said Falcone.

Some students believe that the dance party is just an excuse for people to get drunk and wear revealing clothing, making a parody out of the whole concept behind the dance. In order to have a more successful week during which students reflect on issues of transgender people, Kyle Martz suggested that more attention be paid to the activities other than the dance. In an e-mail, Martz said he is “a major advocate of a strong emphasis on the events leading up to the dance party itself.”

Fraternities respond to sexual misconduct survey

Since the release of the results of a recent sexual misconduct survey, Whitman’s fraternity leaders have begun seeking solutions to a problem that has gone unaddressed for too long.

The survey, which was covered in the Pioneer’s April 26 issue, reported that 78.6 percent of aggressors in incidents of forced vaginal intercourse were greek males. Additionally, 44.6 percent of female victims who reported an incident of sexual misconduct were sorority members.

The survey was modeled after a Campus Safety Survey developed at WSU that was released last spring. The numbers reflect student experiences during their time at Whitman College. In the case of seniors, the incident they report could have taken place as long as four years ago, or as recently as this year.

“I felt embarrassment and shame. I don’t want to be associated with a group or system that does those sorts of things,” said Tau Kappa Epsilon President Craig Yuen in reaction to this survey

“I was glad the information came out,” said Beta Theta Pi President Nick Blanc. “Now we can look at the data and know the truth instead of relying on rumors.”

“When the statistics came out, it didn’t seem like some people were concerned for our own safety. It was pretty disturbing,” said Blanc.

Blanc and Yuen believe that the fraternity system will be able to find solutions to a complex issue.
“Fraternities are in a unique position because they have a framework for enforcement that allows us to identify exactly what sexual harassment is and what factors are involved,” said IFC President Jeff Wilson.

“Each house has its own judicial procedure by which they make known and enforce their fraternity’s policies,” said Wilson.

“What’s most important is that we have an ongoing discussion,” said Yuen. “Often, guys behave in certain ways that make girls feel uncomfortable and they don’t even realize their behavior is inappropriate.”

“It would help to give greek women who feel violated an outlet in their sororities so they can get the information back to us,” said Yuen. “As it is now, sexual misconduct is reported on a strictly confidential basis, so our organization doesn’t hear about it.”

Associate Dean of Students and Sexual Misconduct Response Coordinator Barbara Maxwell pointed out that even if fraternities do not receive information about specific incidents, this does not excuse them of their responsibility to take action. “There are two components to dealing with sexual misconduct, response and prevention or early intervention,” said Maxwell. “Whitman’s great at response, but we have to put more emphasis on prevention.”

Blanc hopes to put in measures that will increase vigilance by members within the house so they can recognize situations in advance and act accordingly. “The events happen, but we don’t see them,” said Blanc. “It’s our job to be there to stop it.”

Greek leaders acknowledge that one of the most important factors contributing to sexual misconduct is alcohol. Beta Theta Pi has created a new position within the house known as the Sober Social Chair. This officer will not only be responsible for holding dry social functions, but they will be present and sober at all functions where alcohol might be present so they can respond to potentially dangerous situations.

“The idea is that they can monitor the situation, as well as keeping an eye on traffic into living quarters,” said Blanc.

“Less alcohol at functions means that incidents of sexual misconduct might not be as extreme,” said Wilson. “It increases the chances that someone might intervene before the situation is out of control.”
However, Wilson points out that in a recent survey the IFC conducted on greek and independent women indicated that many women did not believe it was the fraternity’s responsibility to monitor how much their guests drink. Nevertheless, fraternities continue to try to find solutions to address the clear link between alcohol and sexual misconduct.

The IFC survey is part of a larger effort on the fraternity’s part to become a more open environment for all students. “It will let us know how we might change our atmosphere or change our culture so that more people feel comfortable in our houses,” said Wilson. “It’s our own survey, and tailored to the two groups Whitman’s survey indicated were most affected: greek men and women.”

Thoughts from inside the tank

Once school gets out we will finally have time to notice what we’re filling ourselves up with. Last night you filled up your head studying for finals. This morning, cereal. Rehearsal. Lunch. Chem final. An afternoon pit stop for e-mails and yogurt parfait.

I can never remember the end of the school year. This is why. We’re all doing so much there’s no boring time to just sit and digest it.

My mother is visiting; she’s in awe of our campus life. She sees students walking, meandering, biking with books or with friends or in Whitman cycling team spandex, moving across campus in every direction. Like fish in a tank, she says. (Should I be offended? So our campus trees are the algae, the library maybe some model ship where busy fish groups congregate.) My mom sees students sprawled on red couches in Reid, so wrapped in thought we don’t notice that someone is seeing our world. “What are they thinking?” she wonders.

What are we thinking?

I’m thinking about things inside the tank. I’m thinking about my Fridays at 4 concert, wanting it to be good for housemates and friends I begged to come. Gauging how much time I can spend reading e-mails. Worrying about saying proper goodbyes. Catching glimpses of campus crushes. Smelling the lilacs. How can such small things add up to make me feel so busy?

A great thing happened in Don Snow’s class last week. For a class that normally discusses small things, Don brought in an essay called Forget the Whales–Save the Earth that ran in the LA Times on Earth Day. In this essay, Hal Clifford writes that environmentalism is dead. Cleaning up beaches doesn’t matter if glacial melting will flood them anyway. My class transformed–instead of dissecting sentences we plunged into global issues. What would happen if people took Clifford’s argument seriously and gave up on small-scale efforts? What does it even mean to act on a global level?

We talked about what’s happening outside the tank. We left behind our Whitman pond for an ocean of environmental politics and global warming propaganda. It felt good to think about.

It renewed my faith in small things, too. That class full of people who care about writing can jump into a big discussion about what’s happening on the globe. Don still believes in the efforts of small groups of people with localized issues; I believe all this small stuff we fill up our heads with on campus has its place in the bigger picture.

I can’t wait to have time to sit back and think about where the spring has gone. I like what Thoreau says about processing thoughts: that by documenting what we’re thinking about, we can see our thoughts in unified patterns and turn the page instead of repeating old processes. Once school’s out, we’ll have time to digest and turn the page to bigger things: global warming, graduation, summer.

Harvey discusses meal plan changes with students

Whitman’s recent revamping of meal plans has created quite a stir. Some 50 students came to the recent Town Hall meeting to discuss their opinions of the changes and Treasurer/Chief Financial Officer Peter Harvey was there to explain and to listen.

“Over the past five years, the financial arrangements have become challenging for Bon Appetit. … About five years ago they were making in the four to five percent range, but that’s been steadily declining,” said Harvey. “In fact, last year they lost money, about $30,000, and they expect to lose the same amount, if not more, this year.”

Harvey said some of the factors contributing to Bon Appetit’s profit loss are Washington’s increase in the minimum wage, Bon Appetit’s use of locally grown and organic, sustainable foods, and the introduction of flex dollars when Reid Campus Center was built.

Bon Appetit’s recent use of local, organic foods, while encouraged by the students is, “frankly, more expensive,” said Harvey.

With Dean of Students Chuck Cleveland, Harvey told Bon Appetit that Whitman would help raise the food service’s earnings back to a profitable level.

“We wouldn’t get there all in one year, but we wanted to work with them over the course of a few years. We wanted alternatives to help make that happen that were not only reliant on raising student’s fees,” said Harvey.

The current meal plans are causing Bon Appetit to lose money because of a measure in the business model called the “Lost Meal Factor.”

“When they create these plans, they know full and well that not all students will use all their meals … it’s called the Lost Meal Factor,” said Harvey.

The Lost Meal Factor used to be about 30 percent, which Harvey said was too high. Whitman wanted to give more value back to students, so they implemented the A, B and C meal plan choices familiar to the student body today.

But the efforts to correct the Lost Meal Factor worked too well. “The Lost Meal Factor went down to five to 10 percent. Quite honestly, it went a lot further than we expected .… Students say ‘I bought those meals, I should be able to use them.’ And I totally get that, but the pricing didn’t assume that they would eat them all.”

“The culture of the students has changed since they realized that it [multiple swiping] was available. And that culture has evolved to giving those meals to off-campus students who are not on a meal plan. That was not the intent,” said Harvey.

As a result, multiple swiping has been banned. However, students may still use flex dollars to pay for guests’ meals, as they have been for the past five years.

Harvey wanted Bon Appetit to be involved in the development of the alternatives to be used in addition to price raising, so he asked for their ideas.

“Some of [the ideas] were quite frankly just in conflict with our program and admission goals for the college … like stopping the delivery of meals to the Interest Houses,” he said.

Whitman understands the extra labor costs of delivering meals to the IHC, but feels that such a change would infringe upon an important part of the college community.

“Two issues they identified that we felt would have the least impact and still save some money were multiple swiping and the hours of Reid’s café, said Harvey. We decided we would shut it down between 2 and 5 p.m. and at 9 p.m. on weeknights, but 11 p.m. on weekends to support the current coffeehouse and other things going on there on the weekends. Quite frankly we think Bon Appetit has been wonderful in customizing their program to meet our unique needs,” said Harvey.

Bon Appetit has raised next semester’s meal plan prices by six percent and looks to save about one percent by implementing the new measures.

Two students shot at by passing truck with BB gun bullets

On Monday evening, two students riding home on their bikes were shot at from a passing truck. Juniors Sarah McCarthy and Kyle Bain were at the corner of Howard and Lincoln, near Alder, between 11:30 p.m. and midnight. A blue or black truck drove up and they heard loud popping noises—pellets shot from a BB gun.

“I know it wasn’t a real gun but it was kind of disturbingly close, pellet guns can kill people,” said McCarthy.

“I let go of my handlebars to cover my ears,” said Bain.

Their initial reaction was confusion. They were disoriented.

“We didn’t really flight or fight,” said McCarthy. McCarthy was hit in the leg by one of the 10 shots fired. The pellet broke her skin, drawing blood.

“It felt like something bit me hard,” she said.

McCarthy and Bain proceeded to the Welty Health Center where McCarthy was treated. They called campus security from the Health Center. The officer who answered their call was a stand-in who is on-call and fills in at the security office when needed. He talked to the students and called the police but did not file a report. The police informed the officer that several other reports had been made that evening of similar incidents. No police officer came to the Welty center to talk to the students in person.

Craig McKinnon, the associate director of security at Whitman, expressed his surprise at how the incident was handled. “I’m surprised the police didn’t come; even for a minor theft they will come. This was an assault, that is very bizarre,” said McKinnon. McKinnon said that typically the security officer on duty will file a report. No report, however, was filed. McKinnon pointed out that the incident was off-campus and the police were called as two possible explanations for this oversight.

Over the course of his 26 years at Whitman, McKinnon has noticed a trend in higher crime and theft rates at the end of the year.

“It’s kind of like a full moon kind of a thing, typically the end of the school year we see a higher rate of thefts and other incidents,” said McKinnon.

He warned students to watch their possessions. “Right now we’re going to start seeing, if the students aren’t particularly careful … stuff disappearing on campus. Our theft rate is practically nil in November, December, January.”

The Whitman community has been very supportive of the students. McCarthy and Bain have received many e-mails from students and faculty expressing their support.

This is not the first hate crime experienced by Whitman students this year. A student’s car was vandalized after she performed in the “Vagina Monologues.” There have also been multiple accounts of students having fruit and eggs, among other things, thrown at them from passing cars.

Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of McCarthy and Bain’s night was the spirit in which the incident occurred. “All we heard was them laughing, and I think they were just, you know, having a weird, fun time?” said Bain. Is this reflective of Whitman-Walla Walla relations?

Seasons end for IM softball and women’s fastpitch team

Last weekend the Whitman women’s club fastpitch softball team co-hosted a tournament with Walla Walla College.

Whitman’s team played four games and lost all of them. These games brought the season to an end for the team.

“We don’t win many games because we’re such a new team. We have few experienced players. But we have a lot of fun, and last weekend we were hitting really well,” said Junior Kim Hooyboer.
Although the team has been on-again-off-again basis since its creation, during the last two years it has been particularly strong.

Current senior Laura Sanchez and juniors Hooyboer, Breanna Adams and Joscelyn Barden started to bring the club back to its active competing status in 2005.

Since there were enough participating women this semester, the team was able to travel for the first time. On April 14-15 the team traveled to Moscow, Idaho and played teams such as Boise State and the University of Idaho over the weekend.

Walla Walla College alumna Amanda Heimbigner coached the team this year and last year. “Amanda and her family have been indispensable,” said Hooyboer.

Heimbigner and her family have provided the team with coaching and equipment during the past two years.

The team does not receive much funding, but they have to cover the costs of umpires, new balls for every game, travel costs and tournament interest fees.

The team does not have enough money to buy equipment, so the women rely on their own personal gear.

This semester the team has been stepping up its fund-raising efforts. Team members sold cookies and, for the first time ever, hosted a “man-auction.”

The team came up with the “man-auction” idea one day before it took place. The team auctioned off dates to a taco truck to the highest bidders.

“I’m really proud of the team. We’ve grown a lot even if we’re not winning. The girls on the team make it all worth it,” said Hoobyboer.

“I’m really satisfied with the team. It has been a really positive experience,” said team captain Sanchez.

Sanchez said that this year worked out well especially regarding field space. Last year the team had some difficulties sharing the field with IM softball teams. This year the IM softball season ended before the tournament last weekend.

This year 10 teams competed in Whitman’s IM softball competition.

The team named Mammaries, led by Phalkun Mam, won the IM softball finals.

The Drama Club’s traditional team, the Makitas, once again made themselves well-known with their team t-shirts and raunchy cheer: “Drinking, smoking, Theater too. Go Makitas, screw you!”

Junior Forrest Seamons, captain of the Makitas, explained that the cheer is not meant to be offensive to other teams. “Makitas is a screw gun,” said Seamons.

Seamons admitted that the Makitas was not a good team this year. “We don’t win games,” said Seamons. But for most of the players, the team is about “having fun, making fun of ourselves,” said Seamons.

Cycling team heads to national championships

On May 10, Whitman cycling will be defending its two-year hold on the Division II overall team omnium title. The Whitman cycling team flew to the national road championships in Lawrence, Kan. yesterday, May 9, for a three-day omnium.

In the Northwest Collegiate Cycling Conference, Whitman garnered 5005 total points. The team came in second to Western Washington University, who will also be flying to nationals, who finished with 7037. Whitman’s men’s team will have a formidable challenge with the Western men’s team, which outscored the Whitman men by 1,062 points.

The omnium will start with a 12 mile team time trial on Friday, followed by a 84.6 mile road race for men and 56.4 mile race for women that circumnavigates Perry Lake in Kansas. The final event will be the criterium in downtown Lawrence.

Whitman cycling will be relying on the strength and prowess of junior Mara Abbott to get her fourth gold medal in a row for the overall individual title. Abbott, recently won her first professional stage race at the Tour of Gila in New Mexico this last weekend. The team is looking to use Abbott to pull her fellow female Whitman riders into good position to get more points in the general classification.

Other riders to look out for are junior Chris Thomas, first-year Duncan McGovern, first-year Kendi Thomas and senior Rebecca Jensen.

With five first-years already going to Nationals, including successful Nordic skier Devon Spika, the team’s future looks bright.

“Having five freshmen go to national shows the team has a lot of depth and that we’re just going to continue to grow,” said first-year Duncan McGovern.

Going into the weekend, it is difficult to know which team to look out for. McGovern said, “We’ll have a better idea of who our competition is after the time trial.” In particular, he named Western Washington and Dartmouth as two potential rivals.

The awards ceremony will follow the last criterium at 1 p.m. on Sunday. For more information and standings on the collegiate national road championships, visit usacycling.org.

Car vandalism unnerves students

On April 26, exactly one week after this year’s opening night of “Vagina Monologues” at Whitman, senior Mindy* walked home from the library to find the words “Your vagina lips are loose” sprawled out in red paint on the front and driver’s side window of her car.

“I kind of just stood there and looked at it and looked at it. It sort of shook me up,” said Mindy, who performed in the “Monologues” a week before.

Mindy’s car had been parked on the corner of Merriam and Cyprus Streets, outside the house where the cast party for the “Vagina Monologues” had been held the previous Saturday. It was difficult to discern what the message meant or who it was intended for.

“I immediately wanted to know who did this and why,” said Mindy. “I’m not sure what I want the answers to those questions to be, or if it’s something I even want to know. I mean, it’s hard to tell what the statement was. I don’t want it to be personal, but it’s almost sadder if it wasn’t.”

Mindy sent an e-mail to first-year Gabriela Salvidea, who produced the “Vagina Monologues” this year. Salvidea forwarded the e-mail to the “Vagina Monologues” listserv and sent a general e-mail to the student and community listservs voicing her concern.

“I immediately got a ton of responses from students and faculty members who were both supportive and outraged and offered services,” said Salvidea.

Many of the e-mails Salvidea received urged Mindy to go to the police and report the incident as a hate crime.

“At this point I don’t think the goal was to ever find out who it was but to instead kind of bring the incident to the community’s attention and make people talk about it,” said Salvidea.

Mindy did not report the incident to the police, although she did fill out a report on the Whitman College Web site.

“What you’re supposed to do if you want to report [vandalism as a hate crime] is take a bunch of pictures of it, have witnesses look at it, sign statements that they’ve seen it and then go to the police. That’s rough, I think, because your instinct is to make it go away,” said junior Beth Frieden who performed with Mindy in the “Vagina Monologues.”

Whitman Security Director Craig McKinnon said that this is the first incident of vandalism in years that has been evidently hateful in nature.

