Music Video Meltdown
‘Blame It’ on Jamie Foxx
“Blame It”
Album: Intuition
(2008, J Records)
Jamie Foxx goes to an overtly red nightclub with pals Jake Gyllenhall, Forest Whitaker and… Ron Howard. Samuel L. Jackson menacingly chomps on a cigar in a corner. Bill Bellamy shows up for a paycheck. Also: furries. So, things that Jamie Foxx likes, perhaps? I imagine director Hype Williams had an elaborate plot for this video at one point, so maybe there’s a ten minute director’s cut out there. But even at five minutes, this is unbearable (Yes, even with Academy Award-nominated Howard sipping champagne while T-Pain does his magically spastic “Ah. AH AH!”.) And red. It’s like a Dario Argento film set in a dance club (without the point-of-view kills, of course). Did I mention the furry?
I would, however, like to play Gyllen-ball with Gyllenhall. That’s a video I’d watch. Of myself. And Jake Gyllenhall. Make it happen, Hype!
FINAL WORD: RED
Not a passage to India
“Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)”
Album: Jai Ho! – Single
(2009, A&M Records)
The Pussycat Dolls remix A.R. Rahman’s Academy Award-winning song “Jai Ho” (emphasis on the “Ho” here). Results are as you expect. This is the four minute high school remake of Slumdog with white people. The Schwerz wears a vaguely-Indian-but-not-really sari while the specter of A.R. Rahman chases her throughout a train station. The Schwerz mispronounces “Jai Ho” numerous times. The Schwerz thinks this song represents “an extension of where the movie took off in the end,” so I wonder which version of “Slumdog Millionaire” she saw. I don’t recall the scene where Freida Pinto’s character is surrounded by exotic burlesque dancers from the West.
In summation: Freida Pinto > Nicole Schwerzinger.
FINAL WORD: NO. JUST NO.
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