“Since 10 years ago there has been a dramatic change from what used to occur. There used to be slanderous stuff written on bathroom stalls about students that you don’t see anymore. Students used to have their projects destroyed with notes posted on them,” said McKinnon, who has worked at Whitman for 26 years. “When this instance occurred I was shocked because it hasn’t been something that occurs here, and when it happens, you know you’ve got somebody who’s got a serious problem and they really need to be sat down so you can find out what’s going on with them. If it can’t be fixed then they shouldn’t be here, in my personal opinion.”

McKinnon is on the committee for Whitman’s Action Against Hate (AAH), which was formed in 2003 to provide resources and information for victims of hate and bias incidents.

Students have voiced concerns that AAH is not particularly well-known on campus and that many people would not know where to go if they witnessed or were victim to a hate or bias incident. To raise awareness, AAH has proposed a hate and bias crime policy which is in the process of getting passed.
“[This policy] is a big part of what I think is lacking at Whitman. We have no hate or bias crime or incident policy right now. We’ve been trying to get it passed for almost three years, but the faculty members that need to pass it won’t pass it for some reason,” said sophomore Julia Leavitt, a student member of AAH.

“It just seems strange that there is no policy already in place. We have this whole sexual harassment policy and that’s pretty similar,” said Frieden. “Yeah, the government can prosecute it, but if the person doesn’t want to bring it to the police, they should be able to bring it to the College and have the College condemn it as well.”
McKinnon is optimistic.

“We’re working with faculty and we have a rough draft [of the policy] and we’re very close to actually having it finalized and put in the books,” McKinnon said. “We get a report about once every two weeks or three weeks; it just depends on what’s occurring and who knows about it. Once we start getting flyers out and pamphlets out so it’s more noticeable, that will wake people up.”

Although some have suggested that steps be taken by the College to instigate discussion about possible negative reactions to the “Vagina Monologues,” neither Frieden nor Salvidea is convinced that such a program would be practical.

“To me [the vandalism] seems so childish and immature and pathetic that I don’t know that there’s anything sophisticated we could do stop people from doing things like this. I mean, would someone who resorts to graffiti even attend some discussion or panel about these issues? Their reaction was not intellectual or constructive; I wonder if they would engage in a different reaction,” said Salvidea.
Frieden doubts what discussion could feasibly stem from this incident.

“I can’t really see what kind of discussion there would be. If the college were to run a discussion it would be like, ‘This is bad, don’t do it,’” she said.

Alumnus Dylan Carlson (’05) raised concerns about the way that the incident has been discussed among students on various listservs.

“When you use the words ‘hate crime’ and ‘hate speech’ together it creates the idea that there can be criminal speech. If you want to call it vandalism, call it vandalism. If you want to call it harassment, call it harassment. But you start getting into shady territory when you start to become comfortable with the idea of criminal speech,” said Carlson, who also had concern that anyone would be made to feel violated on Whitman’s campus.

However, most who voiced opinions on the incident felt that awareness about hate crimes deserved more attention in general. Mindy hopes that her experience can shed light on hatred against women, especially at Whitman.

“I think the big thing about this is knowing that this shit happens. We need to be aware of what’s happening to women on Whitman’s campus even today. We think we’re so progressive, but we’re not,” she said.

McKinnon emphasized that hate is a major problem that will continue to need work.

“If we didn’t have hate, this whole world would be fine,” he said. “If hate wasn’t there, we’d be a utopia. The more that we work on that, the more we get there with that, but it’s going to take a lot of time to get the whole world in sync on this.”

* Name has been changed by request to protect identity.

‘Lucky You’ presents Las Vegas poker film with Drew Barrymore

Las Vegas is a city created by the movies. In terms of the number of movies that have portrayed a city consciously (as opposed to say, Los Angeles, where all movies are set), it’s second only to New York City and Paris. Always decadent and glitzy, Las Vegas can be glamorous (“Ocean’s 11”), miserable (“Leaving Las Vegas”), or another world entirely (“Fear and Loathing…”). It’s curious, then, that Curtis Hanson’s new movie “Lucky You” makes it none of these. Hanson treats the city like a throwaway backdrop for the bland romantic comedy story of a skilled and compulsive gambler and the Girl Who Could Change Him. But if there’s one thing the movies have taught us, it’s that Las Vegas isn’t bland.

Eric Bana stars as Huck Cheever, a go-for-broke “blaster” at the poker table who rolls with the big boys, never sleeps and is scared only of his father, the two-time world poker champion L.C. Cheever (Robert Duvall). Huck, as his father points out, lives his life the way he should play poker, and plays poker the way he should live his life—until a demure little thing named Billie (Drew Barrymore) shows up at a party one night.

As played by Barrymore, Billie is an inexplicably naive and goofy girl, just in from Bakersfield to start her career as a nightclub singer. (Every girl who’s ever won a guy in Vegas has been either a nightclub singer or a prostitute.) At first it seems like the only reason Huck would be interested in her is because she’s Drew Barrymore, and everyone seems to like Drew Barrymore despite the fact that she’s never played anyone other than—guess what?—Drew Barrymore (saying all of your lines through a smirk is not acting!). But when he steals $1,200 from her as gambling capital after their first night together, we realize not only what really drives Huck, but what the movie is really about. And on the one hand, that’s a good thing, because Huck’s relationship with his father is infinitely more interesting than anything involving Barrymore; but, like the city on screen, the whole movie is sterilized down to the intensity of a good TV movie, and even Duvall’s predictably fierce performance can’t give the father-son story the fire it needs.

The poker scenes, it should be said, are well done even if they may leave most novices in the dust, since Hanson seems to know that all poker in the movies really amounts to is people staring intently at each other. Bana has a fine, confident gaze, and it’s fun to see how the looks of his various opponents stack up. Many real-life poker stars make appearances throughout the movie, so the table scenes feel genuine and sportsmanlike.

And to the degree that “Lucky You” is a generic sports movie, Hanson does a commendable job of avoiding a predictable climax. I was reminded of Mamet’s survival story “The Edge,” in which the real denouement isn’t a flashy showdown in the forest, but a simple exchange of wristwatches. Hanson knows what his story is about, and isn’t afraid to sidestep winning and losing. The only problem is all the other stuff that gets mixed in, like the silly romance with Barrymore. Once she recedes into the background (she’s seen as literally just one of the crowd at the final championship poker match), we realize that Barrymore’s Billie is all too clearly stuck in just so that Huck has someone to explain the game to. At their first round of cards together, Huck seems none too pleased to have to go over the rules of Texas Hold ‘Em with Billie, and we in the audience just feel patronized.

This is a small movie, and it will please poker fans, but if Hanson isn’t prepared to go anywhere gritty—to show us the violent, desperate Las Vegas that Huck’s neuroses hint at—he shouldn’t bother stooping to make it user-friendly. Great movies ask the viewer to rise to their level; they don’t tone down the city of sin.

Grade: D

This week in ASWC

Except for incoming President Jeff Wilson, next year’s ASWC Executive Council will be comprised of a rookie group of student leaders. For this week’s column I interviewed the outgoing and incoming Presidents Eric Whelitz and Jeff Wilson and outgoing and incoming Finance Chairs, the lovely and dedicated Ajay Abraham and Elliott Okantey.

These are two of the most central positions in ASWC, the President being the only member of the EC who sits in on most if not all ASWC committees and is the student liaison between alumni, faculty and the administration and the Finance Chair who heads the committee that is the most central to the actual business of ASWC, giving people money.

Senior Ajay Abraham has held his chairmanship for two years now, through good times and very bad times (read: the Co-Op), but this year he was especially pleased with the committee he got to work with. Throughout his tenure as finance chair Abraham has always worked towards protecting ASWC recognized clubs. “One of my stated goals has always been to protect clubs.” This overarching goal has provided numerous rewards as well as challenges for the outgoing chair.

Senator Okantey, on the other hand, has a decidedly different outlook on his chairmanship of the Finance Committee. His interests lie in looking towards the administration and the costs that ASWC shares with them. This seems fitting in the seemingly EC-wide bid to increase the transparency of ASWC. Interestingly enough, nobody ran against either Okantey or Abraham in their bids for the chairmanship. “What makes me think I can do this? No one ran against me, I have the mandate of the people,” Okantey joked.

The role of President is a difficult one for the type of person it would seem to attract. The President is the facilitator, the communicator and the conduit through which a lot of information is filtered through to the students. This fit outgoing President Eric Whelitz very well. “I think a lot of what I’ve accomplished is really subtle and really hard to put a finger on. It could be creating the opportunity for people to speak in Senate. I mean you’ll often find that in past years that conversation would be dominated by four or five individuals and I think this year its been really amazing to see more people branch out.”

Having sat in on a number of Senate and Policy committee meetings incoming I have observed President Jeff Wilson in action; he is a skilled debater and clear thinker with very definite opinions on matters. Making the shift from advocate to a roughly neutral leader will be an interesting road for Wilson to traverse.
However, Wilson is approaching the coming year with an abundance of excitement and drive. When asked what exactly he was looking forward to in the coming year Wilson answered, “There is so much I’m excited about. I’m excited about everything!” He is looking forward to increasing the transparency of ASWC by harnessing the media powers that already exist in both print, like the Pioneer and in a new twist over at KWCW.

Next year you will be well-served by your student leaders. They are a capable and enthusiastic bunch that are just waiting to hear your ideas on how to make our campus a better place. Please don’t hesitate to shoot them an e-mail, chat them up in Reid or even leave a note on their desk in the ASWC office. Trust me—they are listening and if the idea is good you will see results.

Gender distinctions blur at Dragfest

For Dusti Thurman, President of Coalition Against Homophobia, Dragfest marked the ending of a very successful week. “This, I think, is the first time we’ve successfully pulled off drag week,” said Thurman. “Our Transpanel brought in a lot of people.”
As Drag Week’s crowning glory, Dragfest is the playful ending to a week dedicated to broadening people’s conception of gender. “Dragfest is primarily a fun event. At the same time, however, it shows how gender is much more fluid than most people think,” said Thurman.

Proving gender’s ability to be fluid were the hundreds of people who showed up to the event wearing clothes from the opposite genders; following the event’s theme of “Alice in Wonderland,” men came dressed up as Alices while women came dressed up as Mad Hatters.

For junior Amy Kesler, the importance of Dragfest lies in its ability to counteract sexism. “Dragfest is important because so much of society is of the mindset that people can do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t affect them. This belief is just another form of sexism.”

This belief is shared by Ben Gannon, who feels that the event is a freeing experience. “Dragfest is a great event because it gives men the opportunity to put on dresses and still feel safe.”

To most people, however, Dragfest is simply about dressing up, getting drunk and having a good time.

Sharing the sentiments of many Whitties, Leslie Beach, dressed up as a pirate, passionately expressed her love for the event: “Dragfest is fantastic. It is my absolute favorite event of the year.”
This sentiment was echoed shortly afterwards by Gordon Hansen, who said that the event was a big “part of the reason [he] decided to come to Whitman.”

Whether people are just having fun or trying to make a statement, Dragfest is a mind-blowing, gender-bending experience.
For Anon Levy, a sophomore living in the Fine Arts House, the event helped to view life from a guy’s perspective. “Being a guy makes me feel more comfortable. It also makes me wonder what type of girl I’d like had I been born a guy. I like being a guy, I wish I’d been born one,” Levy said.

For Celi Schoenike, dressing up as a guy was a matter of convenience. “I love not worrying about my purse. The pockets of my guy’s pants are big enough to be two of my purses,” she said.

Perhaps the event’s most interesting effect is its ability to blur the distinction between man and woman. By the end of the night, the barriers between genders began to erase as few cared to remember who was what.

This effect was arguably best expressed by Kirstin Wiant, who, after coming out of the women’s bathroom, looked very confused. “I’m a guy and I was in just in a girl’s bathroom.”

Being ‘right’ Conservative women, speak up!

Two weeks ago, Whitman College Republicans elected their new leaders. As I sat at the table in the back room of Prentiss surrounded by this group of males (there were two non-voting visitors, both female—one being my friend, the other, a guy’s girlfriend), I realized something that had previously escaped my cognizance: I am the only female in this organization.

This recent dawning of my sole presence in the College Republicans led me to question why that was so and to question whether it was even an issue of enough relevance to be addressed. In fact, in the past I’ve joked about it with friends. I’ve made fun of it with club members. But I never really considered the implications of my lone female status until the election meeting. And now it weighed heavily on me.

It got me thinking, Where are the conservative women at Whitman? Am I the only one?

I have talked with a lot of people since my Elaine Brown column who have agreed with my suggestion for more political dialogue on campus. I have also received e-mails thanking me for pointing this out. To everyone who contacted me, thank you very much.

What’s interesting and meaningful to me, however, is that everyone with whom I’ve recently spoken about elevating dialogue are 1) mostly liberal women, 2) a few liberal men, and 3) those who have conservative leanings happen to be all men. A gnawing observation, I have yet to speak or meet an openly conservative woman here on campus.

Are all Whitman women cut from the same liberal cloth sharing identical political ideology? This of course cannot be so. It must not be so. However, I cannot dismiss my inclination to believe the vast majority of women at Whitman are liberal. Although not all. Nothing is ever all.

So then, I am driven to inquire, if there are conservative women on campus, where are they? Why are they so invisible? Besides me, why has not a single one joined the Republican Club? Have we scared you away? Are we irrelevant to your college experience? Have we made you feel unwelcome? Are you afraid of openly owning and expressing your intellectual and political convictions?

As someone who has placed herself directly in the line of fire, I promise you two things: 1) there are worst things in the world than having an unpopular opinion, one being to perpetually stifle yourself in an effort to get people to like you, and 2) I encourage you to speak out and be free of stultifying fears that rob you of public political expression, because I will stand with you.

If you are a woman who tends to lean on the pro-life side, know this, I am with you. If you are a woman who feels as if feminists have distorted issues, I am with you. If you are a woman who believes in fundamental conservative values (not necessarily current Republican values) of small government, low taxes, and states rights, I agree with you. If you are a woman who is told “you are wrong” for your conservative views, I will be “wrong” with you. If you are a woman and describe yourself as a conservative, know that I am a woman and I am a conservative. I AM A CONSERVATIVE WOMAN.

Please stand up. I need to hear your voice.

Like everyone here, I am an on an intellectual journey and though I may make a wrong turn every now and again, I am actively out there, searching for answers and trying to engage and find my place in the world, especially politically.

I want Whitman students to begin to engage more in their political world. When I said that I wanted Whitman to begin truly thinking by engaging with the “other side,” that being the conservative side, I meant it.

Next year, I intend to start a new club for members of all political leanings—a club for all of us to freely discuss all political topics of interest. I want this club to be the liaison between the Whitman College Republicans and Young Democrats. This club will solely work to provide forums in which all Whitman students can share in the issues of the day, even conservative women, and be welcomed. This club will seek people who have willing ears to listen to both sides, will do its best to attend not only the conservative political conferences but the liberal ones as well, and will work towards fostering debate through the use of bringing in diverse political speakers. This club will keep the dialogue going.

Conservatives and liberals alike need to start talking with one another instead of hating each other for their differences. Tolerance works both ways. Diversity means ideas—not just skin color, ethnic roots, or economic background. Frequently, I’ve noticed in my own life that sometimes I say I believe in something because that’s how I was raised or that’s what conservatives are supposed to think. People do this all the time. Let’s stop that. Let’s search for the answers and listen to the sides before making a decision. Let’s work towards being open to varying ideas rather than what is considered “conservative” or “liberal.”

With the creation of this club, I will not, however, leave the Whitman College Republicans, because I will not allow this organization to represent my ideologies without having a single, female representative. So right now I am inviting and urging conservative women to rise up and be heard. Our club needs you and so does our college community.

If there is a liberal out there who agrees with me on this one thing only—dialogue—then please contact me and let’s work towards making this club unbiased and helpful to the Whitman community. And the last thing I want to say is, Young Democrats, get it together. Our college community needs you to begin to be active again. The Republicans are ready for the debate. Let’s get it on!

CON: Dragfest distracts from CAH’s message

Every year, we at Whitman celebrate the various incarnations of sexual diversity. We celebrate it for one week, and afterwards the community that brought us the informative lectures and the Saturnalia of music and dance in Reid disappears back into the obscurity from which it came. One wonders if Dragfest—and by extension, Drag Week—is effective, or if it has become another excuse to drink, be merry and, above all, be shocking.

The lack of gravity seen during Drag Week is indicative of this phenomenon. How many people can say they saw the speakers brought by CAH? How many Whitties went to the Drag Week Writer’s Colony? The events surrounding Dragfest—those that engage our intellect—are ignored. Dragfest, the one event all week that engaged our common licentiousness, garnered the highest turnout by far. The attendees of Dragfest were not engaged in critical or even thoughtful discussion about the lack of alternative sexual culture at Whitman. It’s possible that the thought of that absence crossed only a handful of minds during the course of the night. If the attendees were considering the issues CAH was hoping they would consider, they kept their thoughts to themselves, defeating the purpose of Dragfest altogether.

Some weeks ago, this periodical ran a series of articles about some of the issues surrounding GLBTQ culture at Whitman, and the facts contained in those articles pointed to the lack of “queer” culture at Whitman. Empirically speaking, Dragfest has not perceptibly increased the Whitman community’s exposure to the GLBTQ community.

Coalition Against Homophobia has sought to normalize the GLBTQ community and to combat what its advocates call “heteronormativity,” but Dragfest, unlike the rest of Drag Week, does not performatively uphold Coalition’s values. Dragfest has all of the color of the community from which it draws its name, but it fails to combat CAH’s anxiety over the overbearing “straight” culture of Whitman College. Instead, it reinforces it—for one night, dressing in drag isn’t just acceptable: it’s sexy. Instead of straight people coming to terms with their queer environment and learning to have fun, they have appropriated the atmosphere for themselves, eroding the character of their environment into something more akin to Beer Mile than a gay bar.

Perhaps it is this effect which causes the small, closely-knit GLBTQ community at Whitman to return underground in the morning. Dragfest has become the blunted spearhead of CAH, and the people it represents know Drag Week has only won them theoretical public acceptance.

Dragfest, despite its appeal to our sentiments (as opposed to our rationality), has been unable to generate critical significance, and while it has become one of the marked events of Whitman’s social landscape, it seems incapable of getting a real message across. Ineffectively communicated, Dragfest’s didactic purpose slips by the wayside, reducing the event to another excuse to party. While that isn’t necessarily harmful to anybody, it does render Dragfest virtually ineffective.

Thus the Coalition Against Homophobia finds itself in a double bind: should it drop the tradition of Dragfest, the event’s proponents would object, and for good reason: it annually draws attention to the goals and ideals of CAH, and people have a good time. But by continuing to champion an event that doesn’t help it achieve its goals, Coalition Against Homophobia will continue to play host to parasitic tradition.

Duckfest showcases student, community works of art

Whitman College has been invaded by ducks. Wooden ducks, that is.

As part of Whitman’s seventh annual Duckfest, participants are invited to create a piece of duck art to be placed around campus. Stevens Gallery curator
Shelby Blessing says the idea was drawn from other cities that showcased animal sculptures.

“The main idea behind it is to encourage as many community
members as possible to get involved with the gallery, and create art that can go all around campus,” said Blessing.

The Duckfest show differs from other Stevens Gallery shows because the art itself is not actually located in the gallery in Reid. In the gallery, viewers can find pictures of the art as well as maps with the names and locations of the art pieces.

Anyone is allowed to create a duck, including clubs, students, faculty and staff. Blessing said that most often, ducks are created by clubs. This year, the Campus Activities Board, the sorority Kappa Alpha Theta and the Co-Op all created ducks. Blessing said that it is common for first-years in residence halls to make them as a section and for professors and their families to do them together.

Margot Wielgus, another of the gallery’s curators, said her role in Duckfest involves passing out proposal forms to create a duck, purchasing wood and cutting it into duck shapes, distributing the duck forms and organizing the gallery presentation and maps.

Most participants paint on the wooden duck form directly, or add other materials to it in some way, but it is not required.

“We’ve had people take that wooden form before and chop it up and reconfigure
it in other ways,” said Blessing. “As long as it’s somehow a duck, it’s fine.”

Both Blessing and Wielgus’ favorite duck in the four years they have been curators did not involve the traditional duck form. The duck was “Duck and the Beanstalk,” created by the gallery committee, and “involved a very large wooden ogre duck in the tree on the west side of [Memorial] and a smaller Jack duck at the bottom,” said Wielgus.

Duckfest is well liked by the Whitman community, and honors the unusually high number of ducks running around campus.

“It also provides a reason for coming up with horrible duck puns, and those are always funny,” said Wielgus.

Some of the duck puns this year include “Quacketball Duck,” “Duck Tape,” “Friar Duck” and “You Quack Me Up.”

The concept of Duckfest is simple, but there are problems that arise, said Blessing.

“Sometimes the ducks get damaged, and especially during weekends when people are walking around inebriated on a Friday or Saturday night,” said Blessing.

“That’s when things tend to happen to the ducks.”

This year, rubber snakes that were draped on “Snakes on a Duck” were taken. Blessing said that fortunately, most of the snakes were found around campus and put back in place.

“I love Duckfest,” said sophomore Marty Skeels. “It makes me want to be a duck.”

“If readers are interested in doing this project, they should definitely watch for information each spring,” said Wielgus.

An articulation of Liberalism

In season five of “The West Wing” Leo McGarry brings in a replacement to pick up the slack when another staff member has to be “benched” due to a huge screw up. The new person is allowed to borrow the benched staffers assistant for help on a project and in the course of work the assistant is asked her opinion on the current administration that they both work for.

The assistant replies that she thinks their side (the liberal Democrat side) does a bad job of articulating what their goals are and what the overarching philosophy of liberalism actually is. This is an on-going problem with the liberal doctrine. Nobody, not even us, knows what we are talking about.

Our political agenda is being pulled in so many directions it is unintelligible—which, scarily enough, looks pretty good compared to the conflicts in our intellectual underpinnings. Between feminism, Marxism, critical race theory and environmentalism, we can’t figure out which problem is the most pressing (patriarchy, classism or racism) so that we can then build a clear and cohesive agenda to rally the troops around.

It’s not that we have to choose which problem to fight, they are all pressing issues that deserve an equal amount of urgent attention, but in many cases we haven’t even agreed that these are problems that we want to address.

We have a crucial election on our horizon and none of the candidates are particularly exciting; this is our fault. We scare away the radicals, the really smart people with vision and purpose because we cannot be trusted to remain on task, to fight the hard fights and show up at the ballot box having done our intellectual work and our practical research.

As much as I hate trite and overused sayings, Whitman, it is true that we “have to be the change we wish to see in the world.” If you want to save trees it’s not enough to simply cease bathing and carry a Nalgene, you have to get in the face of every single “earth raping” person you know. If you want to combat racism, well then maybe you will have to “ruin” a few parties. If you think male chauvinism is a problem, well, you might actually have to stop putting up with shit from specific males, just because its “easier than arguing.”

Radical change is never-ending and exhausting and requires a clear articulation of principles and goals. To some degree, conservatives have it far easier; their far right flank has delineated a very clear set of principles (read: the Bible) that all conservatives, no matter where they fall on the spectrum, must answer to. We have no such powerful fringe, our fringe is regarded as just that, fringe.
Lets change that. Let us the graduating seniors and the future classes of Whitman college stand together with our ideas, our plans and our day-to-day passion and be the powerful flank that our party has to answer to, that defines the discussion instead of remaining subject to it, that is unafraid of the term “radical,” “liberal” or even “tree-hugger.”

Let us stand up and take responsibility for our discourse, define our terms and unapologetically work every day to forward agendas we know to be noble and worthy. C’mon, you’ve got to do something with all those hours between episodes of “Lost” and “Grey’s Anatomy.”

PRO: Dragfest is positive exposure

Dragfest is a dance held once a year where everyone comes dressed in drag. It is a Whitman tradition, like Ren Fair or the Beer Mile, and it champions our social liberalism as a campus. Thus, needless to say, it is fairly popular event on campus.

Yet, dressing in drag certainly does not mean boys must dress in skirts and high heels and girls have to wear boxers and big shoes. No.

Get one thing straight: dressing in drag does NOT require dressing like you have a vagina if you really have a penis or vice versa. It is a personal definition. Maybe you are a girl who usually likes to wear soccer jerseys and jeans. Dressing in drag could mean wearing a sundress and sparkles. Maybe you are a guy who never takes off his skinny Sevens and pink Lacoste polos. Dressing in drag could mean wearing ice and oversized sweatpants. Or maybe not. Maybe it means wearing booty shorts. Or a muumuu.

Dressing in drag means wearing clothes and a personality that does not socially match the body you were born into—testicles, breasts, whatever— or the gender role that is originally assigned to you at birth—male, female, whatever. It is a means to challenge the contained, rigid box that society builds around each of us. It is a way to fight that box, to question the rules that society places on you and to loosen the reigns of the societal definition of what it means to be “YOU.”

But of course, we are Whitman students, so we must protest even a good thing. Some accuse Dragfest of being just a cruel spoof, a night to get drunk and mock an uncommon lifestyle. Some call it a “celebration of diversity” only in name, when in reality it is just cold-hearted slander. Some say that it only re-enforces stereotypical gender roles when, in order to attend, guys must wear heavy makeup and low-cut shirts and girls must sag their pants and become the grinders instead of the grindees for a night.

Give me a break. We are extremely lucky that we attend a school where a drag dance is an annual, campus-wide event that is well-attended every year. At Whitman, you are considered pretty uptight if you can’t put on a bra or draw on a moustache and get your groove on—and I will venture to say that this, as a campus-wide attitude, is pretty unique.

Consider the alternative of banning Dragfest altogether for its extreme political incorrectness. Let’s attend a campus where we do not push any boundaries, where we remain scrunched tightly inside our boxes so as to not offend anyone. Let’s make Whitman a school where we keep subjects like dressing in drag completely taboo.

What happens then when these Whitman students graduate and go into the real world where people DO dress in drag and where a man and a transgendered person hold hands and kiss on the subway? These new Whitman alums are probably more likely to act uncomfortable and uncertain than the old Whitties who, after four years, are quite comfortable with the concept of drag. Heck, they would say, we all did it. It’s not that weird.

Dragfest is simply an opportunity to challenge a social institution. For one night, it is socially okay to step outside your comfort zone and experience what it feels like to be someone else. College is a time to learn, not only inside, but outside the classroom. Dragfest is another occasion to do just that.

Last year, one of my best friends (clad in a sparkly black cocktail dress) said, “How do you wear this? It’s FREEZING!” And another in stilettos; “These are NOT comfortable.” And another; “Can I get some more orange eye shadow?”

If there were no Dragfest, how would these boys ever know what it means to get “dressed up” as a girl? How could they ever even BEGIN to understand the experience of that drag queen on the subway unless they become her? And without understanding, how can we ever begin to achieve real tolerance?

If nothing else, it is the chance to step into the shoes of the opposite sex, to see the world through the eyes of another identity. It is an occasion to increase awareness for other people and the way they live.
If Whitman is truly devoted to diversity, Dragfest needs to stay.

Pointers for campus political groups

Get the fuck off your asses. I am serious. Get out of bed, get out of the library, and act on your beliefs.

I have been here at Whitman for four years, and in two weeks I will be leaving Walla Walla forever. But before I go, I would like to give a little friendly advice to the political groups on campus.

So again, get the fuck off your asses. Campus Democrats, this is mostly for you. Yes, the majority of people on campus are liberal, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t articulate your beliefs or engage others in a dialogue. Yes, Walla Walla is one of the most conservative areas in Washington, but that doesn’t mean that the things you believe in don’t need to be said. And if you consider how liberal Whitman is, and how conservative Walla Walla is, then the Campus Democrats have an amazing opportunity. You have to organize the students on the campus and mobilize the group of liberals this town desperately needs.

Last summer I worked on a campaign in town for a State Representative who was running for re-election. I can’t believe what an eye-opening experience it was. It turns out that Walla Walla is so much more than a group of angry young “townies” who throw bottles and insults our way. There are passionate individuals here in Walla Walla, Democrats and Republicans, who work in their community to bolster the political ideals they believe in. Campus political groups must get involved in the community, go to their monthly meetings and participate in a local discussion of issues.

This is such an exciting political time. By this time next year, each party will have their 2008 presidential nominee. You cannot sit on campus and watch this happen. It doesn’t matter that Washington’s primary is late in the year because politics is more than voting. It is about participating in discussion with one another about the issues that are important to you. Iraq, health care, education, immigration, poverty, the environment—if you want these issues the change, you have to get up and do it yourself.

Executive Council speaks on Dunda expulsion

“He just didn’t take his job seriously,” said Sarah Golden of senior ASWC Senator Shea Dunda. Golden, a junior and a member of ASWC’s Oversight Committee, oversaw the removal of Dunda from the Senate.

Golden cited Dunda’s election campaign as an indicator. “He ran as ‘The Goblin King.’ It was a joke to him.”

Dunda was expelled because of complaints brought against the senator for missing both Senate and committee meetings.

“This is the first time under the current system that a senator was expelled,” wrote Shayna Tivona in an e-mail. Tivona, a sophomore and the Chair of the Oversight Committee, explained that while senators have been under investigation before, they have never had sanctions upheld against them.

Dunda’s expulsion from the Senate carries with it a fine of $100. Dunda is allowed to voice concerns from his constituency and retains the title of senator, but he is no longer allowed to vote in the Senate.

Dunda defended himself in a speech made to the ASWC Senate on April 29. Although he admitted that his campaign was “offensive and completely unrelated to government, or care for any ASWC going-ons,” Dunda thought that he was representing his constituency accurately. “I won a landslide victory, not just in the senior vote, but as a write-in for the juniors. My constituency, quite frankly, doesn’t give a damn about ASWC. If I were to attend meetings and speak my views, I would be doing a disservice to the lethargy and apathy of those very students I represent. For this reason, I feel that have been an incredible senior senator, with respect to representation.”

Dunda also voiced concern that he was being “discriminated against, disrespected, ignored and excluded as a speaker and a volunteer” by the Senate. He felt that he wasn’t the only one not doing his job, but that the entire system was corrupt. “I deserve expulsion . . . from a broken government, with inconsistent actions and laws, with discriminatory and cowardly members who are either hopped up on their own apathy, drunk and unthinking on their own self-righteousness, or blinded by their adherence to inconsistent, moronic and problematic laws—laws that it seems every year are questioned at the start, and promptly disregarded until the end of the year.”

However, Tivona stressed that the issue wasn’t the ineffectuality of ASWC, but that Dunda had not fulfilled his job as senator. “The Oversight Report concluded that he had violated his senator oath by being repeatedly unexcused to meetings. His lack of attendance made it impossible for him to represent his constituents.”

Choral Contest amuses, astounds

Whitman kicked off its 81st annual Choral Contest for charity with a diverse line-up of performances, ranging from sophisticated to down-right wacky.

Giving the event a comic, Core-related spin, the Tau Kappa Eppsilons parodied Don Giovanni’s operatic style with several members dressed up as key characters of the play.

A few acts later, the Independent Women’s group, who took away the trophy for Best All-Women’s performance, sang an elaborate five-part harmony while wearing matching royal blue robes.

Other groups at the event included Whitman a cappella groups Schwa and the Testostertones (T-Tones), who each put on well-rehearsed medleys of songs. Schwa dressed up in prison costumes and sang a “Renegade Medley,” while the T-Tones, who took the trophy for Best Interlude Performance, dressed up like fighter pilots to sing arrangements of songs from the movie “Top Gun.”

Bringing a touch of politics to the event, a new group called The Environmental Choir sang a pollution-filled parody of “America the Beautiful” and, shortly beforehand, a loving tribute to the positive qualities of dirt.

What many considered the biggest surprise at the event, however, came from the Phi Delta Thetas who, dressed up like drunken sailors, won the Best All-Men’s Performance trophy singing a macho rendition of George Michael’s “Faith” and the classic English Sea Shanty Song, “What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?!”

Spectrum Dance Theater maximizes art exposure

Spectrum Dance Theater performed three pieces from their repertoire in Cordiner Hall on Tuesday, April 24: “crowded murmurs…thoughts,” “Quartet,” and “Bhangra Fever.” Senior Charlotte Pickett, a student involved in the dance program at Whitman, felt that bringing the group benefited the Walla Walla community as well as Whitman.

“Other than student shows there is no dance in Walla Walla,” said Pickett, “It is important for both the Whitman community as well as the Walla Walla community to have exposure to many different forms of art.”

Senior dancer Kira Hubbard agreed. “It was really interesting to sit in the audience and hear the other audience members watch it. It was obvious that a lot of people at Whitman had never been exposed to that level of professional dance…they were amazed by that. [It] was really amazing to hear [their reactions].”

Hubbard pointed to Spectrum’s innovative style, which integrates elements of ballet, jazz, and modern, to explain the positive response: “The type of work that Spectrum does is possibly a lot more accessible to non-dance audience.”
The Spectrum performers included a Walla Walla native, Peter deGrasse. DeGrasse is a former student of Idalee Hutson-Fish, who teaches ballet at Whitman and in her private studio in Walla Walla.

Pick your poison: finding some semblance of direction in the chaotic and overcrowded world of energy bars

Energy bars are tricky things. Sometimes you want a snack; sometimes you want a meal; sometimes you want a lover—so which energy bar fits which occassion?

In today’s dog-eat-dog world it’s easy to simply pick the cheapest brand in the prettiest wrapper and call it a day. But be careful: Energy bar-picking is a delicate art not to be easily dismissed.

If the task intimidates you, never fear: This simple guide will help you find exactly the bar you want at any given time.

Bumble Bar (“Chocolate Crisp” flavor): I’m not sure why these are called “Bumble Bars.” They do not have honey, beeswax, or even stingers. They’re mostly just sesame seeds, brown rice, flax seeds and cane syrup. Which tastes pretty awesome, if you like like sesame seeds, brown rice, flax seeds and cane syrup. According to the Bumble Bar Web site, flax seeds are full of “Omega 3 fatty acids,” which are apparently very good for you, and sesame seeds have THREE TIMES AS MUCH CALCIUM AS MILK. I’m not really sure what “three times as much calcium as milk” means. Does one sesame seed contain more calcium than an 8-oz. glass of milk? Bumble Bar is not clear on this. Regardless, I’m a vegan and I need my calcium, so I’m sold.

Taste: A-
Energy: C
Nutrients: B-
Price: $16.50 for a box of 15
Web: Bumblebar.com

Clif Bar (“Chocolate Almond Crunch” flavor): Dude, I’m not safe around a box of Clif Bars. That shit is delicious. Chocolate Almond Crunch is my favorite flavor.
I asked to write this article so that I would have an excuse to buy myself a Chocolate Almond Crunch Clif Bar. And Clif is all organic. Clif says, “Food grown organically—without the use of toxic pesticides or synthetic chemicals—is better for people and the environment.” How right you are, Clif. How right you are. (It is also worth noting that on Clif Bar’s Web site you can not only buy energy bars: You can buy Clif Bar socks, Clif Bar visors and a book about the story of the Clif Bar. And that’s about as close as you can get to buying freedom).

Taste: A
Energy: B+
Nutrients: B+
Price: $15 for a box of 12
Web: Clifbar.com

Luna Bar (“Caramel Nut Brownie” flavor): Here’s a good question: If Clif Bars are so good, then why do Luna Bars (made by the same company) taste like hardened pee? I know, I know: How lovely that an energy bar company has concocted an energy bar “just for women”­ (the bar has “23 vitamins, minerals and other nutrients that contribute to a woman’s overall health”), but I don’t understand why the “just-for-women” bar has to suck. Why can’t the “just-for-women” bar just be Clif Bars with rock-climbing women instead of men on the front?

Taste: D
Energy: B
Nutrients: A
Price: $17.75 for a box of 12
Web: Lunabar.com

LARABAR (“Cherry Pie” flavor): Men, women, children. If you have not bought a LARABAR yet, please go buy one. If you shun raw foods; if your idea of an “energizing snack” is a bag of Cheetos, King Size Skittles and a Red Bull, consider LARABAR your official conversion to the other side. We’ve been fighting this reality for a long time, people, but the truth is that untouched things that come from the earth taste good. Really good. Orgasm good. That’s right, ladies: If there was ever an energy bar to move you to climactic levels, this would be the one. And if you’re super-rich, this would be THE snack to stock at a party to which you’re inviting a lot of people with allergies and/or special diets:
Diabetics, vegans and those who break out at the mere mention of peanuts, gluten, soy or corn are safe; so are those on the Feingold Program. I don’t know what the Feingold Program is. Magically, LARABARs each contain no more than six ingredients—but when I mixed dates, almonds and unsweetened cherries together (the only three ingredients in my bar), I just got mush. So I concluded that LARABAR has sold their soul to the devil. I say we reap the benefits.

Taste: A
Energy: A
Nutrients: A
Price: $27.99 for a box of 16
Web: Larabar.com

Organic Garden to celebrate Dirt Day

Whitman’s organic garden is a resource available to students and the community that remains largely untapped.

The garden is located across the street from the Physical Plant, on the corner of Penrose Ave. and Pacific Ave.

The garden is run by a core group of about five to 10 students. They are advised by Bob Biles, who works at the Physical Plant and is knowledgable about organic farming practices.
The garden is run rather informally. “Anyone can go to the garden whenever they want to and pick fruits and vegetables, and the only rule is if you pick something you should do a little bit of weeding,” said Mica Quintana, who is president of the club.

The garden is a place for people of all skills. “It’s not a very intimidating place at all. I actually don’t really know that much about gardening. We’re all learning together,” said Quintana.

For those who want a more guided experience, there are now standard open gardening hours. “At open gardening there is someone who knows what to do, to guide people, every Friday 3:30 to 6 p.m. and Saturday 1:30 to 4 p.m. We’ve made it standard so anyone can come by whenever they want,” said Quintana.

The garden is open to the Walla Walla community, but community involvement has not yet been a focus of the club.

“It is open to the community but we haven’t done very much community involvement lately. In the past they have. We try to involve the community, if they walk by we talk to them about the garden,” said Quintana.

The garden is participating in Dirt Day, which is an event hosted by the Farmer’s Market on Saturday, May 12.

“Dirt Day is an event that the Farmer’s Market puts on for children: environmental education for kid’s day. The garden is going to have a booth and help kids plant seeds in egg cartons that they can take home with them, which we’ve done in past years,” said Quintana.

Sophomore club member Brittany Smith asks that people donate their egg cartons to the Outhouse for this event.

The club aims to be more integrated with the community in the future. “We want to involve the community more, I’m not sure in what way. In the past elementary students have been involved, and I think it would be a good idea to start that again,” said Quintana.

The garden primarily serves as a means of recreation and learning. “It’s not so much focused on production because we don’t need to feed people from it, it is more to show students how organic gardens work and to provide a place for them to experiment with organic gardening and to experience growing their own food,” said Quintana.

The garden also serves as way for people to be connected to the community in which they live.

Urban farming challenges urban space’s accepted notions of utility, practices

Urban farmers attempt to transform suburbia into more than a sea of manicured lawns. As self-proclaimed “aspiring urban farmer” junior James Most said, urban farming is “producing food in a landscape that is not stereotypically a food-producing landscape … like chickens on a lawn.”

Most and junior Will Davidson have been “co-conspirators,” as they put it, in a series of urban farming projects this semester, from raising five chickens from birth to barbecue to beginning a gardening project in January. Their aim: to experience where food comes from.

Urban farming is not a novel concept. The roots of urban farming extend back to the Victory gardens of WWII, when suburban families planted gardens to produce fruit and vegetables as a patriotic war effort. There was also a “back to the land” movement in the 1960s and 1970s, prompted by disillusionment with the Vietnam War, Watergate and, more generally, consumerism and the growing divide between city and country. Helen and Scott Nearing, for example, left New York for rural Vermont to live self-sufficiently, publishing a book, Living the Good Life, about their experience.

Most and Davidson do not aspire, however, towards self-sufficiency. Instead, their goal is to experience where their food comes from. The specific challenge that they and their club, Food Not Lawns, have tackled is the student schedule. They wanted to design an urban farming project that could be successful on a semester system—taking into account that many students are mobile during the summer, leaving campus to pursue jobs, internships and travel.

Most acknowledged that, to many, their gardening project, which takes up a parking space behind their duplex, may not seem like a huge accomplishment. However, Most and Davidson started the plants in January, which is why the two tomato plants, for example, are beginning to produce now. At the supermarket, hothouse tomatoes are still prevalent; vine-ripened tomatoes won’t show up until summer.

Most cited the chicken project as their most successful experiment, not only because he and Davidson experienced the entire process of raising meat but also because of the wider interest it generated in the community.

“[It was the most successful project] because of the buzz it generated … [the feeling] that other people want to try this … [as if] someone hit the boulder with a golf club,” said Most.
Next semester Food Not Lawns intends to build and give away lettuce beds, as the beds were one of their most successful gardening projects. They hope to share the experience of producing food. Food production, after all, is about more than just the harvest.

“[There are] therapeutic benefits of being around growing things,” said Most. To join the club or for more information, e-mail mostjr@whitman.edu.

The Organic Garden is another way to get involved with food production on campus. Open gardening is held on Fridays from 3:30 to 6 p.m.

Food Not Lawns and the Organic Garden are ways to get involved in food production now and to gain valuable gardening knowledge to store up for that “rockin’ garden” you plan to have later. Furthermore, getting involved means eating the “local-est local” food.

“[The American food system] sends shock waves out everywhere, we export so much of our subsidized grains and import so much,” said Most. Eating locally is one way to decrease impact on a global scale.

There are many opportunities in Walla Walla to eat local, organic produce and meat. Thundering Hooves, in the Walla Walla valley, raises grass-fed cattle from birth to slaughter. They sell a variety of products in town at Thundering Hooves Meat Shop, located at 2021 Isaacs. Check out their Web site at thunderinghooves.net.

The Farmer’s Market, which opens again on May 5, sells a variety of local produce (seegofarmersmarketwallawalla.com for more information). Andy’s Market, in College Place, also sells local produce. In addition, there are two Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) programs in Walla Walla: “Ideal Organics” and the up-and-coming “Welcome Table Farm.”

Whitman students experience food production firsthand

Like most Whitman students, Will Davidson is an ultimate player, musician and prestigious ballet dancer. Unlike most Whitman students, he is also a local chicken farmer. This semester, Will and his housemate James Most decided to raise chickens at their off-campus residence.

“We got turned on to the idea while brainstorming what herbs and veggies we would grow this semester, at the time, it seemed a logical progression: basil, cilantro, chickens,” explained Davidson.

When questioned on the motivation for the at-home food production, Davidson recounted, “Both James and I strive for independence from the corporately controlled industrial agriculture regime that dictates what we eat. Often, the solve all solution is to ‘eat local’ and ‘know your farmer.’ We decided to break two cars with one stone and be the farmer of the localest locality possible: our basement and lawn.”

Will and James purchased day-old broiler chicks, which are chickens bred to grow large for meat consumption. The chicks spent the first part of their life in a cardboard box with a heat lamp, and when they were big enough, they were moved outside into a home-built mobile coop known as a “chicken tractor.”

Originally, the duo was going to modify a bike trailer to be a mobile chicken coop to constantly have the birds moving from residence to residence. This idea was nixed when they decided that chickens probably would not like bike rides as much as they did.

After two months, the chickens were large enough for slaughter. Davidson described, “The chickens left the universe on a beautiful sunny Friday morning. We really made an effort to honor their existence and thanked them for providing such delicious meat for us. Our goal was to really experience where meat comes from, and I would say that these past two months have been a tremendous learning experience.”

The operation was partially funded by Walla Walla Food Not Lawns, an organization dedicated to instigating and supporting creative projects in food production.

Davidson, a prominent Food Not Lawns community member, said, “You don’t have to raise chickens to have fun with extremely local food production. Food Not Lawns distributes free lettuce beds for your sunny windowsill, which is an easy way to witness the magic of photosynthetic growth. Contact me if you want one next semester.”

Walla Walla theater scene not limited to Whitman

Walla Walla can feel like a small town, especially when it comes to arts such as theater and music. However, there are three venues in Walla Walla that offer theater performances for the community.

This year marks the 62nd season of the Little Theater of Walla Walla. Located at 1130 Sumach, The Little Theater puts on many shows during their season. Performances of “Harvey,” the first show of the season, opened on Sept. 22. The second show put on by the Little Theater was a musical/comedy called the “1940’s Radio Hour.” “The Cemetery Club” served as the third show of the season.

“Charlotte’s Web,” the last show of the season is currently showing at the Little Theater. Based on the story by E.B. White featuring the characters Fern, Wilbur, Charlotte, and Templeton, the show is advertised as “a show for all ages.”

“I play Fern, the little girl, and there are three Whitman employees in it,” said Rosie Brownlow, sophomore theater major.
Performances will take place on May 4, 5, 6, 11 and 12.

Walla Walla Community College also offers the community theatrical entertainment. The Community College’s season included “The Foreigner,” “Love Letter,” “A Piece of My Heart,” and “The Glass Menagerie.” Most recently, Whitman professor Chris Petit directed “The Glass Menagerie” at the Community College. Auditions were open to everyone and many Whitman students auditioned and were cast.
“A bunch of Whitman students showed up. I chose the best people for the play and was encouraged to do so by Jon Stratton [professor at the community college] in his desire to make the play a real community event,” said Chris Petit.

Dru Johnston, a senior theater major, played the role of Tom Wingfield; sophomore Sarah Hatheway played Laura Wingfield; and Keagan Buchanan, senior politics major, played Jim, the Gentleman Caller. The show closed on April 21.
Whitman College also contributes a lot to the theater scene in Walla Walla. There are two theaters on campus, the main stage theater and the black box theater. Whitman’s season this year included: “Mr. Marmalade,” “Arsenic and Old Lace,” “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” “Ivona, Princess of Burgundia,” The Student One-Act Play Contest, “Tartuffe,” “Electra” and the musical, “It’s a Grand Night for Singing.” Students have also put on numerous shows outside of the main stage shows.

“It’s a Grand Night for Singing” is the last show of the season and opens on Thursday, May 3. Tickets are available at the box office from 10-12 a.m. and 1-4 p.m. Monday through Friday.

In addition to official Harper Joy Theater shows, lunchbox performances take place during the lunch hour throughout the year and are a good place for students to showcase works they are inspired to share. Students often take advantage of these opportunities to present plays or readings.

Sweet Onion Crank brings competition to climbing

The last Saturday in April is a significant day on the Whitman campus: it is the day on which the Outdoor Program traditionally holds its Sweet Onion Crank, the annual climbing competition. Last Saturday, April 28, was no exception: beginning, intermediate, advanced and youth climbers from the both inside and outside the Whitman community were invited to attempt routes such as “Stairway to Heaven,” “Sin City” and “Death From Above.”

“We start working on this at the beginning of the year, but most of it sort of comes to a head the last two weeks and even more so the day and night before,” said first year Nate Cade, who was in charge of organizing the event. “We have to set up all these routes; we get lots of volunteers for that – but it’s still a process.”

The participant turnout for the 2007 Sweet Onion Crank was over 100; far more if counting the judges and the constant crowd of onlookers gathered around the wall. Some Central Washington University climbers have made the Sweet Onion Crank an annual tradition for them, too. Walla Walla community members also compete.

Andrew McConnico, a senior art major who has participated in the Crank in previous years, was one of the judges this year. He explained the evaluation process as a series of points assigned based on “hot holds” – specific goals on each route – as well as simply whether or not a climber reaches the top. “We’re here as judges, but definitely you expect people to be judging themselves too… People have been calling themselves out on things.”

Climbing is for many people a very personal activity, in which they strive for personal goals. “There are really really good climbers here [at Whitman] that don’t participate in it because they don’t think climbing should be competitive, and I understand that: when I climb the best thing about it is that you’re pushing yourself and no one else is pushing you – but then you’ve got this whole amphitheatre-style thing going on,” said McConnico, gesturing toward the observers.

“What a lot of people enjoy about climbing is that…competition doesn’t really come into it quite as often. But I think what is nice about our little event here is that it is not as competitive as some other ones,” said Cade. “It’s more about a community gathering: people are always encouraging each other and pushing each other on all the particular routes.”

Everyone who registered received a Crank T-shirt and at the end of the day, points were tallied and prizes were awarded: from gift certificates to fingerboards to chalk bags to Rock and Ice subscriptions.

“Most of our stuff came from national sponsors; we were writing and e-mailing and calling for the last three and a half months,” said Cade.

Also, winners of each level receive little carabiner picture frames as trophies. If there is a tie, the victor is decided through a boulder-off, in which climbers compete to advance farthest along the wall in a time frame of 30 seconds.

The winner of the women’s advanced was Marina Heppenstall, a senior biology and environmental studies major. The winner of the men’s advanced was Steve Miller, a local ceramics teacher and past Sweet Onion Crank champion. This year, Miller was wearing a worn T-shirt that he received at the sixth annual Crank competition. “This is like the tenth one I’ve done. I like coming out here: they have great routes today, there’s a really great crowd down here, and it’s just a lot of fun.”

Blue Moon release party is megahit with ‘Menomena’

The Blue Moon staff members rummaged in Walla Walla dumpsters to provide the decorations for the release party of the 2007 edition of the magazine. Throughout the evening the staff kept the coffee warm, the ice cream frozen, and the baguettes soft.

This year’s theme of the release party was PomoBoho and the special guests that were playing music were Portland bands Menomena and Talkdemonic.

People started gathering at the Reid side lawn as early as 9 p.m. on Saturday, dancing and talking until midnight when the
2007 blue moons were released to all guests.

“The party met and exceeded my very high expectations and hopes! The bands were both a pleasure to work with, extremely gracious as well as gifted. KWCW and ASWC sound and lights carried the technicalities of the show with great finesse– and also fielded calls from the Walla Walla police department; that was a huge gift to us,” wrote in Blue Moon Editor-in-Chief Carly Lane Rue in an e-mail.

The preparation of the release party took more than a month. “Yeah, it was a ton of work, set-up and take-down wise (to make no mention of coffee, baguette, ice cream, and of course, magazine service – some staffers were there all day, worked through the evening, and stayed on to do clean-up). But what a way to celebrate this year of big-pushes, long hauls, and achievement too! It was an honor to have such a big crowd – professors, prom-goers, families, as well as students,” said Rue.

“I enjoyed the decoration pieces– they brought a touch of the blue moon’s artistic spirit to Reid’s side lawn,” said sophomore Caitlin Shoenfelder, just a couple of seconds after getting her issue of the blue moon, “However, I was disappointed that the music ended at midnight with the release of the magazines – shouldn’t the actual release of the blue moon give us all the more reason to continue celebrating with music and dance rather than marking the end of the high-energy festivities?”

“My hands-down fave-take-home image is a wide-angle of the just-post-midnight side-lawn scene – hundreds of heads bent over hundreds of open books, and the hush of so many readers. Trés hip,” said Rue, long after midnight when the staff members of the magazine were finishing up the cleaning of the Reid side lawn.

For the coming weeks until the end of the school year there will be lunch tables in Reid and everybody that has not received the magazine yet can pick up their issue of the Blue Moon.

Politics class gives students insight into workings of global food system

In Aaron Bobrow-Strain’s politics course, Whitman in the Global Food System, students approach the political economy of food from local, national and global perspectives so as to make advancements that might benefit all people at those levels.

Professor Bobrow-Strain, who has studied at University of California, Berkeley, Stanford University and Macalester College, has been working on projects interested in political economy, cultural studies and critical human geography.

“The goal of the class is to give students a solid set of tools with which they can understand their world food system at a whole series of levels, from the politics of local food banking and emergency food relief in Walla Walla all the way to the kinds of global trade politics around NAFTA and the WTA,” said Bobrow-Strain.

Students learned about the development of the United States food system, particularly how it came to be what Bobrow-Strain called “this world grain goliath that dominates the world through the political use of food.”

The Global Food System politics class is studying food security in the Walla Walla Valley. Students will make recommendations to a local non-profit organization that is working on a proposal to the USDA to fund a major study of food security in Walla Walla. Research will look at the effectiveness and need of emergency food provision in non-profit organizations and government benefits.

Food security is the means by which people in a community will be able to access and afford safe and healthy food. Food security originated in the United States as an attempt to aid people through emergency food scarcities.

Food security and support quickly became institutionalized and was redesigned for longer term support rather than short term emergencies. Food Stamps and WIC (a special supplemental nutrition program for women, infants and children) are examples of national food security programs and food banks, soup kitchens and church groups that prepare meals for the homeless are examples of non-profit food security groups.

Bobrow-Strain talked about what it means to be an active citizen as opposed to an active consumer.

“There’s a lot of optimism about the sense that which Whitman students can change the world through their food purchases—by buying locally, by buying fair trade, by buying organic, whatever it is—that that’s a great way to change the world,” said Bobrow-Strain. “And in a sense it is. But I also see that as a kind of pessimistic perspective as well because often when I get with students talking about food politics, they don’t see any other way of changing the world other than through their purchases.”

Becoming an active citizen involves broadening one’s political imagination.

To students who tell Bobrow-Strain they buy organic because they don’t like pesticides, Bobrow-Strain suggests they organize to get the government to ban that pesticide. Food free of that pesticide would then be accessible to more people, not just those who could afford it.
“The goal is not to prescribe any politics, but to get [people] to think about using these tools of analysis from the class to understand issues related to food,” said Bobrow-Strain.

For more information about global food politics, Bobrow-Strain suggests “Sweet Charity: Food Emergency and the End of Entitlement” by Janet Poppendieck, “Agrarian Dreams: The Paradox of Organic Farming in California” by Julie Guthman and “Food Politics: How the Food Industry Influences Nutrition and Health” by Marion Nestle.

HJT finishes season with ‘Grand Night’

“This isn’t your grandma’s Rodgers and Hammerstein!” said Kathleen Conry, guest choreographer of Harper Joy Theatre’s last show of the year, “It’s A Grand Night for Singing.”

Conry, guest choreographer and Broadway veteran from New York, has played almost every lead in each of Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein’s main shows. “My feelings of Rodgers and Hammerstein go so way back—to when I was a teenager. So to be able to do a show like this is like a dream come true.”

“It’s A Grand Night for Singing” is a revue show of the “greatest pieces of their music from all of their musicals,” said Rodgers.

Conry will be collaborating with theatre faculty member Parke Thomas. “Both of us have done a lot of Rodgers and Hammerstein, both together and individually,” said Thomas.

Although the show does not have a recurrent plot, “every song, or every couple of songs, is like it’s own two act play—or sometimes a one act. But there is a beginning a middle and an end—even if it’s just a couple of songs,” said Thomas. “There’s no story to be told, per se, except the story of Rodgers and Hammerstein through their music.”

“It’s fun for me because initially, the show was staged with only five people. There was very little choreography, but with 18 actors who all dance, act, and sing, the show becomes something new,” said Conry.

“This show is a big challenge. The show starts at 8 p.m. and they don’t stop singing and dancing until the curtain comes down. There are 32 songs!” said Thomas.

“It’s an evening of romance, of love and passion.”

This will be Thomas’ final play here are Whitman. “It’s been a great way to wrap things up. I know I say this often, but this is an especially dedicated and impassioned group of people,” said Thomas. “You can’t end a period of your time doing musicals with any better than Rodgers and Hammerstein,” said Thomas.

As Thomas writes in his director’s note: “we won’t go anywhere near Oklahoma, the South Pacific or Austria tonight!—we come to appreciate the depth of understanding, both musical and lyrical, that Rodgers and Hammerstein had for that most human of subjects: love.”

“It’s a Grand Night for Singing” opens tonight, May 3, on the Alexander Stage. The show runs for two weekends with this weekend’s shows starting at 8 p.m. Thur. through Sat. with a matinee at 2 p.m. on Sunday. The second weekend is runs from May 17-19. Tickets are available at the Harper Joy Box Office. For information and reservations call (509) 527-5180.

English lacks ‘creativity’

I recently glanced over the article on the need for a creative writing major and its faculty response.

When I applied for this school I had one thing in mind: Creative writing. My regional Whitman representative told me I could use the create-your-own major avenue to pursue my ambition. Not so. In the last two weeks I have run into two people (plus myself) who changed their English major because they thought the faculty does not focus much on the writing aspect of English outside of expository blah blah papers.

I would disagree with the staff that the English major overlaps creative writing. Yes, it is obvious that to understand good writing we should read it, but English classes (or those I have encountered until now) are more about context and underlying meanings over appreciation. I have taken intro to creative writing. This was great (Yay Katrina Roberts!); it stressed technique and styles galore. But outside of that oasis (which is fine arts, not even an English class), it’s just “write a five page response on modernism/social landscapes/the role of gender/etc.”

Where is the creativity in that? All we look at is the text at hand and we must avoid “taboo” writing and experimentation which is what makes English so great! It really is disappointing for me to meet this brick wall. I have lived and breathed poetry for the last seven years of my life. I knew since ninth grade I would major in English with particular emphasis on creative writing, but here I am a heavily disillusioned student who thinks the Asian Studies department will overlap more in terms of literary appreciation and style than any English class. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great profs out there, but they just don’t delve into the realm of our writing potential. Whitman professors, I seriously think you should reconsider your stance.

The Disenchanted,

Reese W. Ishmael

If You’re Interested…These are the requirements for the new Race and Ethnic Studies major at Whitman:

Foundation courses: All majors take GENS 245 Critical and Alternative Voices, plus one other course centered on racial and ethnic analysis (Soc 267 Race and Ethnic Group Relations; Hist 371 African American History; Hist 268 US Ethnic and Immigration History; Pol 259 Politics of Race, Ethnicity, and Religion; Phil 225 Critical Race Theory).

Concentration: The concentration defines the core focus of the major. It consists of a minimum of three related courses (typically 9-12 cr), allowing depth of study in a topic or region, and serving as the basic background for the thesis. The concentration must be proposed to and approved by the RES Committee by the end of fall semester of the junior year. Examples of concentrations include Race and Ethnicity in Latin America; Race and Ethnicity in Africa; Race and Ethnicity in the US; African American Studies; Race, Ethnicity, and Gender; Race, Ethnicity, and Class; Race, Ethnicity, and Nation; Race, Ethnicity, and Religion.

Electives: Usually three courses chosen to complement the concentration, such that, in combination with foundational and concentration coursework, the student has worked in three disciplines overall, and has defined a coherent program of study. It is recommended that the student explore more than one geographic area.

Capstone: A senior seminar (4cr) in the fall (RaES 490), in which students discuss common readings and case studies and begin thesis research, and completion of thesis (2cr) in the spring. The oral portion of the major exam will begin with a thesis defense and proceed to a broader synthesis of the student’s work in the major.

Language Requirement: The language requirement places value on the linguistic dimensions of difference and provides students with at least minimal direct exposure to this dimension. The student will complete 12 credits of college-level language study in a language other than the student’s first language. These credits may be earned at Whitman College, through transfer credit from accredited U.S. institutions of higher learning, or from a Whitman approved study abroad program. Ideally all 12 credits will be in the same language; in some cases two languages are permitted.

Visit whitman.edu/race_and_ethnic_studies/ for more information

Two seniors to graduate with degrees in race, ethnic studies

This year, for the first time, two Whitman seniors will graduate with degrees in race and ethnic studies (RES).

Bevin Hall and Veronica Willeto are the trailblazers of the RES major. Both Hall and Willeto are double majors; Hall with gender studies and Willeto with history.

“We hadn’t really anticipated having any [RES] seniors this year,” said professor Nina Lerman, who serves as the director of RES’ steering committee.

“There is a lot of interest in students who end up at Whitman to try to understand the ways that we represent ourselves and each other,” said Lerman. “These kind of students are going to be interested in a continued study of difference.”

The RES major first became available in 2006, although this is the first year that it is included in the course catalogue. Hall and Willeto were both studying abroad in Botswana last April when Lerman, their advisor, e-mailed them to notify them of the RES major’s approval.
Hall and Willeto made the switch to an RES major while still in Botswana. The decision was not simple for them.

“I had to definitely reflect on what this major meant to me and what it meant I had to do this entire year up until graduation in order to complete it,” said Willeto. “And, if it was worth it.”
Willeto had previously considered creating her own major similar to RES. As a student from the Navaho Nation in the four corners area, she said her background had influenced her in being “passionate about learning what we mean when we say ‘race,’ or what it means to have an ethnic identity.”

After making the decision to major in RES, Hall and Willeto faced other difficulties.

“When we were in Botswana there were limited resources,” said Willeto. “It was tough to just communicate with our advisor.”

“We did it all via e-mail,” said Hall. “It was complicated to try to figure out all the credits, but Nina was incredibly supportive.”

After getting the approval to complete an RES major, there were further complications.
“We certainly experienced a lot of frustration in terms of trying to figure things out,” said Hall. “There was no precedent for anything…things like how long our theses should be and what we should learn about in seminar, etc. We’ve sort of been the trial, or the pilot, for the program.”

“I could foresee that it was going to be challenging academically,” said Willeto. “But I think I was not aware of how much of an impact [the major] would have on me. Going in depth into issues of race, power, inequality and society and starting to think about these things on a campus like Whitman really took a toll on me emotionally and challenged me.”

Both are critical of Whitman’s current forms of addressing diversity.

“I think that Whitman is just barely on the horizon of dealing with diversity issues,” said Hall. “It has really become clear this year that diversity isn’t just about having students of color on posters for incoming students. I think that the students and the administration are just barely beginning to begin the dialogue on diversity and to question the way that we address diversity and what diversity even means.”

“In my personal opinion, I don’t think that Whitman allows students right now, with what is available right now, to engage in a really in -depth way with those sorts of issues,” said Willeto. “At times it felt isolating and very difficult to grapple with these things when there’s not a lot of people that are also thinking about these issues.”

Willeto does not want to see the RES major marginalized. She hopes it will be given enough resources in terms of financial allocations, as well as faculty support. She also would like to see the major become less focused on issues of race in America than in the world as a whole.

Both Hall and Willeto see the RES major as beneficial to not only themselves, but also to the Whitman community.

“I think students with a race and ethnic studies background can certainly add to the discussion of diversity in an incredibly productive manner,” said Hall.

“I am hopeful that Whitman is going to be making a lot of changes,” said Willeto. “Because it is responsible to this major now, I hope it’s going to open a lot of doors and move things forward. I hope it will bring out a lot of hope in others, because it did it to me, even if there still are kinks that need to be worked out.”

Both are satisfied with their decision to major in RES.

“It’s the best decision I’ve made,” said Hall. She invites lowerclassmen who are interested in the RES major to contact her or Willeto.

KC Masterpiece presents: Sex degrees of separation

It’s a week and a half until finals, and we are stressed the fuck out.

As are you, we assume. So, to help you out in your busy hours, we have decided not to mentally challenge you. My god, do we hate Frisbee golfers.

Besides having Frisbees hit our window at all hours of the day, we have realized that playing Frisbee golf dramatically lowers your I.Q. Example: A few days ago, Kaitlin was reading on the grass when she was narrowly missed by a flying disc that shot overhead and hit a light pole. This was followed by jubilant cheers. One shaggy haired boy, presumably the culprit, shouted, “Whoo! I can graduate now. I finally got this hole!” Of course, he seemed to fail to notice that it was a pole, not a hole, and that Frisbee golf isn’t actually real golf. It was achingly painful to watch.

While we’re on the subject of Whitman’s downsides, do you remember that middle school game called Six Degrees of Separation, also known as Kevin Bacon? You know, you choose an actor and try to relate them to another actor (i.e. Matt Damon—Saving Private Ryan; Tom Hanks—Catch Me If You Can; Leonardo DiCaprio—The Departed; Jack Nicholson—A Few Good Men; Kevin Bacon). Now try to play that game—but with your exes. You dated that one guy who dated your best friend. Huh. That was quick.

Around these parts, everyone’s dated and/or hooked up with everyone. At a school of 1,400 people, you’d think exes might crawl in a hole and die when you’re through with them. However, lo and behold, next week, you see them at Reid, holding hands with your sociology partner, or at a party making out with your best friend’s roommate. Then you realize that you’ve slept with their pledge father, who devirginized your roommate. Lo and behold, one of your best friends comes to tell you she was devirginized by your ex as well. A certain sorority member has been alleged to have slept with over a dozen members of the same fraternity, statistically, two of which had to have been roommates.

And speaking of roommates, one of Caitlin’s freshman boyfriends who met her freshman roommate’s freshman boyfriend while in her freshman bedroom will next semester room with her freshman roommate’s freshman boyfriend.

A Whitman senior, Polly (name changed to protect dignity), commented on somewhat similar experience: “I had to get a condom from my friend’s brother, so my friend’s brother’s friend could have sex with me. Now that is a square.”
Another Whitman student, Shay Anne (see above) stated, “I don’t see people as people so much as genitalia. You’ll be at a party and mid-conversation with someone you’ll have a sex flash back to their hairy nipples and realize not only that you sit next to his girlfriend in class, but that his mom was your piano teacher.”

Which can only mean that your friends must know about the hairy nipples too.
“You have to think of how much girls dish to each other and how guys dish to each other, and even though you’re not necessarily close to some person, you know how they look in their pants,” says Shay Anne. “Oh, you come too fast! Or you’re the one who has the lopsided testicle.”

Polly had more to say on the roommate issue. “It’s always awkward when you come to during sex and realize you’ve already fucked this kid’s roommate.”
Shay Anne agreed, adding, “It’s amazing how much guilt plays into good foreplay.”

Chances are, here at Whitman, even if you’re still a virgin, you have somehow virtually slept with at least three of your friends, and one of your enemies.
God, we just hope no one here gets Chlamydia.

Renaissance Faire promotes community collaboration

On Saturday, April 28, Whitman College was transported back to the time of the Renaissance.

A section of Boyer Avenue was closed and Memorial Lawn was sectioned off for Whitman College’s 37th Annual Renaissance Faire, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Ren. Faire is planned by the Whitman College Renaissance Faire Committee.

“I think it’s about a day at the fair. There are things to buy, things to eat, a sunny day, people running around in costume. It’s just a nice place to pass through,” said Junior Kern McGee, the committee’s chair.

Junior Gabrielle Arrowood, the committee’s secretary, said that the Ren. Faire always coincides with Alumni Weekend and draws a big crowd.

“People who didn’t even go to Whitman will drive here from as far as Salem, Oregon or Seattle,” said Arrowood. “I mean, it’s professional quality.”

Ren Faire used to be an event for which a traveling group, called Shrewsbury, was hired. The committee which presently plans Ren. Faire, however, is mostly comprised of students, sometimes with a few alums.

“We could do it without [Shrewsbury],” said Arrowood, “but they’re kind of just a kernel of history, so they still come sometimes.”

This year, members of Shrewsbury did participate in the faire.

There were other groups involved in the faire as well. Theater Sports sent members from its 24-hour comedy show to perform, Schwa sang a capella and the Juggling Club participated in unicycle jousting.

This year, for the first time, Ren Faire included a Whitman arts and crafts sale, organized by Arts and Crafts Series director, senior Seanacey Pierce. Students sold hand-made jewelry, paper and other crafts.

“A lot of people come in from outside the area for Ren Faire, and I thought it would be cool to have some Whitman representation [among] the vendors,” said Pierce.

There were many other vendors along Boyer Avenue, selling period garb, food and drink and jewelry.

Other features of the event included a blacksmith demonstrating his smithing skills, folk dancing and dancing workshops, live music, puppet shows, “dragon” painting, a working water balloon trebuchet and a kids area, which included a PVC-pipe maze, an arts and crafts table and an inflatable castle.

The Renaissance Faire Committee performed different scenes, written by junior Will Petillo. The committee made up the Ren Faire “court” this year, presided over by English professor Sharon Alker, this year’s queen.

“I think it’s great,” said first-year Seth Bergeson. “All the people from Walla Walla can come out here and it’s really turned into a community event.”

“I was surprised by how elaborate it is,” said first-year Cadence Ellington-Meaney. “It’s really well set up, and I thought it was just going to be this little student run thing.”

“My mom wanted to come from Portland for it,” said first-year Adam Caniparoli. “You don’t understand how close she was to coming for it… I had to talk her out of it and tell her I wouldn’t talk to her if she came.”

The Renaissance Faire Committee was very grateful for the sunny day—rain would have been McGee’s “worst nightmare” for the event.

“No matter what, the Faire is put on every year,” he said, even including the fabled year when only one person resided on the planning committee.

“We plan the whole year long,” said Arrowood. “As soon it’s over one year, you start planning for the next.”

Whittie of the Week: Junior Alex Lemay

In writing this column, I’ve had the opportunity to interview many very interesting Whitman students. Alex Lemay, this week’s Whittie of the Week, was the most peculiar interview I’ve ever done.

Lemay is a junior philosophy major from Chimacum, Wash. He was nominated by junior Hilary Davis for being “the most genuinely open-minded person I know.”

Sally*, a first-year, said “I don’t even know him, but every time I see him, he smiles at me and it makes my day.”

Lemay began the interview by asking me to describe myself in three words. Then, he told me to really think about those words.

“Those words limit who you are. If you define yourself as the conservative kid, then you’re going to look at everything through that conservative lens. But if you tear those labels off, you’re left with nothing.” He waved his arms to emphasize his point, causing his golden curls to bob up and down.

“What do you do about that? You really want to recognize that people are dynamic human beings… I’m constantly struggling to recognize that potential in others and in myself. I struggle to be in this society with these predetermined paths and not fall into one of these paths,” said Lemay.

Lemay found himself struggling with societal expectations at an early age. Throughout elementary school he participated in ballet and gymnastics. Then, his classmates found out about his “feminine” hobbies. Amidst constant teasing, he quit ballet and gymnastics and took up Little League Baseball instead.

After high school, Lemay went to Thailand for a year. He taught English but found himself learning even more. He was forced to think critically about American customs he previously take for granted.

“I always had to be conscious of myself. In Thailand, something little like putting your feet up is a sign of disrespect,” noted Lemay.

Lemay likes traveling for the trauma it causes. Although it might seem counter-intuitive, he believes the best way to discover oneself is by going through difficult times.

Lemay is a firm believer in traveling cheaply. He uses hospitalityclub.org to meet people from other countries and then stay at their houses for free. Last summer, he spent a mere 300 dollars for a month in Europe.

For Lent, Lemay decided to put himself through the trauma of giving up the Internet. This forced him to change his lifestyle both academically and socially.

Lemay found himself actually finding books to do research, having to talk to teachers face to face and seeking out friends instead of e-mailing them. He realized that he had actually been wasting more time using the Internet than he had been saving.

Lemay struggles with the idea of college. He wants to move past the clichés of college such as ‘this is your one chance’ and actually use the amazing opportunities college provides to live a meaningful life.

“The clichés are right in front of us, but we don’t know what they actually mean. Like ‘seize the day,’ what does it actually mean to seize the day? I see lots of people who aren’t happy, who don’t know what they’re doing. They seem happy on the outside but when you actually start talking to them you realize they’re depressed. How can you be awake and alive to life?”

*Names have been changed to protect identities of those in the article

Lowering Pioneer budget amidst rising costs a mistake

For the last two years the Whitman College Pioneer has been funded below nine percent of the total ASWC budget, in blatant disregard of the by-law, which up until Sunday evening called for the Pioneer’s funding to hold steady at nine percent. The by-laws were amended to decrease the budget of the Whitman College Pioneer from nine percent of the total budget to eight percent.

This is roughly a four thousand dollar increase of funds from the previous two years when the Pioneer was short-changed in direct violation of the ASWC by-laws. This by-law changed was proposed by the Finance Committee at the last ASWC joint session, and enjoyed roughly two hours of debate with compromise changes proposed by Senator Bryce McKay, who strongly disagreed with the by-law change, and struck down after members of both the Senate Finance and Policy Committee exhibited strong objections to amending the budget to find the extra funds.

There were many components to the arguments both for and against retaining the current Pioneer budget (and actually funding it at that level). It will come to no surprise to you readers that as a writer for this paper I think that the arguments against properly funding the expansion and improvement of the Whitman College Pioneer were faulty and that the money currently spent on clubs like “friends of gnomes” and “tea club” could be put to far better use improving the level of on-campus discourse and enhancing the public face of Whitman College—which falls well within the stated goals of ASWC.

First of all, as was cited in every single meeting I have sat on regarding the budget, operation costs are rapidly rising in all areas. From bands to viewing rights, to paper, things are monetarily hard all over. Yet, the Pioneer bears the brunt of rising material costs weekly, in addition to maintaining a Web site (which was encouraged by a number of HOCR and Senate members concerned with paper consumption) along with the assorted and considerable costs of creating a competitive staff of writers and expanding coverage and circulation into the Walla Walla community—which many representatives at the session agreed is a positive move. And yet the Pioneer will continue to be funded next year (because their budget is based on a by-law and not the annual request process all other clubs go through) roughly four thousand dollars below what the joint editors-in-chief Sophie Johnson and Andrew Jesaitis requested.

In the words of outgoing (and incoming) Editor-in-Chief Sophie Johnson, the Pioneer is NOT making ends meet on the current budget. While Johnson admits that she would gladly do the job for free, she has in fact funneled chunks of her own money into running the paper this year, which is totally unacceptable.

A couple members of HOCR and the Senate last night suggested that the Pioneer apply for contingency funds when their budget falls short. This of course defeats the purpose of setting a fixed and independent Pioneer budget that allows this paper to critique our wayward student government without fear of budgetary reprisal.

But as a few key Senators have informed me, one of the factors in deciding upon the Pioneer budget and thus the by-law change was the lack of continuous coverage traditionally devoted to ASWC. If this was indeed a factor in the Finance Committees decision, the by-law safeguard did not in fact protect the Whitman College Pioneer.

After much heated debate sophomore Senator Bryce McKay proposed altering the proposed by-law change from eight percent to eight point five percent, increasing the Pioneer’s budget by roughly two grand.

The Finance Committee as a whole was staunchly against this change, as it would require them to reconsider the entire budget and, with last night being the final joint session, possibly have to call yet another session to adopt the budget for the following year. This reporter thinks that perhaps it was a huge mistake to propose such a large decision on the last meeting of the year, as I believe the eight point one percent budget eventually was passed more by exhaustion than by any real consensus.

The Whitman College Pioneer has been funded for consecutive years at below their by-law mandated budget of nine percent. Instead of taking into consideration that the nine percent number was probably arrived at after considerable research from the original drafters of that by-law, that by-law was changed.

While I understand that ASWC is growing in leaps and bounds in all directions, and that there is considerable pressure to A. spend money wisely and B. keep the student fees low(ish), the Whitman College Pioneer is qualitatively different from other ASWC funded endeavors.

While I support the right of clubs such as the essential and redoubtable Whitman Apple Users Group to exist, perhaps there is a better use of a budget traditionally spent on pizza and an iPod shuffle. Perhaps there could be more strident requirements in place for funding all clubs, so the public face not only of ASWC but also of Whitman College, the Pioneer, could be funded at the level its editors assert is necessary to its success.

The level of expertise and discourse displayed in this paper is a indicative of what kind of school we are, and what we as students are striving to achieve. Senators, such as junior Senator Dan Shaw, suggested that the answer to rising costs is trimming the paper down, from its 28 or so pages to eight to ten. Is this what we as students want? The paper is longer because student activity is rapidly expanding on campus. There are more clubs and those clubs are doing noteworthy things, do we want to ignore all but the most impressive in supplication to the almighty dollar?

I say no. We have a paper with the talent pool and the resources to be a great paper, to be an important part of the journalistic landscape if only ASWC would fund its dynamic expansion in both readership and quality. This paper is more than the Back Page, more than the shit show OpEds, more than sensational reports on rape and the greek system, it is our public forum the place where we can talk to each other about problems of the day both on and off campus, where we demonstrate to the world at large what we as a campus care about and how committed we are to those issues.

Not funding the vigorous cultivation of our public discourse is not only against the spirit of the ASWC mission but a total violation of the principles of the liberal arts education.

Restaurant review: Vegetarian options nearby

Whitman College prides itself on providing food service that meets all dietary needs, especially for those students who don’t eat meat, poultry or fish. Every dining hall features a vegetarian option at all its meals. The salad bar even has tofu every day.

But of course, there’s something to be said for some variety in your everyday noshing.
As a vegetarian myself, I usually avoid fast food as much as possible. And, mostly, they are not seeking out vegetarian customers.

So what do you do in Walla Walla if you have five dollars in your pocket and not much time to get a meal?

One option is one of the taco trucks, Tacos la Monarca. One of these trucks can be found on Issacs east of campus, next to Baskin Robbins, and the other is on Rose St. south of 9th Ave.

Grilled Walla Walla onions are a must-have, either on tacos or in a vegetarian burrito. Two tacos or a burrito will ring in under five dollars, but it might be worth it to splurge on an horchata, a type of sweet rice-milk. The food’s heavy and quite filling, but it’s balanced out by a generous portion of vegetables.

Ice-burg, the burger-and-shake drive-through restaurant just off of 9th Ave., provides the sort of American dining experience most vegetarians have to miss out on. A garden burger, fries and a shake costs just over five dollars. It’s a great place to take your friends who always complain that they never get to go to a burger joint with you.

Finally, Sweet Basil Pizzeria is an excellent choice for quick, cheap and flavorful food. The Mediterranean and pesto pizzas are both laden with vegetables and cheeses of all varieties and flavors, and you can get two slices for five dollars. Also, the veggie calzone good for splitting between a pair of friends.

China’s environmental impasse

According to an article published in The Economist on April 26, the U.S. will not lead the world in greenhouse gas emissions for much longer. “Within a couple of years, at most, says the International Energy Agency, China will surpass the United States as the world’s biggest emitter of greenhouse gases,” the article states.

This is not the first piece of news to point out China’s dire environmental straits. A February 1 article in the German publication Der Spiegel called China “a poison-producing factory,” noting that it is home to 16 of the world’s 20 dirtiest cities and that an estimated 400,000 Chinese die each year from pollution-related respiratory and heart diseases. “Two-thirds of its major rivers and lakes are cesspools and more than 340 million people do not have access to clean drinking water,” the article says. The gradual disappearance of arable land for industrial purposes has caused further environmental devastation.

China’s environmental problems are numerous and glaringly obvious, whether you look at statistics on emissions and health or at the hazy skyline in Beijing and Shanghai. But what is less clear are the steps China should and can realistically take to address these problems while at the same time developing its economy to the standard of living that industrialized nations already take for granted.

China gets a lot of sneers in the western media for blatantly prioritizing economic development over environmental responsibility. Reuters recently reported on the attitude toward global warming expressed in the National Climate Change Assessment, China’s first ever report on climate change. It states, “If we prematurely assume responsibilities for mandatory greenhouse gas emissions reductions, the direct consequence will be to constrain China’s current energy and manufacturing industries and weaken the competitiveness of Chinese products in international and even domestic markets.”

China continues to deny its need to respond to the threat of global warming, invoking scientific uncertainty and blaming already industrialized nations for the bulk of allegedly harmful emissions. And if developed nations were allowed to pollute their way to prosperity, why should China have to restrain itself at the cost of its own?

We live in a different world now than we did during the industrial revolution in the west, many will argue, and the costs of pollution far outweigh the benefits. China’s pollution also threatens the air in other parts of the world as traces of soot and industrial gases waft from China across Japan, Europe and even California. As if the outfall of its burgeoning industry weren’t bad enough in China, the condition of the global environment as a whole affects all of us.

But while choosing money over a habitable climate may appear reprehensible to many people concerned about global warming, the determined movement toward economic growth in a recently impoverished nation like China is not to be snubbed wholesale. The obvious solutions to curbing the impact of industry—greener energy, tighter controls on emissions and newer technologies—do compromise China’s economic growth, as it is cheaper to burn its copious amounts of coal and use old technology than to invest in new methods of production. And with polluting multinational corporations such as American Standard, Panasonic, Pepsi, Nestle and 3M more than ready to invest in production in China to avoid environmental restrictions in their home countries, it is unrealistic to expect China will refuse these economic opportunities.

This is not to say that there is no environmental consciousness whatsoever in China—the central government in Beijing does generate policies as environmental problems move more into the foreground, and both governmental and non-governmental environmental organizations have been multiplying since the State Environmental Protection Administration (SEPA) and the Environmental Commission were established in the 1980s.

But despite this growing consciousness, when Beijing tries to issue restrictions on pollution to industries all over the country, the local officials with the power to enforce them in their counties and towns would usually rather not stifle production in their jurisdiction. According to Der Spiegel, “The misery is partially caused by the country’s authoritarian system, which neither allows for an independent judiciary nor democratic supervision. SEPA’s 167,000 employees aren’t empowered enough to clamp down on polluters in every single province, especially if there’s an influential employer there. And often local officials simply consider impressive growth rates more important for their careers than a clean environment.”

If neither the central government, nor the local governments, nor the main governmental environmental bureaucracy, nor the people—whose activism is often seen as a threat to the government’s power, hence the lack of “democratic supervision”—are willing or able to adequately protect the environment of China and of the world by restraining its industries, where does the responsibility lie? If economic needs and political barriers tie the hands of the very people in the legal position to force industries to comply with environmental policies, how else can this environmental dilemma be handled? And who else can help to handle it?

With over 20 percent of China’s exports going to the U.S.—more than to any other country—it would be completely hypocritical to point fingers in disgust without acknowledging our passive involvement in the more bitter fruits of China’s labor and involving ourselves actively in pruning them.

Bon Appetit changes provoke strong student response

Changes include a ban on multiple card swipes, a commitment to a “Low Carbon Diet”

Recently there have been rumors circulating about changes Bon Appetit is making next year.
Specifically, excitement has been generated by Bon Appetit’s announcement that they are going on a “Low-Carbon Diet.” At the same time, concern has been generated by the declaration that multiple swipes—that is, redeeming more than one meal on a students meal plan at a time—will no longer be allowed at the dining halls.

“I felt like I was signing my own death sentence the minute that e-mail came out,” Whitman’s Bon Appetit General Manager Roger Edens said concerning the e-mail sent out regarding multiple swipes. Since then, Edens has been bombarded with e-mails from concerned students.

“Students need to understand the relationship Bon Appetit has with the college. Ultimately, it was the college’s decision. I don’t have the power to change that decision,” said Edens.
The decision was motivated by financial concerns. Meal plans are designed to have more meals than necessary, ensuring that no one goes hungry. Bon Appetit takes those extra meals into account when planning their budget.

When students are constantly using those extra meals to swipe in their friends, Bon Appetit loses money. Historically, double-swipes are relatively new, having started a mere six years ago.

When the college was planning the budget for the next year, double-swipes were seen as being too expensive to keep. Students, however, see double-swipes as imperative to promoting relationships between different classes and building a sense of community.

“I like being able to swipe in upperclassmen. I think I should be able to use my meals how I please. It’s hard for upperclassmen to afford to pay 10 dollars for dinner or seven dollars for lunch; maybe if they lowered their prices then I’d be okay with them getting rid of the double-swipes,” said sophomore Fiona Taggart.

Complaints haven’t only been voiced to Bon Appetit. There is also a petition circulating the dorms against the elimination of double-swipes. The petition is addressed to President George Bridges and Dean of Students Chuck Cleveland. ASWC is looking into drafting a resolution to audit the new policy.

The policy has sparked numerous listserv debates criticizing Bon Appetit. Students have also been urged to e-mail Roger Edens, although Edens says Treasurer Peter Harvey would be a better person to talk to.

“I still think it’s hard to criticize Bon Appetit on anything. In terms of freshness and variety, we have some of the best food out of any college,” said senior Greg Dering.

Not only is Bon Appetit food regarded by many as good, it’s also becoming even more environmentally friendly. On Earth Day, Bon Appetit announced that they are launching a national campaign to reduce their own greenhouse gas emissions and help their guests do the same.

In April 2008, Bon Appetit will introduce a carbon point system into their over 400 cafés nationwide. The system will allow their guests to calculate the impact of their personal food choices and thereby make knowledgeable decisions and/or adjustments to their food.

This could have a greater impact than one might think. The average American creates 2.8 tons of carbon dioxide emissions each year by eating. In comparison, each person generates 2.2 tons per year by driving.

The Low Carbon Diet will reduce the use of beef by 25 percent, source all meat and poultry from North America, try to use only seasonal local produce, serve only domestic bottled water, audit the energy efficiency of kitchen equipment and reduce waste.

“I think going green is really important but there has to be a limit to how far we take these principles,” said junior Katie King. While many students were excited by Bon Appetit’s environmentalism, a few were concerned that there would be less variety of fruits and less beef.

“I only eat shit that’s still moving. If they get rid of meat, I’m going to start a hunting and skinning club,” said first-year Graham Brewer.

“Most of the changes will be informational,” said Edens in response to student concerns. “You can’t force people to eat greener, they have to accept it.”

One accusation made over the listserv was that Bon Appetit doesn’t give food to charity. This was seen as a reason to have double swipes because the food would be wasted if not eaten.
According to Edens, Bon Appetit encourages students to deliver food to charities. Students currently deliver leftover food Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings to the YWCA Senior Center. In the past, students have delivered food to the Christian Aid Center and a women’s shelter.

Food is also being composted. Over 5,500 pounds of compostable material per week is produced in the three kitchens, approximately two and a half pounds per student. A portion of this is taken daily to the organic garden. Walla Walla is in the process of organizing county-wide composting.

Edens says the biggest source of waste actually comes from students. In just this past year, students have taken 1,392 tumblers and 1,128 plates. This has led to paper cups being used instead.

College 101: We will survive

Somebody bring back the Cronin cookies, please! Lanky Tom Cronin made a good cookie fairy. On undisclosed nights he would walk up and down the library aisles with a big basket of sugar cookies over his arm, Safeway-style gourmet. His cookies spiked stressful weeks with sugar highs—frosted pumpkins for October midterms, pastel spring cookies for the end-of-the-year crunch. Oh please, somebody bring me a Cronin cookie. It’s survival time on campus.

My housemate once showed me a Web site with graphs of baby name popularity. Jessica, Brittany and Heather rose; Mary ebbed and flowed; Ethel dwindled. Substitute average sleep hours for a name, and we’re doing about as well as Mildred. Coffee intake? Just like “Emma” after Jennifer Aniston named her daughter on “Friends”—shooting off the scales.

You don’t have to look hard for crazed students. Anybody stop by the Olin lab Thursday afternoon? It was the day for seniors to turn in final drafts of their theses. Cubicles looked like Charly Bloomquist’s office. As new people walked in, seniors snapped around with fire in their eyes and forbade them to print to the thesis printer. They print on special, cotton-based paper so it stays nice in the library collection. Olin became a battlefield.

Our minds are full these days, and our fridges are empty. What do you make with week-old kale, Tillamook butter and almonds? To handle springtime at college, you’ve gotta be equipped with survival skills. You grill up a mean kale almond stir-fry. You beg your housemates for bread and broccoli. You beg nice freshmen to swipe you into brunch.

You curse the ominous Bon Appetit policy of getting rid of double-swipes. Bon Appetit! Don’t you see that you’re cutting the last survival ropes?

A few years ago, I started writing a comprehensive guide to college survival. Number one on the list was “don’t put pears in backpacks (your books will turn to brown mush).” Number two: “take advantage of the Whitman sauna. Take study breaks in the great unknown, like the tennis courts or the TKE couch.”
My mom has advice too: drink warm milk. Do yoga stretches. Sleep.

I always promise her I will. But let’s say my eight-hour sleep window is a block of delicious cheese. My chemistry homework is a little rat that likes to nibble away at the tip. Little by little it eats its way toward my 9:00 class the next morning.

Maybe all you savvy, smart people feel more put together than I do. But if not, take comfort in the starry-eyed alums we saw on campus all weekend. They remember those hellish library nights fondly: ah, that was the night I fell asleep on the second-story leather couch. (I’m making this up. Their couch was probably macrame). It’s true—I already sigh with nostalgia over that time freshman year when I wrote my Shakespeare final over pumpkin pancakes at Clarette’s, and the morning after an art studio all-nighter when hot air balloons came gloriously floating over a deserted Ankeny. Yeah, I know you’re sleep deprived. Breathe in. Whooosh. Think of Cronin cookies. Wheee. Collect some good survival stories.

Students send condolence banner to Virgina Tech

Last Thursday the foyer of Reid was cloaked in canvas, covered with small messages like “Our thoughts are with you,” and “We’re here for you.” The canvas was a sympathy card for Virginia Tech after the April 16 shootings. A group of students organized and sent off a banner for the victims.

“It’s a more substantial condolence card,” Natalie Knott—a senior politics major who helped with the banner—said. “We were inviting anyone in the Walla Walla community or at Whitman to sign.”

Initial responses to the incident at Va. Tech vary, but for the students responsible for the banner, it was an expression of their grief.

“Shocked and stunned are still my primary emotions. For some reason, I’m not so much angry as I am horrified and heartbroken for the victims and their families. I cannot even imagine what they are going through.” wrote senior psychology-music major Shanna Cole in an e-mail.

“My initial response was not thought out. It was just like, this has happened, and I can’t imagine going on about my day, about my week, without acknowledging it,” Knott said.
Knott also considers the banner an outlet for the entire community.

“What’s interesting about an academic community is that you spend so much time analyzing, and trying to be dispassionate and trying to disconnect so you can examine things fully and from all angles. I don’t think that should be the only way we relate to things. We’re emotional beings, and there should be outlets for that,” Knott said.

Both Knott and Cole helped with a vigil last week mourning the tragedy, and the banner is another illustration of their sympathy for Va. Tech.

“With the artistic help of Gayle Chung, we put the banner together. We asked that it be a banner free from political statements, and just be simply for showing our support and condolences… They just need love,” Cole wrote in an e-mail.

Knott was also part of a student listserv discussion about gun control laws that ensued in the days after the incident.

“When I wrote the original e-mail… it’s because I think you can both mourn and mourn with purpose. And if we keep allowing this kind if violence to continue, well then we’re complicit in that violence,” she said. “The gun control laws, and the way we approach violence as a society, make incidents like Virginia Tech a ticking time bomb.”

Cole shared Knott’s opinion about gun control, though she did not initially think of gun control when the tragedy occurred.

“I needed simply to mourn before I understood why everything happened and how it could have been prevented… Personally, I am in favor of heavy handgun control. Handguns have no purpose but to kill people,” Cole wrote in an e-mail.

Knott, however, did receive some negative responses for her input on the student listserv about the Second Amendment.

“It was really frustrating because everyone called me an ‘anti-gun fanatic’ without actually reading what I was saying… I responded to one man that, I’m not anti-gun… and if you read my words carefully you would see that,” she said. “I guess I’d like to see people be able to recognize that action is not inappropriate.”

The banner was shipped off Tuesday and has probably since arrived at the Virginia Tech campus, though Cole, who sent it, has not yet heard any confirmation.

Knott says that she and some members of the faculty have contacted peers on the Virginia Tech campus to give further support.

“If it were my friends, if it were my professors, if it were my Maxey, my Olin, it would help to know that people didn’t just go on about their days,” said Knott.

The end of the United Kingdom

As you’re reading this, Scotland may be voting to secede from the United Kingdom. May 3, 2007 is the date of elections for the Scottish Parliament.

For the first time since its inception, the Scottish National Party is giving Labour a run for its money. According to the YouGov poll on last Friday, April 27, the SNP was in the lead, followed by Labour, the Liberal Democrats and the Conservatives (Tories). One of the SNP’s main platforms is Scottish independence from the U.K.

I asked some of my friends at the University of Edinburgh, living right in the middle of the action, what they hoped to see from the results today. Chris Silver, a Scot from Shetland, wrote, “I would be much happier to see the SNP form a government than any other potential party … it would provide a significant impetus for progressive change in the (Dis)united Kingdom.”

Silver does not campaign for the SNP, but supports their anti-nuclear stance and also believes that the formation of the Union created “a nation that was forced to accept an artificial national culture precisely to prevent the desire for self-determination to arise. The hallmarks of this cultural crisis can be seen in much of the ‘kitsch’ that compels Scotland to continually infantilize its own culture.”

James Shewan, an Englishman from Bolton, wrote, “I don’t want Scotland to break away from Great Britain; it just seems sad and not fundamentally essential. I also think there’s a huge amount of risk and uncertainty, particularly economically in such a break.” This economic concern is a commonly recognized one; some Scots hold that if Scotland seceded and took back the oil revenues that the government in Westminster gets from its North Sea reserves, it would stand to gain. Others point out that Scotland receives more money per person from Westminster than England does, and those benefits would be lost.

Shewan pointed out that “many Scottish electorates in the past have used the SNP vote as a means to draw attention to perceived problems within the Anglo-Scottish Union.” These problems have certainly come to the forefront of Scotland’s consciousness now. As Shewan put it, “The Iraq War and the chaos and carnage that subsequently prevailed is blamed on Tony Blair and the Labour government. Blair’s blatant attempt to deceive us into believing Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction angered many Scots.”

Silver agrees that political change in the U.K. would be welcome. He wrote, “The Labour party relies, much like the Republicans in the Midwest, on bloc votes from a vast number of safe parliamentary seats in Scotland. In other words, if Scotland were to become independent it would shake up the relationship between Britain’s two main political parties and force them to reconsider what are blatantly right-wing and imperialist political agendas.”

But independence is not the only option on the table for Scotland. Even if the SNP wins and the referendum is held, YouGov’s results show that 53 percent of respondents would not vote to secede. Thirty-eight percent would vote to retain the Scottish Parliament but give it greater powers, and 25 percent would keep matters as they are. Furthermore, when asked what they thought should be the Parliament’s priority after the elections, 43 percent said prison reforms, whereas only 20 percent chose a referendum on independence.

Currently, Scottish Parliament has power over matters like education, prisons and health, as well as some others. Decisions about international affairs like defense, foreign policy and immigration are reserved for the Parliament at Westminster. Currently, Southeast England is having problems with absorbing large numbers of immigrants and asylum seekers, whereas Scotland had the fastest falling population in Europe in 2004. Its population has risen slightly since then, largely due to resettlement of many EU immigrants to Glasgow.

If Scotland were to regain independence, its immigration policies would almost certainly diverge at least somewhat from their current state under the control of Westminster, mostly likely towards more open borders. It is because of this possibility that I wouldn’t mind Scotland becoming independent, for my own purely selfish reasons of wanting to live and work there.

The election will be a close one. Shewan summed up the possibilities of today’s decision and the excitement behind it: “If the SNP win a majority in the Parliament it’ll be a revelation of new Scottish feelings, it could be a great watershed, a new transition in Scottish identity and the beginning of the end for the historic Union of 1707, with Scotland stepping on a irreversible road to independence.” So if you are reading this and you are near a computer, go find out what’s happening in Scotland.

Incoming students

On April 16 incoming students attended Admitted Students’ Day, where they enjoyed a barbecue lunch on the Reid side lawn and took campus tours.

editorial: On womanhood

I have a hard time writing about women.

“Feminism” always makes me uncomfortable. What is “feminism”? If I am going to be a feminist, do I have to refrain from shaving my legs? Do I have to like to say “vagina”? Do I have to stop reading Cosmopolitan in favor of Bitch Magazine?

Even the word “woman” gets under my skin. What is the difference between a “woman,” a “lady,” a “chick,” a “babe”? Would I be wrong to refer to myself and other women as one of the latter two terms?

But two months after Women’s History Month and two weeks after the “Vagina Monologues,” I have written about racism, classism, vegetarianism and Livejournalism, carefully skirting femin-ism all the while. The time has come.

I’m a loud-mouthed person. Offensiveness is just an inherent quality of my speech patterns. Last month, after reading a T. S. Eliot poem for a literature class I announced during discussion that “Eliot makes me come.” I sincerely can’t help it—these things just slip out. That’s why I want to be a print journalist instead of a television pundit.

As a result of my unbridled vernacular, I hear a lot of this: “You’re not really a girl at all, are you? You’ve got enormous balls hiding under your skirt.”
Actually, no, I don’t.

Then there’s the incident last week of one of my housemates belching loudly in the kitchen (as is her common practice), followed by another (female) housemate looking at her and saying, “You’re kind of a man, aren’t you?”
I’m not really sure what makes someone a man. I mean, the obvious testosterone thing is there, I guess, but “man” and “woman” seem like awfully small boxes to fit inside, even today.

Gender definitions are long overdue for a serious change.

According to an article by doctor Susan Ghosh, “Gender identity is defined as a personal conception of oneself as male or female .… It is intimately related to the idea of gender role, which is defined as the outward manifestations of personality that reflect the gender identity.”

Personal conception. So if I see myself as a woman (or a man), then that’s what makes me one (or both). I am a loud-mouthed, rude and crass woman. I’m not tucking any testicles that I’m aware of.

But here’s the thing: I’m not that strong.

I’m not strong enough to speak on behalf of women everywhere when someone tells me I’m “ballsy”; I can’t stop caring about how I appear to everyone else around me.

Last semester I lived in Chicago with two dichotomous depictions of “woman”: Janie (not her real name) was a full-figured woman with a shaved head and unshaven legs; Amy (also not her real name) got Brazilian waxes and wore an inch of make-up. These are both acceptable versions of woman, despite their physical and personal differences.

I was closer, though, with Amy. And Amy liked to say, “Okay, Janie’s legs are so disgusting and gross. If she’s going to make that choice, she at least needs to do the world a favor and wear long pants.”

To which I typically would say something like, “Yeah. And she should lose some weight.”

That’s something I’d like to take back.

The only excuse is that everyone in my life up to that point told me to act that way. In middle school, I was five-foot-four and I weighed 220 pounds. This was clearly unacceptable. I was taken to nutritionists and doctors, read every day at lunch because I was dismissed as repulsive by even the most socially low cliques and was even told by my grandmother that I was “an embarrassment to the family” and she would “have to get me on Weight-Watchers.”
Granted, it’s physically unhealthy to be 220 pounds in middle school.

Unhealthier, though, was that the emphasis was not on how bad it was for my body to hold all that weight; instead everyone focused on how it looked to the rest of the world.

There are eating disorder stories here; there are bad relationships, too. Everyone has stories like those, so I won’t bore you with mine.

What’s pathetic is that we women continue to treat each other in ways that make us hate ourselves.

I don’t think that I’m a “feminist.” Or maybe I am. Regardless, I am a woman. I am a slightly-chubby, overly-enthusiastic, vulgar, unreasonable woman. And fuck you if you tell me otherwise.

Danish Ambassador visits

On April 24 Denmark’s Ambassador, Friis Arne Petersen, delivered a lecture on campus, titled “ Denmark in the World Market,” in which he discussed Danish foreign policy, global climate change, global markets and Danish-U.S. relations.

‘Demolishing my femininity’

Something stupid and little happened last Thursday evening. Only it wasn’t stupid and little, it was actually really violent and continues to plague my mind.

I was at a sporting event, playing a sport at which I re-define the word “terrible.” My team was on defense and I was safely tucked away in a position where I could do little harm to anyone. A member of the opposite team, a close acquaintance of sorts, had just struck out and proceeded to unleash a chain of prolific and inventive swearing.

Partly in jest, I informed him that there were ladies present, to which two of my teammates standing across the pitch from each other, and loud enough so the entire playing field could hear, returned with something approximating, “Yeah, there’s ladies and then there’s Natalie.”

At the time I said nothing, even though it bothered me immensely. I let it stew the rest of the night before I obliquely wrote one of the gentlemen a message informing him of my displeasure. As I write this, the violence of demolishing my femininity as a joke, as something for the boys to laugh at, just because I happen to not fit those familiar tropes of what an immature and imbecilic 22-year-old would consider to be “feminine,” just makes me want to … hell, I don’t even know anymore.

I am used to having my being challenged on the grounds of race—I have impressive and tested mechanisms that deal with the casual cruelty of that behavior—but this? I thought my society, at least the society I choose to associate myself with, was past this type of behavior. I am not blonde and pretty with legs up to my chin. I am opinionated, reasonably intelligent and assertive, and I will never regard my life as incomplete if I don’t end up with that bullshit version of “happily ever after” that always seems to involve a prince but never seems to include a rewarding career that contributes meaningfully to the world and incredible life-long friendships.

And yet I am a woman, all 5’3” of me, and despite all of those personality traits I hold (and visual ones I don’t), that men are wont to appropriate as “natural” for their own gender expression and as “abnormal” for mine, I remain a woman. And yet, two gentlemen, one of whom in his own words has professed to “respecting me” on more than one occasion, saw fit to filet my being wide open in public with the casual violence of a sociopath.

I wish I had said something right then, something equally cruel, equally cutting, equally violent, and then left. I wish I could never associate with those boys (and that is what they are) nor anyone on that team who was amused at that particular brand of humor, but I guess one of the great tragedies of this world is that we don’t have that choice, most of growing up is learning to function with people who will never see you as equal or good enough and learning not to make yourself crazy by chasing their unreachable expectations.

That said, men, just because you don’t want to fuck her doesn’t mean she is automatically not a female, just as someone being black doesn’t automatically exempt them from being human (well, at least to most people). Humor that attacks or annihilates facets of another’s inherent self is not funny, it is brutal, sadistic, abominable and heartless and it has the power to seriously and permanently damage people.

However, if that’s the person you want to be, I suggest you keep your distance from me because I will not be caught by surprise again and you will receive your own treatment times 10. The time for “turning the other cheek” has passed. I will no longer passively accept the damage of my person any longer with a smile and a shrug. And you fellow students should cease putting up with that behavior in your own lives. If you know an individual that resembles the two toxic gentlemen I described above, jettison those cretins and go on about your life. Always choose quality over quantity and substance over appearance.

Class of 2011 selected from record number of applications

“Each incoming class is smarter than its predecessor,” joked sophomore Ariana Rampy, citing a common concern among students that Whitman is becoming more and more elite and the standard of admitted students is much higher.

Dean of Admission and Finacial Aid Tony Cabasco said this is “a myth that everyone likes to tell.” What has really happened is that, for the past couple of years, the admissions office has been receiving “a thousand more applicants each year than the year before, yet we haven’t changed the student body size.”

Because of pure statistical numbers, it is more difficult to get into Whitman this year than five years ago; it means that a prospective student now has to be even more academically and socially impressive to be noticed by the admissions team.

But this does not mean that each class is necessarily smarter than the one before it.
“How do you measure smart, anyway?” said Cabasco. “Seldom do you hear from the admissions office that ‘this is the best class.’ Is it harder to get into Whitman now? Probably. But our decision isn’t driven by GPA or SAT scores. It is whether or not we think the student it going to add something to campus.”

This year was a record year for applications for the class of 2011—3,042 students applied, an increase of 8 percent since last year. Admitted this year were 1,423, an acceptance rate of 46.9 percent. Currently, the admissions office has only received roughly a third of the responses from accepted students. They are still waiting for the rest, who must decide by this weekend for the May 1 deadline. They are aiming for a target class of 425 students—400 first-years and 25 transfers.

The class of 2011 is more geographically diversified than ever before. Applications came in from New England, Virginia, New York and Minnesota, among other east coast states and international applications. This is a geographical growth for Whitman, where the majority of students come from Washington, Oregon and California.

“Obviously [they] remain our biggest three states. Those three states make up about 67 percent of admitted students,” said Cabasco.

“The goal is to attract [more] students from around the country, and around the world to come to Whitman—[students] who are looking for a place like Whitman,” said Cabasco.
But Washingtonian prospective students shouldn’t get nervous at their new competition from the east coast.

“We are not going to sacrifice academic quality for someone who lives farther away. If we have two highly qualified students, geography may be a factor that comes in to play, [but only] among other things. It’s not like we will take every George in Tennessee simply because they live there,” said Cabasco.

Reclaiming power over the Executive Branch

As we wind down to the academic year’s end, I would like to voice a few thoughts on the situation of American Democracy today.

Leadership is inherently tied to picking the right team to lead. By that measure, President Bush has completely failed as the leader of this nation. What do the names Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Libby, Gonzales, Rove and Cheney have in common? Failure and corruption. To my knowledge, there has never been such an incredible failure of the nation’s highest levels of leadership in our country’s history.

But the failure of this administration goes further than bad policy. The Defense Department, Justice Department, Department of the Interior and the President’s own staff have all been plagued by scandal, resignation and criminal convictions.

Last week I wrote, “The threat to the American public today is from the collusion of technology, government, business, the military, power and greed.” That should be the number ONE concern of every American today.

In 1883, William Sumner, an ardent supporter of Laissez-faire economics, wrote, “Can democracy develop itself and at the same time curb plutocracy? Already the question presents itself as one of life or death to democracy.” If that is the case, then we are on our death beds.

As the Bush presidency draws to a close, many are wondering how his presidency will be remembered in history. I believe it will be remembered as the first government to blatantly demonstrate the inherent danger of an empowered Executive Branch, mass media, and business’ influence on government.

These charges will be fleshed out over decades to come, but we have seen enough in the form of lobbying, no-bid contracts, misinformation and political witch-hunts to know that there must be corrective actions taken to ensure that American citizens maintain control of their government.

There must be a massive movement in this nation to reclaim the powers of the Legislative Branch over the Executive Branch in matters of Intelligence, War Powers and selective enforcement of legislation.

These are highly technical matters of law and governmental arrangement. The Bush administration has masterfully used legal arguments to expand its powers; there must be a concerted effort in the legal community to oppose them. I was very encouraged while I was in Boston over spring break to see that the dominant article of the “Harvard Law Review” was covering a debate on the War Powers Act.

I do not agree with the “Impeach Bush” rallies. The problem is not that the President committed a crime. The problem is that he hasn’t. We need new legislation, and new legislators for that matter, to make the abuses of power that our government has gotten away with illegal. Yet the responsibility is ours, not just that of our legislators, and the American public has lost all desire to demand accountability.

The redeeming message of America is a reassertion of our foundational virtue as a society: individual autonomy. When our information, economic well-being and security rest in the hands of corporations, the government and a professional military, we have lost all semblances of autonomy and democracy.
Leadership is inherently tied to picking the right team to lead.

A profound investment in education, independent media, mandatory national service and transparent government, while retaining a commitment to individual civil and economic liberties, is the prescription for the survival of American Democracy in the 21st century as I see it.

This article is purposefully broad. It is meant simply to begin a dialogue about the issues presented above. I look forward to a reinvigorated political climate on this campus, centered on the resuscitation of the Young Democrats, strengthening of the Campus Republicans and engagement with Campus Greens.

Dunda expelled from ASWC Senate

After an impassioned speech in his own defense, which several members of the ASWC Senate, including outgoing first-year Senator Allison Armstrong and incoming Finance Chair Senator Eliot Okantey, admitted contained a number of valid critiques of ASWC, senior Senator Shea Dunda was expelled from the ASWC Senate.

The terms of his expulsion include revoking his voting rights and fining him for the amount he was paid for second semester. The chair of the Oversight Committee, the body overseeing the expulsion process, gave several reasons for Senator Dunda’s expulsion, which all boiled down to Senator Dunda being a “poor representative” of the senior class. In an effort to gloss over their fantastic fumble in this matter, the Oversight Committee disregarded the entire first semester of Senator Dunda’s service, which this reporter finds absolutely ludicrous as the first semester of Senator Dunda’s life cannot be divorced from the second and directly influenced his conduct, which he admits according to the requirements specified in the ASWC by-laws are grounds for both impeachment and/or expulsion.

I am sure you are curious why the Oversight Committee and the Senate decided on “expulsion” and not impeachment; I know I was. Under the terms of expulsion Senator Dunda is allowed to retain his title but not allowed to vote which, as Senator Bryce McKay pointed out, leaves the senior class one vote short (which in the joint session that immediately followed this hearing could have made a difference in a key vote concerning the budget) with no provision in place to fill the vacancy.

A key explication offered by Senator Dunda is something I myself have been puzzling over in the month since the beginning of this year when my close exploration of ASWC began. Senator Dunda was elected under the campaign banner of “Elect the Goblin King.” His campaign was an exercise in the ridiculous, and yet the class of ’07, a class that outgoing Finance Chair Ajay Abraham cited as being one of the most active voting classes in Whitman history, chose this person who advertised himself under the moniker “Clit Beastwood.”

That Shea Dunda is being expelled is not the problem, as he would wholeheartedly agree with; the problem is that the system of ASWC is profoundly flawed and that little attention is paid to fixing the pieces that are really broken, such as Senator and Executive Council accountability in the areas of voting, attendance and constituent outreach.

Senators are required to hold forums, but as senior Senator Chris Chamness stated during Senator Dunda’s defense, he had been lackadaisical in his responsibility in that area. In my rough month of covering ASWC for the Whitman Pioneer I can name several senators who have missed both senate and policy committee meetings. I sincerely doubt this was their first absence.
In my experiences of last semester during the “blackface incident,” it took the one senator that did contact me two days to do so, and I had to actually hunt down a number of other ASWC officials to get their input and aid with the situation.

However, while in my own way, I am voicing the same criticisms of ASWC as stridently as Senator Dunda, I believe the process for repairing said problems are here, as long as there are mechanisms of pressure/accountability from without the organization. First of all, students, yes, it is your senator’s job to hunt you down, to talk to you and solicit your input, but if they don’t, beat down their door. I spent a good chunk of a Monday lying in wait in Reid to solicit the support of the Executive Council for their support with the Virginia Tech vigil.

Our own Pioneer is also a useful tool to apply said pressure and ensure accountability. Though currently I believe this is hampered by having a Senator write the ASWC news pieces and the lack of useful things like voting records, official attendance records that aren’t written on scrap paper and the fact that despite several requests to the Communication Director, I don’t receive minutes until well after my deadline—which makes cross-checking with my audio recordings for inconsistencies difficult.

However, what all of this boils down to, fellow students, is your interest in the process and business of ASWC. I just sat through almost four hours of meetings, almost all of it thrilling. Kids, quite frankly, this shit kicks “Grey’s Anatomy’s” ass most of the time, plus the women there actually eat, oh you know, food, and the guys? Well, they don’t call our (outgoing) Communications Director McOddly Endearing for nothing.

The bottom line here is that Senator Dunda was expelled, and according to the by-laws he most certainly should have been, but it was handled in an exceedingly inept manner. This amateurish effort by the Oversight Committee highlighted some severe shortcomings across the board in the ASWC Senate, and even though one Senator suggested that this matter be looked at in a manner of degrees of offense (Senator Dunda representing a high degree of failure) I find it shameful and proof of the assertions that Senator Dunda made in his defense about the ethical failings of many ASWC officials that several senators, who I have personal knowledge of falling short in their assigned duties, voted ‘yes’ to expel their fellow Senator.

Sherwood Center to undergo extensive renovations

Prior to 2006, Sherwood Center housed the campus pool, fitness center, gym spaces and athletic offices.

When the college decided to improve the campus fitness facilities, administrators considered two options: knocking down and replacing Sherwood Center, or building another fitness center nearby and renovating Sherwood Center.

The college chose the latter option, and Baker Ferguson Fitness Center opened in the fall of 2006. Baker Ferguson Fitness Center houses the new fitness center, athletic offices, and the Paul Harvey Pool.

According to Dean Snider, Whitman’s athletics director and an associate professor of sports studies, Baker Ferguson Fitness Center is meant to be a complimentary piece to what Sherwood Center will ultimately become.

Recently, renovation plans for Sherwood Center have been proposed, but the college’s board of trustees must approve them before anything is finalized.

These proposed plans include space for a second gym by filling in the Sherwood pool and combining that area with the current small gym. The new gym would be a little smaller than the main gym, known as Stadium Court, but it would have the same wooden floor.

Varsity sports, clubs, and Intramural teams would have the ability to book this space. “Teams won’t have to wait until 10 p.m. to have access to gym space,” said Snider.

Also in the proposed plans are two additional spaces similar to the aerobics room. The current aerobics room is in great demand from various groups such as group exercise clubs and classes, the theatre department and marshal arts practitioners.

“The extra spaces should help meet all of the different requirements for these groups,” said Michele Hanford, lecturer of sports studies.

Other changes would include filling in some of the courtyard to create a front door for Sherwood Center near the fountain. The door would open up into a larger foyer that could be used as a “gathering space,” said Snider. This space would include a Hall of Fame wall.
The biggest and most exciting renovation proposed to Sherwood Center may be the plans for the climbing wall.

“The outdoor climbing wall is not usable for most of the year because of the weather, and liability is always an issue,” said Snider. So the college is looking to build an indoor climbing wall. “Classes would be able to use it every day,” said Snider.

Also the college is “investigating how to make the wall higher, with longer routes and more climbing space,” said Snider. Plans for a higher wall may include building lower into the ground.

Whitman is working with wall contractors Entre-Prises to build the indoor wall. Part of the wall would be made using panels of imprint material. These panels could be moved and adjusted to create different climbing routes.

The other portion of the wall would be made from free-form material. Entre-Prises could “architecturally design a cliff and then build it molding free-form and supporting it by metal frames,” said Snider.

The bouldering area would remain outside and even be increased. It would include actual, climbable boulders. “This new outdoor space will be very exciting,” said Snider.
“The new recreational facilities sound amazing,” said junior James Most. “As long as they don’t put televisions in every boulder, I’ll be happy.”

‘Fuzz’

One of the more impressive feats in recent years is that Nicolas Cage, after all he’s done to us with movies like “National Treasure” and “Ghost Rider,” has managed to remain a supremely likeable guy. With hair that only gets worse and eyes gooeyer than Jello, he somehow wins us over with only a smile and a flutter of those luscious eyelashes filmed at just the right three-quarter angle, and we continue to pay money for his terrible, terrible movies, just because it’s him.

Granted, his new film, “Next,” also has the draw of being based on a Philip K. Dick story. Only it seems that, after the very fine “Minority Report,” Hollywood decided to open up the Dick vault and start handing his material out to every hack and crack addict with a camera, and that gave us “Paycheck” and now “Next,” a bouncy, despicable mess directed with enthusiasm by Lee Tamahori.

Cage plays Cris Johnson, a bottom-rung Vegas magician who happens to have the actually magical ability to see two minutes into his own future. Without even going into the ham-handed government effort to foil a terrorist plot to blow up Los Angeles, I can tell you that this means the movie is 96 minutes of that scene in “Minority Report” where Samantha Morton helps Tom Cruise evade detection by seeing into the future just far enough for them to hide behind things at all the right moments. “Next” shows off this little trick in its first five minutes, during a snazzy sequence in which Cage avoids detection in a casino, but then the rest of the movie doesn’t have anything to top it. Johnson is recruited by a laughably stern FBI agent (Julianne Moore, whom I recently heard referred to as “that woman who always dies”) to help thwart the terrorist plot, but is himself too obsessed with an airy honeydew blonde (Jessica Biel) to try, and we in the audience are too bored with the movie’s gimmick to care.

What “Next” does have is some of the worst romantic dialogue since “Star Wars: Attack of the Clones,” and the most ridiculous, upsetting ending that has ever capped a movie advertised as escapism. Had this ending been put on a different movie, and been done completely differently, and been intended to convey a completely different point, it could have been thought-provoking. But once you settle down and think about it, you realize that, really, with this ending, “Next” has wasted our time in the silliest possible way for at least 45 minutes. It would be like if “Groundhog’s Day” had taken the time to show us all 24 hours of one of Bill Murray’s failed, mediocre days, and then ended before showing us the day when he actually got it right.

Movies like this make us forget that really fascinating things can come from simple premises. A man who can see a little bit into his future should be the subject of a probing science fiction film––or, wait a novel!––not a fluffy action movie. “Next,” more concerned with being the next big blockbuster than with how our shortsightedness affects our lives, raises all kinds of questions, and then disguises them as cute throwaway moments, or lets them float by so it can get to a car chase. How does Johnson get through a day if he’s bombarded by an endless feed of future-images? How can he see “the future” if by his actions he can prevent that future from coming true? How can he go on as a low-life magician when he could see the lottery numbers before they were revealed?
The most depressing thing the movie does, twice, is make us think of Stanley Kubrick. First “Dr. Strangelove” appears on TV, then Cage is strapped into an FBI torture chair with his eyelids pried open à la “Clockwork Orange.” When you find yourself wishing you could watch the movie that a character just tuned to on the television, you’ve hit rock bottom. And to think what the science fiction master Kubrick might have done with Dick’s premise only makes this movie feel like even more of a dung pile than it is. And finally, when the ending pulls the shoddily-made rug out from under us, and makes us realize just how much nothing was on the screen, all that’s left is the movie’s title, which tells us quite plainly that this non-descript turd of a movie will float on by just quickly enough for whatever comes next, and that will almost certainly be a better film.

Grade: D

DeSales graduates typically do not attend Whitman

DeSales Catholic School is a five minute walk from Whitman College campus, yet very few of its graduates continue their studies at the nearby liberal arts college.

DeSales High School is a Catholic school operating under the Spokane Catholic Diocese. The first Catholic educational institutions in Walla Walla area were started more than 140 years ago, but the current high school opened its doors in 1959.

DeSales was named after Francis de Sales, the patron of writers and journalists.
The Catholic schools in Walla Walla have 500 students enrolled in kindergarten to high school. DeSales has 125 high school students enrolled.

Eighty one percent of the students at the Walla Walla Catholic schools are Catholic, according to figures in DeSales promotion materials. Weekly Mass is mandatory and is held on Wednesdays.

“It is a good school,” said James Crosby, who graduated from DeSales last year.

“You cannot not do the work because it is so small, but it also does not have the same opportunities and class offerings that WaHigh does,” said Crosby during a phone interview from the University of Oregon campus in Eugene, Ore.

Crosby applied to Whitman College last year and was accepted, but decided in favor of the University of Oregon.

“I probably would have gone to Whitman if I didn’t live in Walla Walla, but it was the proximity to my family that finally drove me away from choosing Whitman as a school,” Crosby wrote in a Facebook message.

Whitman sophomore Nick Gottschall, who graduated from Walla Walla High School, echoed Crosby’s sentiments.

“Many Walla Walla students don’t even consider Whitman as an option,” he said. “People often think that a student from Walla Walla would attend Whitman only either because he or she has a full scholarship or parents working here.”

Every year a few DeSales seniors have the opportunity to attend a class at Whitman as part of a local college enrichment program. Crosby took introductory Chinese. Carol Baker, who will be graduating this year, used this opportunity to study French.

Baker will not be attending Whitman either.

“I love Whitman campus and the school, but what kept me from going to Whitman next year is that fact that it is in Walla Walla. I’ve lived here most of my life and really desire a change,” Baker wrote in a Facebook message. “I think that’s how a lot of DeSales students feel, although one girl I talked to choose not to go to Whitman due to the price.”

Tony Cabasco, dean of admission at Whitman College, thinks that this opinion is common among local high school students.
“From my experience with local high schools students, they would like a place like Whitman, but not here,” he said. “I am pleasantly surprised that there are as many local students as we have at Whitman.”

Whitman gets between 10 and 20 applications from Walla Walla High School graduates each year. The much smaller DeSales and Walla Walla Valley Academy, a Seventh Day Adventist high school in College Place, usually have one applicant each year.

The Admissions Office continuously works with high schools to attract students from the area. Admission representatives recently made a presentation about the college application process to a group of DeSales students and their parents.
Because the experience of living in Walla Walla can be very different from that of being a student at Whitman, Cabasco still encourages doubtful local high school graduates to consider Whitman as an option.

“Even for local students, going to Whitman is going away from home. They discover a different Whitman than just what they may observe superficially,” said Cabasco.

‘Hot Fuzz’

Back in 2004, Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright released a small cult film named “Shaun of the Dead.” A quirky, comedic take on the zombie genre, “Shaun” succeeded as a parody not just because it made fun of zombie movies, but because it had such a keen eye for the genre conventions which it then turned on its head. Unlike crap like “Epic Movie” or “Date Movie” which take recognizable plots and then turn one aspect on its head with a “that’s so crazy!” mentality, Pegg and Wright can spoof because they so obviously love the genres they’re parodying. Like “Shaun of the Dead” and zombies, “Hot Fuzz” reexamines the buddy cop movie (think “Bad Boys” or “Lethal Weapon”) with a cheeky, self-aware eye that is both excellent homage and humorous pastiche.

Nicholas Angel (Pegg) is a supercop patrolling the mean streets of downtown London. When his extreme efficiency begins to make the rest of the police force look bad, he’s unceremoniously dumped in middle-of-nowhere Sandford, the acclaimed “best village in England.” With the harshest crimes being underage drinking and graffiti, and with drunken lout Danny Butterman (Nick Frost) for a partner, Angel chafes in his new surroundings until a mysterious string of “accidental” deaths sets him on the trail of a massive conspiracy. Angel and Danny, the perfectionist and the hedonist, must band together to form the perfect cop team to take down the bad guys and save the day.

Early in the film, movie-obsessed Danny queries Angel about his big city police work, specifically whether he has ever: shot at a car during a high speed pursuit, used a witty catchphrase or done that sweet move where the guy leaps through the air with two guns blazing. Despite Angel’s terse negative, the film has laid out a promise: We’re going to show you that, ‘cause that shit’s awesome. Pegg and Wright are certainly fans of action movies and there’s almost a child-like delight (also seen in the acting of Pegg and Frost) in being able to recreate some of their favorite action scenes and motifs. They’re also excellent at setting up most of the jokes, but are also careful to ensure that the audience is in on the joke too. When the unexpected happens, it’s because we’re set in that action movie mindset, and each gag seems to be accompanied with a knowing wink towards the audience. Add to this the great chemistry between bumbly Danny and straight man Angel, along with excellent cameos by Martin Freeman, Bill Nighy and Timothy Dalton, and you have another piece in a great new wave of British humor.

Admittedly, the movie isn’t for everyone. The film can get bogged down and drag for a while, and some may be put off by the distinctly British humor. If you haven’t seen many action movies and aren’t a fan of the genre, much of the film may just seem like more of the same.

If you liked “Shaun of the Dead,” you should certainly enjoy “Hot Fuzz” (and if you haven’t seen “Shaun of the Dead,” do yourself a favor and check it out). In the days where “Scary Movie” has already put out four installments and crap like “Wild Hogs” tops the box office, it’s refreshing to see that people with good comic sensibilities and a love of movies are still able to create films.

Grade: A-